So...I met this guy..

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    Apr 22, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    I have no fucking idea what section this fits in. Sex/Adult, Diseases, or here.

    Basically, I met a guy. We click like crazy, mutually attracted to each other and he's not a D-bag. We've been getting to know each other for a bit, and finally the topic of sex came up. We both agreed we want to rape each other, BUT he dropped a pretty big bomb.

    He told me that he has HPV AND Herpes type 1. I'm the poster child of paranoia regarding STI's, and I have no idea what to do now. I DEFINITELY appreciate his honesty, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I read that condoms don't protect you against HPV, and Herpes type 1 is transmitted easily.

    The connection is beyond great, so I'm not completely sure I want to break it off. I'm making this thread because I want to read your opinions, and maybe hear from some people who have HPV and/or Herpes type 1. Any feedback would be great. What would you do guys?
  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    Apr 22, 2011 6:01 AM GMT
    How do people get HPV?
    HPV is passed on through genital contact, most often during vaginal and anal sex. HPV may also be passed on during oral sex and genital-to-genital contact. HPV can be passed on between straight and same-sex partners—even when the infected partner has no signs or symptoms.

    A person can have HPV even if years have passed since he or she had sexual contact with an infected person. Most infected persons do not realize they are infected or that they are passing the virus on to a sex partner. It is also possible to get more than one type of HPV.

    How can people prevent HPV?
    There are several ways that people can lower their chances of getting HPV:

    Vaccines can protect males and females against some of the most common types of HPV. These vaccines are given in three shots. It is important to get all three doses to get the best protection. The vaccines are most effective when given before a person's first sexual contact, when he or she could be exposed to HPV.
    Girls and women: Two vaccines (Cervarix and Gardasil) are available to protect females against the types of HPV that cause most cervical cancers. One of these vaccines (Gardasil) also protects against most genital warts. Both vaccines are recommended for 11 and 12 year-old girls, and for females 13 through 26 years of age, who did not get any or all of the shots when they were younger. These vaccines can also be given to girls as young as 9 years of age. It is recommended that females get the same vaccine brand for all three doses, whenever possible.
    Boys and men: One available vaccine (Gardasil) protects males against most genital warts. This vaccine is available for boys and men, 9 through 26 years of age.
    For those who choose to be sexually active, condoms may lower the risk of HPV. To be most effective, they should be used with every sex act, from start to finish. Condoms may also lower the risk of developing HPV-related diseases, such as genital warts and cervical cancer. But HPV can infect areas that are not covered by a condom - so condoms may not fully protect against HPV.
    People can also lower their chances of getting HPV by being in a faithful relationship with one partner; limiting their number of sex partners; and choosing a partner who has had no or few prior sex partners. But even people with only one lifetime sex partner can get HPV. And it may not be possible to determine if a partner who has been sexually active in the past is currently infected. That's why the only sure way to prevent HPV is to avoid all sexual activity.
    from http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm
    How do people get genital herpes?
    HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.

    HSV-1 can cause genital herpes, but it more commonly causes infections of the mouth and lips, so-called “fever blisters.” HSV-1 infection of the genitals can be caused by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with a person who has HSV-1 infection. Genital HSV-1 outbreaks recur less regularly than genital HSV-2 outbreaks.

    What are the signs and symptoms of genital herpes?
    Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. However, if signs and symptoms occur during the first outbreak, they can be quite pronounced. The first outbreak usually occurs within two weeks after the virus is transmitted, and the sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Other signs and symptoms during the primary episode may include a second crop of sores, and flu-like symptoms, including fever and swollen glands. However, most individuals with HSV-2 infection never have sores, or they have very mild signs that they do not even notice or that they mistake for insect bites or another skin condition.

    People diagnosed with a first episode of genital herpes can expect to have several (typically four or five) outbreaks (symptomatic recurrences) within a year. Over time these recurrences usually decrease in frequency. It is possible that a person becomes aware of the "first episode" years after the infection is acquired.

    Is there a treatment for herpes?
    There is no treatment that can cure herpes, but antiviral medications can shorten and prevent outbreaks during the period of time the person takes the medication. In addition, daily suppressive therapy for symptomatic herpes can reduce transmission to partners.

