Ever had someone you liked "stolen" from you

  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    Apr 18, 2011 1:53 PM GMT
    So here's a funny story.... something that seems to happen to me a lot.

    A few weeks ago a couple of friends and I went to a gay bar in town. The only girl who went decided to bring along a "closeted" friend of hers (a guy, let's call him Pete?) and was hoping that I would be helpful in him coming out and introducing him to the gay scene.

    Well this kid's quite quiet, he's fine looking and a nice guy (very twink-ish I must add) but he didn't really introduce himself to people. So I felt obligated to help him and introduce him myself. All went well for a while.

    Soon I meet this really hot guy, very handsome and rugged like myself (haha, jk) and we kind of "hit it off". I'm not a hookup guy but we exchanged numbers and I was hoping we could have a cup of coffee or something another day.

    Then somehow Pete comes along and takes the spotlight, grabbing this guy's attention.

    Well that was it for me. He shrugged me off and went home with Pete (doing god knows what.... Pete's never been with a guy before).

    They're not dating and getting serious! icon_wink.gif

    Ironic huh? I'm very happy for them.

    But it was frustrating at first. I went out of my way to help this kid and then he kind of "took" the guy I was interested in. That night he even told me I was "ruining his game" (after all the help I gave him).

    Haha. I got to admit I was a little jealous and upset because this seems to happen to me often. People kind of "use" me to find meaningful relationships and I feel like I don't get much in return.

    Can anyone relate to me on this? Is it reasonable for me to have been a little upset?

    Of course I'm over the whole situation, but I'm curious as to what anybody else here thinks.
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    Apr 18, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    I loled when he said "you are ruining the game for me"

    Guess he wasn't shy afterall. kik
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:26 PM GMT
    Oh dude thats sucks!

    Yeah its happened to me a few times, but thats just life i guess, different people find different things attractive.
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:37 PM GMT
    here's a funny story...

    over 10 years ago, i had a friend who was in his 30s, newly out and looking for Mr Right to settle down with...he would flirt with me, but i was not ready to settle down, so i never responded. FOR ME, that would be being a tease...if I can't really give you what you want. so anyway, i introduced him to his future partner at a bar because he was too shy...and i was not shy.


    flash forward 10+ years...i move back to town. they are still together. i see them on facebook and we all chat. my introduction is part of their personal mythology. they have a large circle of professional friends, by which i could hopefully socialize and make new friends...or meet someone (now i'm older and in a different place). but i never get invited. no reason why. i ask. they deflect....wtf..

    one night on grindr, the original friend finds me and decides to tell me all about how he was always into me....the partner was backup plan....blah blah...now it's clear to me why i've never been included. despite never flirting with either of them, i'm a threat of sorts, through no wrong doing of my own.

    it doesn't cut me off from those social circles, but it would have been easy entry and it didn't happen.

    which is sad.
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    Apr 18, 2011 5:54 PM GMT
    don't worry man, karma has its ways.
    Karma
    has
    its
    ways
    ...

    You will get a deserving guy for you one day when you least expect it just as that guy got the man you worked hard for.
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    Apr 18, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    Avron88 saidSo here's a funny story.... something that seems to happen to me a lot.

    A few weeks ago a couple of friends and I went to a gay bar in town. The only girl who went decided to bring along a "closeted" friend of hers (a guy, let's call him Pete?) and was hoping that I would be helpful in him coming out and introducing him to the gay scene.

    Well this kid's quite quiet, he's fine looking and a nice guy (very twink-ish I must add) but he didn't really introduce himself to people. So I felt obligated to help him and introduce him myself. All went well for a while.

    Soon I meet this really hot guy, very handsome and rugged like myself (haha, jk) and we kind of "hit it off". I'm not a hookup guy but we exchanged numbers and I was hoping we could have a cup of coffee or something another day.

    Then somehow Pete comes along and takes the spotlight, grabbing this guy's attention.

    Well that was it for me. He shrugged me off and went home with Pete (doing god knows what.... Pete's never been with a guy before).

    They're not dating and getting serious! icon_wink.gif

    Ironic huh? I'm very happy for them.

    But it was frustrating at first. I went out of my way to help this kid and then he kind of "took" the guy I was interested in. That night he even told me I was "ruining his game" (after all the help I gave him).

    Haha. I got to admit I was a little jealous and upset because this seems to happen to me often. People kind of "use" me to find meaningful relationships and I feel like I don't get much in return.

    Can anyone relate to me on this? Is it reasonable for me to have been a little upset?

    Of course I'm over the whole situation, but I'm curious as to what anybody else here thinks.


    So what's the moral of the story? If you don't go home with the hot guy someone will??

