Don't get butthurt.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 8:47 AM GMT
    A completely unattractive older guy (over 35 at least) messaged me on a dating website. I looked at his profile and wasn't attracted, so I deleted his message.
    I logged out and the next time I logged in he had sent me another message saying "a simple thanks and NO would have been sufficient."

    I'm sitting here thinking uh, sorry that you're completely disgusting, would you like a pity fuck? icon_neutral.gif

    I've messaged people before and if they don't reply I just accept it and move on. Clearly they aren't interested, so why bother trying to contact them further?
    Sure, it's ~rude~, but if you care then why the fuck would you want to date someone rude anyways? Move on wit yo life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 9:06 AM GMT
    THIS.

    Old people flip shit when they get rejected so much more often than young people. It's a generational thing I think.

    in b4 flame war.
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    Apr 22, 2011 9:19 AM GMT
    FearTheFall saidTHIS.

    Old people flip shit when they get rejected so much more often than young people. It's a generational thing I think.

    in b4 flame war.

    Seriously!
    I told the guy not to get so butthurt, and he was all "haha you young ones are so hilariouss!!! im not buttHURT!!"
    so I sent him this definition,
    Butthurt: Getting your feelings hurt, being offended or getting all bent out of shape because of something petty or stupid.

    then he told me that not saying thanks after recieving a compliment is
    33campf.jpg

    and called out my age, using that as an excuse for me being "pretentious enough to think that [he's] interested in [me]"

    I told him that the internet is a new generation of etiquette, and that real life rules generally don't apply, and then told him that if he doesn't like it he should get off the computer and see how 21 year olds react when he compliments them in person.
    I was also like "Yes, I'm 21, and you're what, 40-something?"
    I don't even have a problem with age, but this guy is fucking greasy looking and overweight. I don't understand why unattractive people in general, regardless of age, have this idea in their head that anyone out of their league would give them the time of day. I've ignored overweight, unattractive 20 year olds who have messaged me saying "HEY I GO TO UR COLLEGE TOO MAYBE I'VE SEEN U AROUND CAMPUS".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 9:27 AM GMT
    Yeah, I get messages on A4A all the time from people who are, well, below my league asking if I'm "looking" though I log in once a week for lulz - it's like, no! And they keep trying. Occasionally they get pissy, at least the queeny old ones and the incredibly butthurt "I-beez-a-minority-if-youz-isn't-attracted-to-me-youz-beez-rayciss" crowd - even though it's not their race I find unattractive because IDC about race.

    I say what my preference is, like, if it isn't you, it isn't you. A young, muscular guy shouldn't have to apologize for not being attracted to a fatass who could be his dad, and the fatass should realize to not send lewd propositions, often involving money.
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    Apr 22, 2011 9:29 AM GMT
    Anduru saidA completely unattractive older guy (over 35 at least) messaged me on a dating website. I looked at his profile and wasn't attracted, so I deleted his message.
    I logged out and the next time I logged in he had sent me another message saying "a simple thanks and NO would have been sufficient."

    I'm sitting here thinking uh, sorry that you're completely disgusting, would you like a pity fuck? icon_neutral.gif

    I've messaged people before and if they don't reply I just accept it and move on. Clearly they aren't interested, so why bother trying to contact them further?
    Sure, it's ~rude~, but if you care then why the fuck would you want to date someone rude anyways? Move on wit yo life.



    Okay, an older guy reached' out to you because he wanted to bone.
    You (in turn) rejected him flat out. He sent you another email that was on 'Senility Boulevard', got pissed, and duly made sure you knew it.


    Its ahh bit nutty to think that one day when we reach that " completely disgusting ", the same fortune could fall upon so many door-steps hmmmicon_idea.gificon_exclaim.gif


    Case in point here: too 'whatever' extent or degree, it will happen to most people wanting to look as good as you, Anduru, and try to capture a glimmer of youth icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 22, 2011 9:45 AM GMT
    Salutay21 saidIts ahh bit nutty to think that one day when we reach that " completely disgusting ", the same fortune could fall upon so many door-steps hmmmicon_idea.gificon_exclaim.gif

    Case in point here: too 'whatever' extent or degree, it will happen to most people wanting to look as good as you, Anduru, and try to capture a glimmer of youth icon_wink.gif

    but even now, at the prime of my youth, I don't bother messaging people if I KNOW they're way out of my league.

