Today, I experienced.. Nirvana. And then stumbled out of the closet.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    I experienced something strange today. I have been working towards coming out for a long time. But there was something in my mind keeping me from taking the final step and actually telling people.. there was some fear or something in the back of my head.

    Anyway, today I finally felt a calm about it. I officially, completely, totally, 100% accepted myself and all aspect of me. Its like I'm looking at this whole "situation" clearly for the first time. I'm confident that everything will be ok. That those around me love me and will continue to do so, even more so now.

    Did anyone else feel that.. nirvana like state when coming out? I feel like the fact that I did not set a goal time of coming out for myself was really beneficial. I just went with it, and now am finally "here."

    Little side note: before today, I had told only a couple of my closest friends. Today, I ended up telling a bunch of people. I've experienced so much support and positive feedback, this has truly been an incredible process. And a mixture of forces has helped me have the strength to get here. The biggest force was the internet, and RJ played a significant role in that realm. I truly appreciate everyone out there.

  • charlieviiper...

    Posts: 328

    Apr 18, 2011 5:14 AM GMT
    Awwe.

    Congrats icon_smile.gif

    I hope I'll experience "nirvana" one day too when I tell my parents.
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    i would wait till youre atleast 25
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    You deserve an Oprah hug.

    -I wonder what it would be like to reverse being gay and tell my parents and friends I'm straight. I think they would all be devastated and sickened.
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    Apr 18, 2011 12:50 PM GMT
    Thanks for sharing your experience! Sounds like you have some great friends, but I'm sure your positive energy will continue to play a big part of your nirvana and your coming out.
  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    Apr 18, 2011 12:55 PM GMT
    I'm very happy to read thisicon_smile.gif

    Best of luck to you on your journey and I things can only get better.
  • chepibe

    Posts: 14

    Apr 18, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    Congrats dude!

    I can't point to one moment, but the catalyst to me coming out was watching youtube videos on on coming out stories.

    I started watching them out of curiosity thinking to myself, I just want to know what people are saying, I do not have any intention of coming out.... I was dead wrong. within 2 weeks of watching people's posts, I came out to my first friend. I literally came out when I did because of Youtube. haha icon_eek.gif
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Apr 18, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    Did anyone else feel that.. nirvana like state when coming out?

    No. Coming out for me felt like accepting the destruction of my life for the sake of truth. I wish I felt better but honestly I feel stressed out a lot and have anxiety/depression issues. I feel completely open to attacks and always uncertain about how people will treat me with or without my knowledge.
    It doesn't feel so bad when I isolate myself socially but sometimes when I start to interact with people it starts to come back.
    I tried going to a coming out group - wasn't a good experience.
    Therapists too, but they can't really fix negative treatment of gay people - all they were basically was someone I could talk to about how stressed out I felt. Medication was tried but it didn't work.

    It probably wouldn't be so bad for me had I not observed so much negativity in regard to homosexuality, particularly when growing up, and some negative experiences I've had for being at least thought of as gay while growing up and as an adult.

    I also came out when I did not because I felt calm, at peace, or safe about it but because I felt like I was never going to feel that way so unless I waited potentially 'forever' to feel better before I did about it I just did it.

    I never had nightmares of anti-gay treatment until I came out now that I think about it. Mainly of being attacked or potentially attacked.

    Man talking about it makes me look so messed up! icon_sad.gif

    From my experience 'coming out' isn't a one time experience, it is something that is continuous and repeated potentially with each new person that is encountered.
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:10 PM GMT
    Gay just got a whole lot better with you on the team, then.
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:18 PM GMT
    Congrats dude!
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:22 PM GMT
    Congrats! It sounds like your life will feel a whole lot better.
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    Way to go! Glad you feel great!
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    ivyjock saidI experienced something strange today. I have been working towards coming out for a long time. But there was something in my mind keeping me from taking the final step and actually telling people.. there was some fear or something in the back of my head.

    Anyway, today I finally felt a calm about it. I officially, completely, totally, 100% accepted myself and all aspect of me. Its like I'm looking at this whole "situation" clearly for the first time. I'm confident that everything will be ok. That those around me love me and will continue to do so, even more so now.

    Did anyone else feel that.. nirvana like state when coming out? I feel like the fact that I did not set a goal time of coming out for myself was really beneficial. I just went with it, and now am finally "here."

    Little side note: before today, I had told only a couple of my closest friends. Today, I ended up telling a bunch of people. I've experienced so much support and positive feedback, this has truly been an incredible process. And a mixture of forces has helped me have the strength to get here. The biggest force was the internet, and RJ played a significant role in that realm. I truly appreciate everyone out there.



    When I came out it was Nirvana fo sho! I had a Cinderella coming out. Nothing but support. No I didn't have a tiara and heels.
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    Apr 18, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    Congrats! I think accepting yourself completely is essential in coming out. Support systems are another essential element. Sounds like you have both and now are experience a weight lifted from your shoulders. That's great icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 3:19 PM GMT
    well done mate!
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    Apr 18, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    Congratulations. It is a nice feeling knowing that everyone knows and you don't have to hide anymore.