    How can herpes be prevented?
    The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.

    Genital ulcer diseases can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes.

    Persons with herpes should abstain from sexual activity with uninfected partners when lesions or other symptoms of herpes are present. It is important to know that even if a person does not have any symptoms he or she can still infect sex partners. Sex partners of infected persons should be advised that they may become infected and they should use condoms to reduce the risk. Sex partners can seek testing to determine if they are infected with HSV. A positive HSV-2 blood test most likely indicates a genital herpes infection.
    from http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm


    Biggest bit of information, both diseases can be spread regardless of whether or not the affected person has visible signs/symptoms of the virus.

    As for what I'd do, depends on the situation and how many precautions you are both willing to take when having sex. No sex is completely safe, but seeing as these viruses spread quite readily, you may always feel like you are putting yourself at risk for contracting either or both viruses. For me it comes down to a "what if"...What if this doesn't work out and I contract either disease and have to than explain this to my next potential partner, as much as people say they are OK with it, I think it may limit future endeavors if this doesn't work out.
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    Apr 22, 2011 6:29 AM GMT
    WEll, Herpes 1 is extremely common. I believe I got it from my mother. I do always have a stock pile of acyclovir on hand for when I do get an outbreak. It doesn't just occur on the lips. I've gotten outbreaks on my chin and on my eye.

    For the past ten years I've only averaged one outbreak per year. If I get it within the first couple hours, It won't even be visible. Mine are triggered by too much sun, stress, and not enough sleep. Transmission is 'supposedly' only from open sores which never occur when you have back back up meds and warning signs from your bodyicon_smile.gif

    It's a great way to get lip balm though. Just borrow some from someone else and tell them you have herpes simplex 1 after you use theirs. Works every time because people are ignorant.

    HPV is something that has been around for so many years. I did have some spots removed last year. So therefore I do have it as well. With the number of men I've slept with who knows where it was contracted. I suspect my ex.

    Regardless, there are so many types (200+) of HPV. Most do not know they carry it or will never show symptoms. There's not much factual information out there that it does anything. It could lead to certain types of cancers, but so can genetics. Does that mean that we stop reproducing because your baby could grow up and get cancer?

    Both are not life threatening. You would be amazed at the number of people that have Herpes Simplex 2 and would never tell you. Just visit Hmate.com

    Kudos to this guy that told you ahead of time. I feel with these two diseases being so miniscule it's kind of unnecessary.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    Apr 22, 2011 11:27 AM GMT
    I don't know what I would do. I just wanted to say however it was really nice of that guy to tell you he had hpv and herpes up front. I don't think many guys would actually do that! Whatever you do, best wishes to you man.
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    Apr 22, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    That's really tough icon_sad.gif Whatever you decide to do make sure you look at all the info and are informed.

    Myself, I look at "you're only 18" and at this point, are either of those things something you are willing to live with from this point on? I wouldn't be, but that's me, and no one else can decide for you.
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    Apr 22, 2011 1:08 PM GMT
    Someone said you are 18.... when I was 18 I used to want to hump anything that walked. heck even humped things that didn't even walk. be careful about the decision you make as it could have an impact for the rest of your life.
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    Apr 22, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    If I were you, I'd check out the CDC's website an educate yourself about both diseases.

    Genital HPV Infection - Fact Sheet

    http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm

    Genital Herpes

    http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/default.htm
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Apr 22, 2011 1:38 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidWEll, Herpes 1 is extremely common. I believe I got it from my mother. I do always have a stock pile of acyclovir on hand for when I do get an outbreak. It doesn't just occur on the lips. I've gotten outbreaks on my chin and on my eye.

    For the past ten years I've only averaged one outbreak per year. If I get it within the first couple hours, It won't even be visible. Mine are triggered by too much sun, stress, and not enough sleep. Transmission is 'supposedly' only from open sores which never occur when you have back back up meds and warning signs from your bodyicon_smile.gif

    It's a great way to get lip balm though. Just borrow some from someone else and tell them you have herpes simplex 1 after you use theirs. Works every time because people are ignorant.

    HPV is something that has been around for so many years. I did have some spots removed last year. So therefore I do have it as well. With the number of men I've slept with who knows where it was contracted. I suspect my ex.