    Btw, I didn't get the underlined part of your story esp the j/k part. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 18, 2011 10:03 PM GMT
    BambinoRex saidhere's a funny story...

    over 10 years ago, i had a friend who was in his 30s, newly out and looking for Mr Right to settle down with...he would flirt with me, but i was not ready to settle down, so i never responded. FOR ME, that would be being a tease...if I can't really give you what you want. so anyway, i introduced him to his future partner at a bar because he was too shy...and i was not shy.


    flash forward 10+ years...i move back to town. they are still together. i see them on facebook and we all chat. my introduction is part of their personal mythology. they have a large circle of professional friends, by which i could hopefully socialize and make new friends...or meet someone (now i'm older and in a different place). but i never get invited. no reason why. i ask. they deflect....wtf..

    one night on grindr, the original friend finds me and decides to tell me all about how he was always into me....the partner was backup plan....blah blah...now it's clear to me why i've never been included. despite never flirting with either of them, i'm a threat of sorts, through no wrong doing of my own.

    it doesn't cut me off from those social circles, but it would have been easy entry and it didn't happen.

    which is sad.


    Aww I'm sorry to hear that. But you're not into the original friend anymore, right? So...no gain, no loss?
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    Apr 18, 2011 10:46 PM GMT
    Avron88 said...but I'm curious as to what anybody else here thinks.

    I think it sometimes happens. Story:

    I had seen this new guy at our gay club, and the bartender/owner told me he was only recently out. I introduced myself, and the guy confirmed he was a newbie. I offered my advice if he ever wanted it, but didn't want to push the guy. I didn't see him again for nearly 2 months.

    Then one Friday night he shows up there again, and I try a little harder, cause he really interests me. We're getting along great, and my attention is diverted to a friend at the bar for a moment, and when I look back, he's leaving the bar with this other guy! A guy I'd met earlier myself, visiting from Las Vegas. I was furious, never had a guy swiped from under me like that before. I went home empty-handed, feeling like my pockets had been picked.

    Next night, Saturday, I'm there again, and who shows up once more but Mr. Newbie. OK, this time he's not getting away, I want this guy, a matter of pride now. I don't see Mr. Las Vegas, and Newbie tells me he did go back to the guy's hotel with him. I reply I had something better in mind for him.

    It's gets to be closing time, he seemed to want to see the night through, but I never left his side, not about to get pushed aside a second time. And finally as the bar lights came on I simply said: "You wanna come back to my place?"

    He agreed, we had great sex, he slept over, and continued to sleep over, and me sometimes at his place, for the next 2 years. We traveled all over, including to Key West, and I wish it could have stayed permanent. But he doesn't want permanence to this day, whereas I do. Yet we remain good friends, on the phone quite a bit though now nearly 2000 miles apart, me partnered again, him still single.

    I don't like to have anything stolen from me, not money, nor a man. I will always try to get them back. I usually succeed. icon_wink.gif
  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    Apr 19, 2011 2:59 AM GMT
    Cityaznguy said
    Avron88 saidSo here's a funny story.... something that seems to happen to me a lot.

    A few weeks ago a couple of friends and I went to a gay bar in town. The only girl who went decided to bring along a "closeted" friend of hers (a guy, let's call him Pete?) and was hoping that I would be helpful in him coming out and introducing him to the gay scene.

    Well this kid's quite quiet, he's fine looking and a nice guy (very twink-ish I must add) but he didn't really introduce himself to people. So I felt obligated to help him and introduce him myself. All went well for a while.

    Soon I meet this really hot guy, very handsome and rugged like myself (haha, jk) and we kind of "hit it off". I'm not a hookup guy but we exchanged numbers and I was hoping we could have a cup of coffee or something another day.

    Then somehow Pete comes along and takes the spotlight, grabbing this guy's attention.

    Well that was it for me. He shrugged me off and went home with Pete (doing god knows what.... Pete's never been with a guy before).

    They're not dating and getting serious! icon_wink.gif

    Ironic huh? I'm very happy for them.

    But it was frustrating at first. I went out of my way to help this kid and then he kind of "took" the guy I was interested in. That night he even told me I was "ruining his game" (after all the help I gave him).

    Haha. I got to admit I was a little jealous and upset because this seems to happen to me often. People kind of "use" me to find meaningful relationships and I feel like I don't get much in return.

    Can anyone relate to me on this? Is it reasonable for me to have been a little upset?

    Of course I'm over the whole situation, but I'm curious as to what anybody else here thinks.


    So what's the moral of the story? If you don't go home with the hot guy someone will??

    Btw, I didn't get the underlined part of your story esp the j/k part. icon_wink.gif


    No moral, just venting ........icon_twisted.gif

    We got our moments icon_smile.gif