    Thanks. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 10:12 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    Salutay21 saidIts ahh bit nutty to think that one day when we reach that " completely disgusting ", the same fortune could fall upon so many door-steps hmmmicon_idea.gificon_exclaim.gif

    Case in point here: too 'whatever' extent or degree, it will happen to most people wanting to look as good as you, Anduru, and try to capture a glimmer of youth icon_wink.gif

    but even now, at the prime of my youth, I don't bother messaging people if I KNOW they're way out of my league.

    Thanks. ;)



    That's just it though, you may feel that you are 'out of bounds' but the 'Batter you might had otherwise turned down, could of been your 'Home-run' ! icon_smile.gif

    In other words: Yeaah many are arguably 'out of someones league' but that doesn't necessarily denote that the reverse is the same ( That someone liking you or feeling THAT YOU are in THEIR league..... )


    I mean for f*ck sake....I acknowledge that its insanely rare.... But yeaa its been known to happen, Anduru icon_idea.gificon_cool.gif
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    Apr 22, 2011 10:21 AM GMT
    Salutay21 said
    Anduru said
    Salutay21 saidIts ahh bit nutty to think that one day when we reach that " completely disgusting ", the same fortune could fall upon so many door-steps hmmmicon_idea.gificon_exclaim.gif

    Case in point here: too 'whatever' extent or degree, it will happen to most people wanting to look as good as you, Anduru, and try to capture a glimmer of youth icon_wink.gif

    but even now, at the prime of my youth, I don't bother messaging people if I KNOW they're way out of my league.

    Thanks. ;)



    That's just it though, you may feel that you are 'out of bounds' but the 'Batter you might had otherwise turned down, could of been your 'Home-run' ! icon_smile.gif

    In other words: Yeaah many are arguably 'out of someones league' but that doesn't necessarily denote that the reverse is the same ( That someone liking you or feeling THAT YOU are in THEIR league..... )


    I mean for f*ck sake....I acknowledge that its insanely rare.... But yeaa its been known to happen, Anduru icon_idea.gificon_cool.gif


    this!
    couldn`t have said it better myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 10:22 AM GMT
    Salutay21 said
    Anduru saidA completely unattractive older guy (over 35 at least) messaged me on a dating website. I looked at his profile and wasn't attracted, so I deleted his message.
    I logged out and the next time I logged in he had sent me another message saying "a simple thanks and NO would have been sufficient."

    I'm sitting here thinking uh, sorry that you're completely disgusting, would you like a pity fuck? icon_neutral.gif

    I've messaged people before and if they don't reply I just accept it and move on. Clearly they aren't interested, so why bother trying to contact them further?
    Sure, it's ~rude~, but if you care then why the fuck would you want to date someone rude anyways? Move on wit yo life.



    Okay, an older guy reached' out to you because he wanted to bone.
    You (in turn) rejected him flat out.


    I didn't know not responding meant complete and utter rejection. I wonder what "No, you are fat and stupid and ugly and no one will ever love you" would be... like a ritual stoning or something?
  • Timbales

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    Apr 22, 2011 2:17 PM GMT
    my opinion

    1) It was rude of him to just assume that you weren't interested when you didn't reply and send that message. Who knows what you had going on? Maybe you were thinking about it.

    2) Unless his original message was written offensively, it was rude to not respond with a 'thanks, bu no thanks'. It would have taken less than a minute.
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    Apr 22, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    Sounds like you get this often. Wouldn't it just be easier to reply with a simple "no"? Its just two clicks and two keystrokes, and the guy will most likely get off your nuts instead of trying to lecture you about manners. It works (90% of the time) for me. icon_idea.gif
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:00 PM GMT
    Timbales saidmy opinion

    1) It was rude of him to just assume that you weren't interested when you didn't reply and send that message. Who knows what you had going on? Maybe you were thinking about it.

