Never really dated & relationships how do they work, were do they start etc.

  • rndale

    Posts: 90

    Apr 20, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    I wrote this in another post and realized that I needed advice so I started this one.

    rndaleMy parents were hippies so when I was a kid we traveled thru Central America, and that is were I get a lot of my values so to me most American have foreign values, and thus are foreigners.

    So I am up to dating foreigners but, since I have never dated, except for school dances, I don't know for sure. So, now I need to start post on how to start dating? Wow I have never dated.



    Your Personality is Very Rare (INTJ)

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    Your personality type is logical, uncompromising, independent, and nonconformist.



    Only about 3% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 4% of all men.

    You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging.

    rndale PROFILEParents were hippies who traded a life for a lifestyle, moved to one of the first McMansion when I was 7 we finally got a TV during the last real estate crashes grew up as the only kid in the development. Parents divorced on my 13th birthday, good thing in long run. Got into fashion in high school, basically global anthropological economics. Went to FIDM studed Apparel Manufacturing Management. After that worked in Retail before going to the Marines, got ELS (entry level separation) medical discharge for my hip.

    Now at school and working off and on as needed to pay for school.I know about fashion so I have the hardest time shopping for clothes. Most of my fun clothes are from high school I am still the same sizes except shirts. So I always wear work clothes its just easier, although i look like inspector Lynley.


    25 year old virgin, IQ 150. The only time I spent around people is in school. Gay or Straight I have no idea, grew up outside of the culture that constantly objectify women and men as objects. When I developed in Junior high I thought it was a deformity, until I saw someone use a cultural term at the cinema. That is how isolated I have been. I have had know one to explain what sexual development was or what a boner is.
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    Apr 20, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    Use the 6-step troubleshooting method:
    1. You've already lived one extreme on the spectrum of life, so that part's covered.
    2. Now, start frequenting the sleaziest gay strip joints you can find.
    3. If you find that to be not all that fun, start frequenting a mid-level gay club.
    4. Depending on the outcome of that, you can go upwards to a high end gay club, or ...
    5. Go to something in between the sleazy and mid-level.
    6. By the time you get to this point, you'll have enough experience in the overall gay community that you can make an educated decision on which area of gay culture you feel most comfortable with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    As with any culture, you're going to find that your "niche" is rarely going to find you...and you have to search for "it." Basically if you're gonna start with internet dating and meet up with someone *with the intention of dating/relationship/etc...*

    Always meet in a neutral setting. Coffee shop, deli, etc (something small and public) You're going to find that a lot of people aren't who they say they are, or are people that you'll have already preconceived a picture of that is incorrect. To combat that, If they seem really interesting right off the bat, meet in person as soon as possible. Reason being, the more time you're not actually interacting face-to-face; the more time you'll have to come up with expectations of the person that may, or may not be real.

    If things work out and you have a mutual like for eachother, things will progress naturally. Since you'll want to see eachother again, you'll find yourselves planning to see eachother more often.

    More times than not, a relationship is basically a car with no brakes pushed down a hill. You'll start out at a slow and varying pace, but things will set themselves up quickly.

    Or, as stated above, you can immerse yourself into the gay club scene and attempt to establish your foundation there. Of course, the gay scene spans every lifestyle of the straight world so keep in mind that clubbing and sifting through tricks isn't the only avenue. There are local organizations, clubs, and other gay-friendly events in which to meet people on less demanding terms.

    People are unpredictable. Some are great, some aren't so great. You will probably have to weed though a lot of riffraff to find someone that you click with. Either way, welcome to the world!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 8:43 PM GMT
    "More times than not, a relationship is basically a car with no brakes pushed down a hill. You'll start out at a slow and varying pace, but things will set themselves up quickly. "

    Dude, I love this quote. You could extend it to say that the higher the incline, the faster it goes, the harder the crash.
  • rndale

    Posts: 90

    Apr 20, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    icon_exclaim.gifDifferent Culture Alarmicon_exclaim.gif
    When we talk in my family you remove yourself out of the conversation so you won't get offended. We never have conversations about what Americans
    call normal things (celebrities, movies, etc) we go into the Nazi metallurgy technology or the engineering construction of that parking structure, what you would improve to the restaurant, meal, or that woman's/mans appearance. Anyone who is not use to this gets offended, once they are they love the honesty, the intelligence and the insight, the trick to be able to talk in public is to constantly change subjects quickly so we tie all the subjects together and then do a summary at dessert.

    The flaw of talking this way is that I never remember what people say or what I say. So, I just never lie, it takes to much effort, I never remember my exact words. So when I have to remember what I said, I say it must have been something like this... and it usually is, unless it was an opinion which has changed.

    DougiiThere are local organizations, clubs, and other gay-friendly events in which to meet people on less demanding terms.
    I like that
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    Apr 21, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    The first thing you need to learn is that love and human relations are primitive forms. Stop over thinking and over analyzing stuff. Let mother nature take her course. Peace and love! ^_^