Dating101

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2011 8:01 AM GMT
    Hi peeps-

    Okay, I've met a lovely guy- Canadian actuallly, and we seem to get on, but I'm really. Getting neurotic. We have been on a date, seem to get on and text and chat. I worry that he's going off me by not replying to a text or that if we chat on the phone he sounds offish, when hrs most prob just tired.

    I don't wanna sabotage this, tho I know its inevitable sometimes when you begoin to date as I'm having to learn quickly how to do all this.

    How do I stop being neurotic, just relax and also just do this without anxiety? Its really daunting cos I have had dating failures before. Grrrrr
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    If he doesn't reply to a text in the morning/midday, wait a good few hours (until evening) to text him again.
    If he doesn't reply in the evening, wait until the next day.

    Keep texting to a minimum if he isn't replying.


    Then, when he does reply, don't reply again immediately. Give it a while, so that it shows that you're "busy" and not obsessing about him texting you back.


    Trust me on this, I have been in your position many times.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2011 1:59 PM GMT
    Sounds like your friendship is still in its infancy, so anything could happen...

    If you really want to reduce your anxiety levels, you're going to have to reassess your expectations of this guy: it's best to approach a new relationship with almost NO expectations, as they tend to warp your perception of reality... so that's a good place to start making changes.

    Also, placing less emphasis on electronic communication and spending more time with him in person (if possible) will help reduce your stress levels, too. Body language takes a lot of the guesswork out of the dating equation; makes it much easier for you to figure out whether he's (1) interested in you, or (2) actually worth your time.

    Good luck mate - hope it works out! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    A Canadian?!??!? Well, I never!!! icon_wink.gif

    Hmm, actually, this sounds quite promising. All you can do is relax and enjoy it for what it is - and try to stay in the moment, not project into the future. I know, I know, easier said than done. If it helps, think of it as an important role. You can do it!

    blactor saidIts really daunting cos I have had dating failures before. Grrrrr


    You are not alone in this. As Dan Savage says, every relationship fails - until one doesn't.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    Anduru saidIf he doesn't reply to a text in the morning/midday, wait a good few hours (until evening) to text him again.
    If he doesn't reply in the evening, wait until the next day.

    Keep texting to a minimum if he isn't replying.


    Then, when he does reply, don't reply again immediately. Give it a while, so that it shows that you're "busy" and not obsessing about him texting you back.


    Trust me on this, I have been in your position many times.


    Andrew, BRILLIANT advice. thanks


    icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    Do be careful. Don't blow it with this guy if you really like him. I'm saying it cause I've done this mistake once. I learned quickly though from it. Some people are not texters, and some are slower at showing their affection or interest. I was 19 when I learned this. I texted this guy all the time but he was busy. And it started to annoy him. Of course, I wasn't saying mean things but I was texting way too much that it got him pissed with me. Since then, we've sorta humored over that time and he told me his anxiety story over a guy he once liked. Wow! He was really bad. He would text this guy so much that the guy had to change his number, and even then he was able to find it or even find where he worked... Don't become crazy... hehe. Relax and show him that you can handle yourself. Stay calm, don't think and don't worry. If you have time on your hands, you need to find yourself something to do. =D