missing out on life...

  • tony_boost

    Posts: 390

    Apr 17, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    Do you guys ever get the feeling you're missing out? I know that's vague but if you do feel that way you know what i mean, like everyone was invited to a party except you and you don't know what you're doing wrong. what do you guys do to feel like your participating in your life, instead of just going through the motions?
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 17, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    I tend to just invite myself to whatever is going on...if I'm accepted, fine...if not..then I move on to the next one. 34.gif

    As handsome as you are, you should be posting a lot more than you do...and probably getting out more also. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 17, 2011 7:51 PM GMT
    tony_boost saidDo you guys ever get the feeling you're missing out? I know that's vague but if you do feel that way you know what i mean, like everyone was invited to a party except you and you don't know what you're doing wrong. what do you guys do to feel like your participating in your life, instead of just going through the motions?




    Holy God, you're rather young to be feeling that way...Yikesss man.

    But I feel it guy, no doubt...icon_wink.gif.. . Not alone at all.. . . .Wait til' you're in your late-twenties, feeling like you're just going through the motions takes on a whole new' theme and life of its own when you're about to trespass on decade numeral III ! Kinda like watching a gnarly picture -slide -show with the Cinema being your personal daily life ! Shit like this comes and goes.... .

    You'll make it.... . . icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_idea.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 18, 2011 1:36 AM GMT
    Anything can be fixed. It's just a matter of hiring the right professionals to make you stop feeling like that.
  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Apr 18, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    its not fun if everyone loves you...imo
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Apr 18, 2011 1:46 AM GMT
    Salutay21 said
    tony_boost saidDo you guys ever get the feeling you're missing out? I know that's vague but if you do feel that way you know what i mean, like everyone was invited to a party except you and you don't know what you're doing wrong. what do you guys do to feel like your participating in your life, instead of just going through the motions?




    Holy God, you're rather young to be feeling that way...Yikesss man.

    But I feel it guy, no doubt...icon_wink.gif.. . Not alone at all.. . . .Wait til' you're in your late-twenties, feeling like you're just going through the motions takes on a whole new' theme and life of its own when you're about to trespass on decade numeral III ! Kinda like watching a gnarly picture -slide -show with the Cinema being your personal daily life ! Shit like this comes and goes.... .

    You'll make it.... . . icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_idea.gif



    Late 20's?? Wait until you get to your mid-50's and seem like life has passed you by. I'm happy I got at least 20 percent up to this point and maybe I won't miss the other 80 percent.
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    Apr 18, 2011 1:49 AM GMT
    Not sure you do it, but the worst thing you can do is constantly compare yourself (negatively) with others.
    He looks so much better than I do,
    His dick is so much bigger
    He has so many friends
    He is the life of the party
    His muscles are so much bigger
    his boyfriend so hot
    Everyone is having fun
    They all have sex all the time
    .
    .
    .

    Live your life to make yourself happy and "missing out" is not part of your vocabulary anymore.
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    Apr 18, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    When I joined a twelve step program about 21 years ago, I found much solace in hearing other share what I had felt throughout most of my life...I didn't fit in a lot of places I thought should be easy for me...as a gay man.
    The most consoling wisdom I gained from hearing this time after time was that I was NOT alone...there are many men AND women who feel that way, at one time or another. And AGE has nothing to do with it.
    What I would suggest is focusing on the fact that you don't have to feel alone with this feeling. You are a child of the universe, no more, no less than the people all around you. You have value...and though you may not always feel it, you have a place on the planet..and a purpose in your life.
    May you find the peace and a place in your life and try to "pay it forward", remembering always that although you might not mean every thing to everybody, to someone, you might mean the world!!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 18, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    I think part of feeling life is fulfilling is making sure all is balanced..... are you
    taking the initiative to learn... to enjoy, especially the little things. So
    important never to get in a mundane rut. I know it can be hard, but the result can be a very rewarding life.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • tony_boost

    Posts: 390

    Apr 18, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    Friendsrbetter saidWhen I joined a twelve step program about 21 years ago, I found much solace in hearing other share what I had felt throughout most of my life...I didn't fit in a lot of places I thought should be easy for me...as a gay man.
    The most consoling wisdom I gained from hearing this time after time was that I was NOT alone...there are many men AND women who feel that way, at one time or another. And AGE has nothing to do with it.
    What I would suggest is focusing on the fact that you don't have to feel alone with this feeling. You are a child of the universe, no more, no less than the people all around you. You have value...and though you may not always feel it, you have a place on the planet..and a purpose in your life.
    May you find the peace and a place in your life and try to "pay it forward", remembering always that although you might not mean every thing to everybody, to someone, you might mean the world!!


    thanks for the help guys, and yes i do have a constant case of the grass is greener on the other side, i know there are people in my life that really care about me, but its hard feeling trapped like this and not knowing how to escape. I'd love to feel like a happy person but its like i don't even know where to start, and it seems like all i can ever remember is the bad stuff, and i completely overlook the good stuff. My biggest problem is just feeling left behind and that it's too late to enjoy life, that because i've already forced myself into unhappiness that i deserve to be unhappy
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 18, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    i do not think i have ever felt like that. when i was in my 20's i use to feel like i would never to where i wanted to be in life. then i got older and realized that i may not have the money i want but i am where i am supposed to in life.
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    Perhaps you're going through the 20s crisis. Those negative comparisons bhp were mentioning are specially harsh in your age because it's a time of transition to adult life, when contrasts between classmates can be very sharp.