    Regardless, there are so many types (200+) of HPV. Most do not know they carry it or will never show symptoms. There's not much factual information out there that it does anything. It could lead to certain types of cancers, but so can genetics. Does that mean that we stop reproducing because your baby could grow up and get cancer?

    Both are not life threatening. You would be amazed at the number of people that have Herpes Simplex 2 and would never tell you. Just visit Hmate.com

    Kudos to this guy that told you ahead of time. I feel with these two diseases being so miniscule it's kind of unnecessary.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Apr 22, 2011 1:41 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidWEll, Herpes 1 is extremely common. I believe I got it from my mother. I do always have a stock pile of acyclovir on hand for when I do get an outbreak. It doesn't just occur on the lips. I've gotten outbreaks on my chin and on my eye.

    For the past ten years I've only averaged one outbreak per year. If I get it within the first couple hours, It won't even be visible. Mine are triggered by too much sun, stress, and not enough sleep. Transmission is 'supposedly' only from open sores which never occur when you have back back up meds and warning signs from your bodyicon_smile.gif

    It's a great way to get lip balm though. Just borrow some from someone else and tell them you have herpes simplex 1 after you use theirs. Works every time because people are ignorant.

    HPV is something that has been around for so many years. I did have some spots removed last year. So therefore I do have it as well. With the number of men I've slept with who knows where it was contracted. I suspect my ex.

    Regardless, there are so many types (200+) of HPV. Most do not know they carry it or will never show symptoms. There's not much factual information out there that it does anything. It could lead to certain types of cancers, but so can genetics. Does that mean that we stop reproducing because your baby could grow up and get cancer?

    Both are not life threatening. You would be amazed at the number of people that have Herpes Simplex 2 and would never tell you. Just visit Hmate.com

    Kudos to this guy that told you ahead of time. I feel with these two diseases being so miniscule it's kind of unnecessary.



    Seriously, I think the stats for herpes 1 is like 80-90% of the population have it. I got it from my parents too. I know it's directly related to chicken pox so not sure if that can cause herpes simplex 1...I need to look that up. It's just that canker sore you get every now and then.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 22, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    bro, i do not know what to tell you on this one. i can say for myself that i always said that would be the one disease that i think that i would steer clear of only because there is no cure and while it can be treated you can still pass or catch the disease. i couldn't do it but i am not in your situation so i do not have to make that tough decision. anyhow good luck buddy and keep me posted
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    Apr 22, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    This is an awesome post for us to discuss. Again, I have really personal experience with this. I had an x with hpv and an x with hiv. I am neg for both. I used protection. When, someone tells you they have an std, it says two things. 1.they care about u enough to expose themselves to you in such a vulnerable way. Its something they cannot control. When we reject them on these issues, it really hurts them,because they can't change it. If you really care for him, get the vaccines and use a condom always. Limit ur sex to when you both feel well. Don't turn down agreat guy out of fear.
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    Apr 22, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    DONT DO IT! There is always of chance of catching it. Rather be safe than sorry bro.
  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    Apr 22, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    You both agreed you want to RAPE each other?! icon_surprised.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Apr 22, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    Avron88 saidYou both agreed you want to RAPE each other?! icon_surprised.gif



    "rape each other" meaning...barebacking, with no lube or relaxing/loosening up foreplay?

    icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Avron88 saidYou both agreed you want to RAPE each other?! icon_surprised.gif



    "rape each other" meaning...barebacking, with no lube or relaxing/loosening up foreplay?

    icon_cry.gif


    I think he just means jump each others bones
  • LuvRockett

    Posts: 8

    Apr 22, 2011 3:11 PM GMT
    Avron88 saidYou both agreed you want to RAPE each other?! icon_surprised.gif


    Meaning they are both horny as hell for each other...
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:30 PM GMT
    LuvRockett said
    Avron88 saidYou both agreed you want to RAPE each other?! icon_surprised.gif


    Meaning they are both horny as hell for each other...


    Rape probably isn't the best word to use mane.... just saying.

    I'm gonna say you should thank him for his honesty and be his friend but there's plenty of people out there (I hate saying that because having an STI does not necessarily make someone a bad person but I know I would be scared off). If you decide you still want to get frisky with this guy use plenty of protection and always always always get tested. Best of luck.

