Do You Buddy Listing With or Without a Message First?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 2:53 PM GMT
    What's the RJ etiquette for buddy listing? Do people normally buddy list others without sending a message or send a message first and get to know them. I think some people don't send messages because they don't get replied to but that might be a sign not to buddy list that guy...

    Just wondering.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 20, 2011 3:31 PM GMT
    I try to share a few short messages with the guy and then if I've managed to make him laugh or at least smile, I ask him if I can add him to my buddy list in hopes of starting a friendship. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    Would you friend request someone on facebook without knowing them first?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2011 9:39 PM GMT
    / Nope, never did that.

    A few people buddy listed me without messaging me and chatting so I was wondering maybe things are different here on RJ.
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    Apr 20, 2011 9:41 PM GMT
    Buddy Listing =/= Friend Request

    A lot of guys mistakenly use the Buddy List feature as "oh you look cool let's be friends!!". Buddy List is a way to keep a contact list of guys you're already friends with or at least acquainted through a few emails or IM's.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 8:22 AM GMT
    Pretty much on point with the general consensus. I never buddy list without have has a conversation or two with someone or email exchange. I have had some buddy list me because of forum posts and a couple when I participated in chat.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Apr 21, 2011 8:36 AM GMT
    I'll hot list someone w/out knowing them or messaging them. But not buddy list. I like to talk to them first. Atleast get to know their name. Others have buddy listed me and I don't even know them.
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    Apr 21, 2011 8:48 AM GMT


    On RJ as the Buddy list system is '2 part' i.e. both people have to add each other to become mutual friends, then it doesn't bother me.

    I do find it strange though when people whom I've never spoken with buddy list me, each to their own.
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    Apr 21, 2011 8:49 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidBuddy Listing =/= Friend Request

    A lot of guys mistakenly use the Buddy List feature as "oh you look cool let's be friends!!". Buddy List is a way to keep a contact list of guys you're already friends with or at least acquainted through a few emails or IM's.

    This.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 8:52 AM GMT
    I generally only 'buddy list' when I feel we have some rapport. That usually takes a few message for me. And interesting ones at that.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 21, 2011 8:53 AM GMT
    I usually buddy list someone I noticed before in forums discussions, and we probably share same/similar interests ...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 9:44 AM GMT
    Nope. I actually talk to people first before thinking about buddylisting them and i actually do expect the same otherwise I just ignore the request.

    Even after talking I still ask if they want to be friends. Call it a courtesy thing. Some people just lack tact and balls and, in my opinion, causally fling the words "buddy" or "friend" too quickly without actually living up to the words and their meaning. They just click the buttons without even giving pause for thought and then get mad/butt hurt when the people they so randomly requested without trying to know don't reciprocate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    We get buddy-listed on occasion as a first message. This is fine. We don't reciprocate the buddy-list back. Instead, we send a message and if we hit it off we buddy list them back.

    On a couple of occasions we've buddy listed them back without emails because we've already been heavily interacting on topics.

    Usually we exchange messages before buddy-listing someone when we're initiating it.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 1:48 PM GMT
    Do you call complete strangers on the street your buddies without ever talking to them?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 1:49 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidDo you call complete strangers on the street your buddies without ever talking to them?



    When someone sends a buddy list request, it's that only, a request. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 1:52 PM GMT
    i think it's weird to buddy list some you don't know. I pretty much block them unless there was at least a genuine effort of some kind.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    Ehanson saidWhat's the RJ etiquette for buddy listing? Do people normally buddy list others without sending a message or send a message first and get to know them. I think some people don't send messages because they don't get replied to but that might be a sign not to buddy list that guy...

    Just wondering.


    Buddy listing always begins with an exchange of messages. How can you become a "buddy" without ever speaking?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    No, but I hotlist like a mofo.

    On a less reputable site, I use Friends for studly profiles only because there's not a hotlist feature available.
  • Serch85

    Posts: 154

    Apr 21, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    I made the mistake of buddying ppl without speaking to them (sorry for those whom I did that), but it is a bit rude to do that... the whole idea of buddy list someone is because is someone who's actually a buddy... how can u consider a buddy of someone u don't know how he is??? again my apologies to those I buddy listed without getting to know them...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    no,but i do get buddy listed from guys i have never talked too icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 2:47 PM GMT
    Mostly after some conversation by email, but once in a while after some exchanges within forums.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    Usually i do a Photo comment .. if the guy answer ... i try to talk to him if he continued msging me then i buddy list him