    To use my case as an example: I still had a skinny boyish body whereas many classmates already had manly bodies; my acne got worse and worse while everyone else's acne had finished already; I was single and undateable while most of my classmates had dates or relationships; I was still using braces; adult responsibilities but no adult privileges; academic difficulties; no sex life.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Apr 18, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    I feel the same way about my life right now. Yep, I'm always looking for a way out, to move someplace 'better'. I'm just not happy with my town right now, and I don't really have good friends here; sure, we talk in school, and they're fun to be around, but we never do anything outside of school.icon_confused.gif There are no men that I'm attracted to here(there's very few open gays here to begin with, and many are too old or flamboyant) that are "available"(I don't count straight guys). I never get invited to parties, although I'm not a drinker so this doesn't bother me too much except for the fact of being accepted. Even though I consider myself bi, girls aren't attracted to me much so finding a date to a dance or prom is very difficult for me. I really hope these things improve when I go to college. Still, it feels like high school, while a blast for most people, was a depressing part of my life.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Apr 18, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    tony_boost saidDo you guys ever get the feeling you're missing out? I know that's vague but if you do feel that way you know what i mean, like everyone was invited to a party except you and you don't know what you're doing wrong. what do you guys do to feel like your participating in your life, instead of just going through the motions?


    If you lived around my area, I would hit you up for thingsicon_wink.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:04 PM GMT
    I know some people who take pictures and video of everything. Like, we're having a conversation or engaging in some activity and someone is always trying to get us to pose so that they can take a picture. "Do your Charlie's Angels!!!"

    They'll host viewing parties where everyone can see what a great time they had. "See, wasn't that party fun?" as proved by the volume of pictures. "Oh, ha ha ha, that was just before Tom dumped his Corona and it looked like he wet his pants..."

    Anyway, I've always thought unless a photo is a candid shot, the 20 seconds (sometimes minute) that someone hoards of my time to take each picture could have been spent by them--and us--having actual fun.

    Your homework: do something. Decide what is meaningful to you--making money, walking dogs, visiting old people, wiping kids' butts and noses--and then do it. Each day you will do something about your life that will not be missing.
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    Apr 18, 2011 5:11 PM GMT
    I do....

    not sure what to do about that...I just try to make more friends and enjoy what I do do (hahaha I said doodoo)
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:12 PM GMT
    it's a bit of a cliche, but "do your own thing"

    i realized in my mid 20s that i'd need to actually develop hobbies because work was not enough....friends can be unreliable...and you can't make the perfect partner appear by blinking.

    if you're doing your own thing, no matter what it is, you won't notice anyone else's imaginary metrics for what life should be...you'll be living yours
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:15 PM GMT
    BambinoRex saidit's a bit of a cliche, but "do your own thing"

    i realized in my mid 20s that i'd need to actually develop hobbies because work was not enough....friends can be unreliable...and you can't make the perfect partner appear by blinking.

    if you're doing your own thing, no matter what it is, you won't notice anyone else's imaginary metrics for what life should be...you'll be living yours


    Very well said icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    I feel like that a lot as well. Life can be very lonely at times. I have found this though: super popular people who seem like they are having a lotof fun aren't necessarily any happier. Some people change who they are to fit in and be invited to parties. In dallas, where I live, I did just that while I was withmy x.when he dumped me, all these people I thought were my friends regardless, never spoke to me again. Then I ran into some of them at a bar. They acted as if I was there best friend. I realized then that I was a fool to have envied them, or have wanted to be part of their shallow world. I have a few,but loyal friends that are there for me through good and bad times. Sometimes,they people we envy aren't deserving. Just know you can make your life whatever you want. Focus on quality not quantity and learn to enjoy time alone as well.
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Apr 19, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    Ya you have to not measure yourself by what you are missing out on and what other people are doing. You have to just do what you can to enjoy all the time you have I think. Sometimes your friends or people around you may do something you miss out on, but you don't realize that other times you are probably having experiences in your life that they are missing out on.
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    Apr 19, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    If your happy doing what you do then don't worry about what your missing out on. If you have the people you care about most in your life thats all that matters and doing the things you love most.as well.
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    Apr 19, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    The best way to handle not being invited to a party is to throw a bigger party. And I don't mean that literally.
  • bolero_of_fir...

    Posts: 551

    Apr 19, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    Sounds like you should watch this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs