HELP!!!! Does this happens to you a lot?

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 17, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    Ok, I feel like this always happens to me. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I mean I do not go after people like this it just always happens. Let me tell you what I am talking about. Every since I can remember people who were involved seem to always find me and want to sleep with me or want to be with me.
    I am not being cocky. I am just being honest guys. When I was in college I use to love going after women who were already involved. But my brother told me that if I do not stop that that it would come back to bite me in the ass big time. So, I stopped doing it. Another problem I have is that I always meet people I can not have because they are either in relationships or they are in another freaking city. Why me? Is it something I am doing wrong? I am not going after these people. For example, a few years back I met two people at a bar. I met a guy who was staring at me constantly so I went over and said hi. We talked and I ask if he was single and he said no. However, doing this time he was like we should meet for a beer and hangout. I said what about your bf and he said he doesn't have to know. I was like thanks buddy but I do not believe in helping others cheat. Then a few weeks later I met this beautiful woman at the same bar. I met her outside and we started talking. I bought her a drink and asked where was she from and she said California. I wanted to go jump in incoming traffic. I asked if I could take her out for lunch and it was her last night in town. She said if I was ever out in San Diego to look her up. Guys, this stuff happens to me all the time. What is wrong with me? I must be cursed. I am sorry for venting but I just had to get some opinions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    Well, why not go after the people you like instead of waiting for circumstance to bring people to you? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 17, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    Seriously, does this happen to any body else or is it seriously just me? I mean I have already thrown in the towel but it doesn't hurt ask for others thoughts
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 17, 2011 5:07 AM GMT
    meninlove said Well, why not go after the people you like instead of waiting for circumstance to bring people to you? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
    aahh my favorite two people. Guys, they are people I generally like but somehow they always seem to be involved or live in other places. i always go after people i like unless it involves where i work than it is a no sir. i love my job more than the individual
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 18, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    any help?
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 20, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    wow this sucks no feedback other than my good buddies menilove
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 1:43 AM GMT
    Gosh, where is everybody?

    Well, from past experiences being single this is not so unusual. I met many people that were involved already and 'stepping out' as it were. I decided it was nice to make a new friend or acquaintance, and kept it there.

    As for the out-of-towners, Vancouver is a vacation destination for many, so I had a lot of fleeting experiences with them, occasionally sexual, but with most, no.

    I think it's just a matter of perseverance, my friend. That, and to maintain a wry inner sense of amusement at what circumstance throws at us. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 20, 2011 1:45 AM GMT
    meninlove said Gosh, where is everybody?

    Well, from past experiences being single this is not so unusual. I met many people that were involved already and 'stepping out' as it were. I decided it was nice to make a new friend or acquaintance, and kept it there.

    As for the out-of-towners, Vancouver is a vacation destination for many, so I had a lot of fleeting experiences with them, occasionally sexual, but with most, no.

    I think it's just a matter of perseverance, my friend. That, and to maintain a wry inner sense of amusement at what circumstance throws at us. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug

    doug, that is fine sometimes but other times its like damn. it must be me. i have to be doing something wrong
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Apr 20, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Your question is a bit garbled. If you know people are already involved elsewhere and you keep going after them, it may be that you are not wanting to catch them. You may be wanting an excuse not to be successful.

    Who approaches you? There must be some who are free. If not right now, be patient.

    Another thing you might consider is that you are going to run into a lot of people already in relationships. Just keep looking. It happens to lots of folks.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 20, 2011 1:57 AM GMT
    LJay saidYour question is a bit garbled. If you know people are already involved elsewhere and you keep going after them, it may be that you are not wanting to catch them. You may be wanting an excuse not to be successful.

    Who approaches you? There must be some who are free. If not right now, be patient.

    Another thing you might consider is that you are going to run into a lot of people already in relationships. Just keep looking. It happens to lots of folks.
    buddy there is no where in any of my statements did i say or mention that i go after anybody is not single. what i said is that i find out after i have spoken to them for a while. buddy, none of them have been free.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    Happens to me all the time too.

    And I also noticed you said you met them at a bar. As much as I like going out and stuff, you have to be prepared of the fact that out of 10 people you chat with, 9 of them just might have boyfriends.

    TuffguyindcI met a guy who was staring at me constantly so I went over and said hi.