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    Apr 22, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    Staple, how long have you known this man for?
    1 month?
    1 year?
    2 years?

    I would never get into a relationship with someone who has any form of STI or STD because it shows me that he was not careful about who he slept with, etc...

    It shows a lot about the person`s character.

    Yes, he can be a FRIEND and a CLOSE one at that... but to be my partner, nooooo... he needs to be clean.

    also, in before all the people who say:

    ''Well, what if your man sleeps around after getting in a relationship with you and he gets an std...''

    to that I would dump his ass (For cheating) and say:

    ''he deserved all the stds he gets... that`s his fault for sleeping around''

    So, I hope you just have a good amount of time to think about this Staple. There are many guys who have given you great advice, so just take what you want from it.

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    Apr 22, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidStaple, how long have you known this man for?
    1 month?
    1 year?
    2 years?

    I would never get into a relationship with someone who has any form of STI or STD because it shows me that he was not careful about who he slept with, etc...

    It shows a lot about the person`s character.

    Yes, he can be a FRIEND and a CLOSE one at that... but to be my partner, nooooo... he needs to be clean.

    also, in before all the people who say:

    ''Well, what if your man sleeps around after getting in a relationship with you and he gets an std...''

    to that I would dump his ass (For cheating) and say:

    ''he deserved all the stds he gets... that`s his fault for sleeping around''

    So, I hope you just have a good amount of time to think about this Staple. There are many guys who have given you great advice, so just take what you want from it.



    I dont think you realize how easy HPV is contracted. Ive always had safe sex, and I got HPV because someone touched his dick to my ass during the foreplay once. Yea, its really that easy.

    That being said, HPV is a very common virus to get. There are over 200 strains of it, and 1% of those strains are permanent (thats 2 for those who are mathematically challenged.) The body clears HPV after 2 years of contracting it. The only issue is that we cant test for the virus, we can only watch for the symptoms. Many people will outbreak with warts once, get them treated, and never have an outbreak again.

    Because we cant test, there is no way of knowing which strain you have at the moment.

    Also, I believe it is 90% of people have had, have, or will have HPV in their lifetime. And, if you live in an urban setting, 50% of the guys currently have HPV.

    If someone told me they have HPV (if they tell me), I wouldnt really care, everyone here probably will get it in their life.

    Now Herpes, thats a different story.
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:55 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    _Mohammed_ saidStaple, how long have you known this man for?
    1 month?
    1 year?
    2 years?

    I would never get into a relationship with someone who has any form of STI or STD because it shows me that he was not careful about who he slept with, etc...

    It shows a lot about the person`s character.

    Yes, he can be a FRIEND and a CLOSE one at that... but to be my partner, nooooo... he needs to be clean.

    also, in before all the people who say:

    ''Well, what if your man sleeps around after getting in a relationship with you and he gets an std...''

    to that I would dump his ass (For cheating) and say:

    ''he deserved all the stds he gets... that`s his fault for sleeping around''

    So, I hope you just have a good amount of time to think about this Staple. There are many guys who have given you great advice, so just take what you want from it.



    I dont think you realize how easy HPV is contracted. Ive always had safe sex, and I got HPV because someone touched his dick to my ass during the foreplay once. Yea, its really that easy.

    That being said, HPV is a very common virus to get. There are over 200 strains of it, and 1% of those strains are permanent (thats 2 for those who are mathematically challenged.) The body clears HPV after 2 years of contracting it. The only issue is that we cant test for the virus, we can only watch for the symptoms. Many people will outbreak with warts once, get them treated, and never have an outbreak again.

    Because we cant test, there is no way of knowing which strain you have at the moment.

    Also, I believe it is 90% of people have had, have, or will have HPV in their lifetime. And, if you live in an urban setting, 50% of the guys currently have HPV.

    If someone told me they have HPV (if they tell me), I wouldnt really care, everyone here probably will get it in their life.

    Now Herpes, thats a different story.


    Oh of course, I agree but ONLY if you engage in that form of behaviour.