    2) Unless his original message was written offensively, it was rude to not respond with a 'thanks, bu no thanks'. It would have taken less than a minute.


    Perfect.

    Anduru, you're a really cute and funny guy and all, but, um, 21 year olds didn't invent the Internet and I don't know why they get to reinvent ALL the rules.

    As an old guy who can't always figure out how to use the Interwebs I can't manage to embed this clip because I couldn't find it on Youtube, but please watch. In the meantime I will go gather my coupons for the 4 pm dinner special at Denny's. It's only 11 am but I'd better start driving soon or I'll never get there. I wish I could see over the hood.
    http://jonnodotcom.tumblr.com/post/3114150708/patty-hearst-in-serial-mom-1994-fashion-has
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:24 PM GMT
    He said
    I saidNo, I'm 21, which I'm sure is much worse.
    and you're what, 40-something?

    If I'm so rude why would you bother messaging me to tell me? The internet is a whole new generation of etiquette, and the real life rules generally don't apply. If you can't handle it, get off the computer and go compliment some 21 year olds in person and see how they react.


    .. i will have to google the RULES on that new generation of etiquette... and YES i could be your father "40 something that is" yet agian MY SON's i say that plural cause i have two DO and WOULD know the meaning of RESPECT in carrying a chat conversation, as i taught them well..... SO forgive me if i had a momentary lapse of reason i forget we were in cyberspace and this is NOT REAL LIFE lol..and you are probably NOT REAL but a figment OUR imagination ... mmmm i must be chating with HAL " a computer" lol WOW at least i acheived what i set forth to do, to carry a conversation with you and whether or NOT you GET MY POINT is irrilevant ..OH BUT u will one day im sure




    ^^^ these are the 2 most recent messages. i haven't even read his reply yet but it looks like it's stupid enough that i can already dismiss it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    OK, if he can't even figure out when to use capital letters and punctuation marks - in txt spk or real English - Miss Manners might give you a pass. This time.
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:35 PM GMT
    hazardous said
    Salutay21 said
    Anduru saidA completely unattractive older guy (over 35 at least) messaged me on a dating website. I looked at his profile and wasn't attracted, so I deleted his message.
    I logged out and the next time I logged in he had sent me another message saying "a simple thanks and NO would have been sufficient."

    I'm sitting here thinking uh, sorry that you're completely disgusting, would you like a pity fuck? icon_neutral.gif

    I've messaged people before and if they don't reply I just accept it and move on. Clearly they aren't interested, so why bother trying to contact them further?
    Sure, it's ~rude~, but if you care then why the fuck would you want to date someone rude anyways? Move on wit yo life.



    Okay, an older guy reached' out to you because he wanted to bone.
    You (in turn) rejected him flat out.


    I didn't know not responding meant complete and utter rejection. I wonder what "No, you are fat and stupid and ugly and no one will ever love you" would be... like a ritual stoning or something?


    Common courtesy. icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    showme saidAnduru, you're a really cute and funny guy and all, but, um, 21 year olds didn't invent the Internet and I don't know why they get to reinvent ALL the rules.

    What age demographic knows how to use computers, smartphones, ipods, etc. the most?
    The newer generation of teens and young adults. 13-25 years old.

    Plus, the fact that he's basically a creepy old man doesn't help. If some greasy, overweight 40-something year old said "hey cutie" to me in person I would be creeped out and I would avoid him at all costs.
    Seriously though, THINK ABOUT IT. In real life, if you were young enough that you could still pass for 18, and a 40-something year old hit on you, what would YOU do?
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    Apr 22, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    Anduru saidSeriously though, THINK ABOUT IT. In real life, if you were young enough that you could still pass for 18, and a 40-something year old hit on you, what would YOU do?