    That was your 1st mistake. First off, you never 'go up' to a guy just because he's staring at you. You 2 need to meet halfway. If he doesn't start walking towards you, he wasn't that interested or he (as I thought) has a boyfriend.

    TuffguyindcI bought her a drink and asked where was she from and she said California.


    Did she have a drink already when you started chatting with her? You needn't be buying drinks for everyone who start a conversation with until you first find out what they are there for. That could take 30 minutes before you even buy the 1st drink.

    Sounds to me you are doing too much pursuing and not letting people draw towards you. I'm not suggesting you sit in the corner waiting for someone to walk up to you..

    The ones without boyfriends are generally the ones huddled up in a tightly knit group of friends at the club, and they generally go un-noticed. Then again, it's hard to tell at all at clubs. I met one guy who would dance with me everytime we met at the club, but wasn't interested in seeing me any other time. I had to force it out him to finally get him to admit he was talking with someone.

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 20, 2011 2:37 AM GMT
    brianindenver saidHappens to me all the time too.

    And I also noticed you said you met them at a bar. As much as I like going out and stuff, you have to be prepared of the fact that out of 10 people you chat with, 9 of them just might have boyfriends.

    TuffguyindcI met a guy who was staring at me constantly so I went over and said hi.


    That was your 1st mistake. First off, you never 'go up' to a guy just because he's staring at you. You 2 need to meet halfway. If you doesn't approach you, he wasn't that interested or he (as I thought) has a boyfriend.

    TuffguyindcI bought her a drink and asked where was she from and she said California.


    Did she have a drink already when you started chatting with her? You needn't be buying drinks for everyone who start a conversation with until you first find out what they are there for. That could take 30 minutes before you even buy the 1st drink.

    Sounds to me you are doing too much pursuing and not letting people come to you.

    The ones without boyfriends are generally the ones huddled up in a tightly knit group of friends at the club, and they generally go un-noticed. Then again, it's hard to tell at all at clubs. I met one guy who would dance with me everytime we met at the club, but wasn't interested in seeing me any other time. I had to force it out him to finally get him to admit he was talking with someone.

    ha ha ha ha i bought her a drink after we had been talking for a while. she was so freaking beautiful i didn't even care. now i never go out thinking that the person i meet is not going to be single if that is the case i will never talk to any one again. but thanks for the advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    tuffguyndc said
    ha ha ha ha i bought her a drink after we had been talking for a while. she was so freaking beautiful i didn't even care. now i never go out thinking that the person i meet is not going to be single if that is the case i will never talk to any one again. but thanks for the advice.

    Well, it's a bit harder (and easier at the same time) with women though. But my brother is straight so we talk about stuff like that all the time.

    As a Black guy, most gay guys are too intimidated to approach us...which is why rather than just sitting at the bar I'll dance around to 2 or 3 songs, and then walk around the club 1-2 times...repeat until someone grabs me. But I generally don't like to walk up to guys, and when I do I always regret it.

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 20, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    brianindenver said
    tuffguyndc said
    ha ha ha ha i bought her a drink after we had been talking for a while. she was so freaking beautiful i didn't even care. now i never go out thinking that the person i meet is not going to be single if that is the case i will never talk to any one again. but thanks for the advice.

    Well, it's a bit harder (and easier at the same time) with women though. But my brother is straight so we talk about stuff like that all the time.

    As a Black guy, most gay guys are too intimidated to approach us...which is why rather than just sitting at the bar I'll dance around to 2 or 3 songs, and then walk around the club 1-2 times...repeat until someone grabs me. But I generally don't like to walk up to guys, and when I do I always regret it.

    ha ha ha ha that is how i usually feel. however, i would rather get this appointed by taking the initiative rather than not and lose out
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 8:27 AM GMT
    tuffguyndc said ha ha ha ha that is how i usually feel. however, i would rather get this appointed by taking the initiative rather than not and lose out


    I know I feel the same, but they have to do some of the work too. And they will. I'll walk around and a guy will grab me or tickle my side of something and keep walking and I'll turn around and look at them and may even walk towards them.




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 8:29 AM GMT
    There's only one guy that I would date that actually lives in my country, and about 10 that live elsewhere.
    He's in Brazil visiting his family right now though so I have to wait for him to get back before we can go out again.