Strategies For Dealing With A Broken Heart

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2011 11:54 PM GMT
    How do you stop yourself from having feelings for people? Ive gone back to smoking to try to numb the feelings, but I dont like having to resort to chemicals to try to control my brain... Music doesnt work anymore.. Im fine when I work, but once Im off work, the feelings return... I would like to know how yall have learned to cope with it
  • northernblood

    Posts: 58

    Apr 18, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    Pato_Rico saidHow do you stop yourself from having feelings for people? Ive gone back to smoking to try to numb the feelings, but I dont like having to resort to chemicals to try to control my brain... Music doesnt work anymore.. Im fine when I work, but once Im off work, the feelings return... I would like to know how yall have learned to cope with it

    a good consuming hobby is perfect. Your never going to stop those feelings for people, welcome to humanity. Don't numb yourself, because life is too short not too feel it. I have given up on having a relationship, just because I am much happier being alone (well not totally alone, got my friends). If your talking about a strong crush on a single person, either persue it and try and make it work, or accept that it won't work and move on, it will happen with time.
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    Apr 18, 2011 12:15 AM GMT
    northernblood said
    Pato_Rico saidHow do you stop yourself from having feelings for people? Ive gone back to smoking to try to numb the feelings, but I dont like having to resort to chemicals to try to control my brain... Music doesnt work anymore.. Im fine when I work, but once Im off work, the feelings return... I would like to know how yall have learned to cope with it

    a good consuming hobby is perfect. Your never going to stop those feelings for people, welcome to humanity. Don't numb yourself, because life is too short not too feel it. I have given up on having a relationship, just because I am much happier being alone (well not totally alone, got my friends). If your talking about a strong crush on a single person, either persue it and try and make it work, or accept that it won't work and move on, it will happen with time.


    Sigh, it sure takes LOOOOOOONG... Ive already told myself to move on for months.. thanks for the advice though, I hope I will find a better coping strategy soon, my hobbies have stopped working.. only being at work distracts me, its just the time off I have to find some way to cope
  • northernblood

    Posts: 58

    Apr 18, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    well at least your super hot icon_biggrin.gif have you tried finding a fuck buddy? maybe someone in north minnesota, hehehe jk, or maybe not. Are you battling loneliness? or just really trying to get over that special someone?
  • zenny

    Posts: 229

    Apr 18, 2011 5:43 AM GMT
    Time...and stop watching those sappy love movies. I've been through it (I think) , I know it sucks. Try going out with friends, or spend time with a bestfriend. Go on a date(s).....remember you should NEVER be the one that got his heart broken, leave that for the other guy (hopefully no one gets heart broken).
  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Apr 18, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    it's also really hard sleeping

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    Apr 18, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    Drink......a lot. ;)
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Apr 18, 2011 6:25 AM GMT
    Nope - don't drink a lot.

    I've read a book or two in my time for my job, and one of the things that is recommended is to do more exercise and wellbeing stuff - because your healthy body is also linked to a healthy mind and healthy thoughts, physically looking after yourself will help you begin to get over things and feel better (although I don't think the author of a book realised this may be difficult for guys on a gay fitness website thats already got guys keeping fit! The book did recommend increasing exercise during this period if you were already quite fit, as well as eating healthier.)

    Its the norm for people to go get smashed after being drunk but by doing the reverse, it can really help.

    I got dumped just before Christmas, I found writing down the reasons why it wouldn't have worked helped too.

    And remember that there will be a time when you get over the bloke, you just need to journey towards that place.

    Good luck!
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    Apr 18, 2011 7:05 AM GMT
    Ask my ex. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 7:21 AM GMT
    Friends, Friends, Friends!
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    Apr 18, 2011 7:32 AM GMT
    Copious amounts of alcohol.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 18, 2011 8:18 AM GMT
    Take LSD....makes you forget even your own nameicon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 8:23 AM GMT
    AntoNomad saidTake LSD....makes you forget even your own nameicon_twisted.gif


    YES!! LSD.. Cutting works too!
  • helios01

    Posts: 349

    Apr 18, 2011 8:30 AM GMT
    Hey, been in the same situation... still kinda am

    Try going out... With a friend or by yourself... I have gone downtown on my day off to hang out with my friend and by myself... its good... lets u loose and absorb some light....

    I went out with this guy too... it helps to stop thinking about the one that broked your heart.... It is not easy... i mourned for 2 months... but i think about it... you are thinking about him this much.... do u think u have even crossed his mind for a second? I am still not healed, or at least i dont feel like i am... but i think i am better off than before when i cried when i thought about him.... hopefully this new guy will take over the space in my heart icon_smile.gif

    keep ur head up kiddo

    ~(hugs)~
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    Apr 18, 2011 8:31 AM GMT
    rjb2001 saidAsk my ex. icon_rolleyes.gif


    icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    sdgman said
    AntoNomad saidTake LSD....makes you forget even your own nameicon_twisted.gif


    YES!! LSD.. Cutting works too!


    That's fucked up
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    Apr 25, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    time will heal the pain, but until then it's gonna hurt like hell. My experience taught me that it's best to share these with someone, let that person be your best mate, parents, psychologist, or whoever you can trust. It helps to ease the pain and also put things into perspective. Surprisingly, great sex helps too, although it's more of just a temporary effect. but..still good..icon_twisted.gif
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Apr 25, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    First......Don't stop feeling....we're human....If your sad.....cry...Some would say it's not manly to cry...that's bullshit....If your angry...be angry....hittin the gym reduces anger and stress...Several years ago I had anger issues...if a guy looked at me wrong at a bar...I'd try to beat their ass...Maturity has changed things...now...when I'm pissed I'll go to my basement where I have my heavy bag...I'll put on my gloves and punch until I'm tired and beat...I don't think you remember this...But sometime back....you talked about being depressed about a guy...I'll tell ya now what I told ya then....This person must be a fuckin moron to pass up the chance to spend every waking moment to be with ya....Your quality....and few have this attribute ....Lastly, time is a great healer...stay busy.....get support from your valued friends...reach out here...this stranger truly cares ....cause in my eyes your worth caring for......Sincerely....Steve...aka...BUD
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    Apr 25, 2011 3:19 AM GMT
    Take 60 days off dating. Stop speaking to him for this entire time. No contact. Get a new trainer. Reconnect with you. I've just been through it. Kia Kaha icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 25, 2011 9:16 AM GMT
    charlieviiperi saidit's also really hard sleeping



    awwww, nice song. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2011 9:53 AM GMT
    selfsame saidtime will heal the pain, but until then it's gonna hurt like hell. My experience taught me that it's best to share these with someone, let that person be your best mate, parents, psychologist, or whoever you can trust. It helps to ease the pain and also put things into perspective. Surprisingly, great sex helps too, although it's more of just a temporary effect. but..still good..icon_twisted.gif


    sex may help.. but that may just make it messy, i know i get attached to people i have sex with, hence why theyve all been my boyfriends.

    just do you, take care of yourself, work out, pick up a new hobby, go dance in the rain. its the little things ;)
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    Apr 25, 2011 10:11 AM GMT
    Pato_Rico saidHow do you stop yourself from having feelings for people? Ive gone back to smoking to try to numb the feelings, but I dont like having to resort to chemicals to try to control my brain... Music doesnt work anymore.. Im fine when I work, but once Im off work, the feelings return... I would like to know how yall have learned to cope with it


    Work more? That's what I'm doing icon_neutral.gif
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    Apr 25, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    hobbies. learn new skills that take you outside of yourself. talk to other people. if they talk about their relationships, don't mirror and talk about yours. just listen.