    It works two ways:

    a) he either tells me up front what he has and we STILL get tested together before anything.
    or
    b) we get tested together before anything.

    so either way, we will be taking full blood tests for all the diseases or infections that CAN be tested for (from herpes to HIV to chlamydia to eveyrhting else in between)...

    I urge Staple to think well about this because it is life changing... herpes especially.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 4:08 PM GMT
    [quote]
    I dont think you realize how easy HPV is contracted. Ive always had safe sex, and I got HPV because someone touched his dick to my ass during the foreplay once. Yea, its really that easy.

    That being said, HPV is a very common virus to get. There are over 200 strains of it, and 1% of those strains are permanent (thats 2 for those who are mathematically challenged.) The body clears HPV after 2 years of contracting it. The only issue is that we cant test for the virus, we can only watch for the symptoms. Many people will outbreak with warts once, get them treated, and never have an outbreak again.

    Because we cant test, there is no way of knowing which strain you have at the moment.

    Also, I believe it is 90% of people have had, have, or will have HPV in their lifetime. And, if you live in an urban setting, 50% of the guys currently have HPV.

    If someone told me they have HPV (if they tell me), I wouldnt really care, everyone here probably will get it in their life.

    Now Herpes, thats a different story.

    Oh of course, I agree but ONLY if you engage in that form of behaviour.

    It works two ways:

    a) he either tells me up front what he has and we STILL get tested together before anything.
    or
    b) we get tested together before anything.

    so either way, we will be taking full blood tests for all the diseases or infections that CAN be tested for (from herpes to HIV to chlamydia to eveyrhting else in between)...

    I urge Staple to think well about this because it is life changing... herpes especially.


    [/quote]

    Only if you engage in sex? Im confused, when did exploration become so sinful? And when did RJ become full of Victorian era ladies?

    At the end of the day, the only way to prevent yourself from getting an STI is to not have sex, much like the only way to prevent yourself from getting hit by a car is to not cross the street.

    Life is about balance. Yea, don't go engage in bareback sex, that greatly increases your chance of getting something, but at the same time don't lock yourself in a room and tape up the windows to prevent yourself from getting something. You will never figure out what to like, let alone know how to have sex when you meet someone special.
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    Apr 22, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    It's herpes simplex 1. It's not considered an STD. It's as common as brown eyes.
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    Apr 22, 2011 4:26 PM GMT
    Chainers^Only if you engage in sex? Im confused, when did exploration become so sinful? And when did RJ become full of Victorian era ladies?

    At the end of the day, the only way to prevent yourself from getting an STI is to not have sex, much like the only way to prevent yourself from getting hit by a car is to not cross the street.

    Life is about balance. Yea, don't go engage in bareback sex, that greatly increases your chance of getting something, but at the same time don't lock yourself in a room and tape up the windows to prevent yourself from getting something. You will never figure out what to like, let alone know how to have sex when you meet someone special.


    There is diversity among us Chainers...

    and if you want to consider me someone who came from the Victorian era then so be it, it doesn`t really matter anyways because it is not your life that is placing restrictions around things the way I place around mine.

    3 months in my relationship with my ex, I said I need to see your test results IF you want to continue this relationship..and because he had nothing to hide, he showed it to me and he was clean, and we continued on with our relationship.

    Once the trust was built up high enough, we decided to have sex (with condoms), and because we both knew we were clean, it made us much more comfortable.

    We got tested 3 months again after and we were both clean again.

    Yes, in a span of 18 months, we got tested about 3 or 4 times....

    but I am glad we did, because we are talking about our health here.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that we all have our own views on what is crossing the limits - especially on sensitive topics such as stds, stis, getting tested etc...

    I just hope Staple_ makes a well-informed decision. I know he will, I have talked to him before and he is pretty smart icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 22, 2011 4:31 PM GMT
    You can get vaccinated against HPV. I've also read that by a certain age, 80% of men will be carriers of HPV. It's a bigger deal for women because it can cause cervical cancer.

    Herpes type I is a cold sore, so IMO, that's not a big deal.

    Just go get your shot, play safe until then, and you can eventually rape each other.
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    Apr 22, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    1) He's awesome for telling you.

    2) Both are so damn common, you've probably been exposed before and not know it.

    3) Just be safe, that's all