If you're afraid to find someone, then you need to be doing everything possible to make yourself visible to men.
Sign up for multiple dating sites, go out once a week for a few hours, join a club...anything.
onexepshyn saidI came out at 18 years old and have actively searched for a life long relationship since then. I always thought I'd be partnered by the time I was 30.
Well, 30 is three months away...
Well, I think you are making as mistake. A life-long partner is scary to most of us. I think it's better to just chill, relax and let things develop from a dating to boyfriend to a relationship stage, rather than demanding a life-long partner. I mean, people change and desires change...you at 18 are different than 30. Life-long partnership has to be built, not required.
Looking back, nearly all the guys I became boyfriends with with the exception of maybe 1 or 2 of them, would not have been suitable for life long partners much less living together! Even though we did not realize at the time.
And FYI, if I were in San Diego you would not be single honey!