    Are you saying I can't pass for 18? I am so so offended. Hmmph.

    If I were like what I was like when I was really 18, I'd flip out that such a skeevy old guy was hitting on me. Or get really drunk and take him up on it but feel like shit the next day. One of the two.

    If I were me today but just looked 18, I'd say, "Thanks, I'm so flattered, but you're not my type. Good luck, buddy!"

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    Apr 22, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    Timbales saidmy opinion

    1) It was rude of him to just assume that you weren't interested when you didn't reply and send that message. Who knows what you had going on? Maybe you were thinking about it.

    2) Unless his original message was written offensively, it was rude to not respond with a 'thanks, bu no thanks'. It would have taken less than a minute.



    It was rude of him....

    Many a times....I'm on my iPhone looking at messages.....and I want to be able to reply to the person after I've read their file and see if there was something in the file that caught my attention. Well...trying to read a RealJock profile on the iPhone ...and if you're on the bumpy bus. or Metro...etc...nearly impossible.





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    Apr 22, 2011 3:52 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidTHIS.

    Old people flip shit when they get rejected so much more often than young people. It's a generational thing I think.

    in b4 flame war.



    LOL. Yea, those old people. I hate it when they flip shit. icon_lol.gif


    * Not to much on RJ, but other sites, I don't even bother relying either if they are not fit...or if their pic is with sunglasses on, hat and pic taken from 20 feet.
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    Apr 22, 2011 4:59 PM GMT
    I wonder if in the "Real World" this guy would send out a hand-written letter without capitalization, eclipses every other sentence, blatant disregard for grammar, and "lol" sprinked throughout.

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    Apr 22, 2011 6:05 PM GMT
    Timbales saidmy opinion

    1) It was rude of him to just assume that you weren't interested when you didn't reply and send that message. Who knows what you had going on? Maybe you were thinking about it.

    2) Unless his original message was written offensively, it was rude to not respond with a 'thanks, bu no thanks'. It would have taken less than a minute.

    ^ This.

    I've been in Andruru's situation multiple times and each time I log off it's like, "New message" when I log back in. Except I say "You're probably a good guy, but I don't find you innately attractive. Please don't take offense." and it's usually someone bitching me out.

    I've had stragglers, people who simply cannot accept that I do not hook up... but truth is... I don't care what they have to say after that's been mentioned. I'll talk to them as a friend and let them know how I feel and if they continue to pursue, I don't respond after I've made my point.
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    Apr 22, 2011 6:19 PM GMT
    regardless of age or anything else, if someone wants to start dialog with drama, there's a block function for that.

    it's disingenuous of anyone who isn't in the same demographic (regardless of what it is) to act like they are unaware that people in a vastly different demographic might not want to extend outside their zone, esp if the other party is less experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 22, 2011 7:28 PM GMT
    Well you know what...by you responding and getting into a dialogue with him you are being just as trivial as he was.

    Yes, the internet is the new way of life in etiquette, which means you can just delete and block to infinite and that be the end of that.

    A lot of times, if someone messages me on adam4adam...I can look at their profile before I even open the message and if they are WAY off my type, I won't even bother to open the message.

    By responding, all you're doing is adding fuel to the flames. I've done it before, and used to. But it's pointless to even get all riled up about it. They 'want' a response...
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    Apr 23, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    showme saidAre you saying I can't pass for 18? I am so so offended. Hmmph.

    If I were like what I was like when I was really 18, I'd flip out that such a skeevy old guy was hitting on me. Or get really drunk and take him up on it but feel like shit the next day. One of the two.

    If I were me today but just looked 18, I'd say, "Thanks, I'm so flattered, but you're not my type. Good luck, buddy!"


    boy i already said you look 30 dang, don't beg for more.

    you basically just proved my point lol
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    Apr 23, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    Jasonfest saidI wonder if in the "Real World" this guy would send out a hand-written letter without capitalization, eclipses every other sentence, blatant disregard for grammar, and "lol" sprinked throughout.

    win