Are you honest when breaking up with a bf?

  • Profire

    Posts: 224

    Apr 22, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    When breaking up with a bf are you completely truthful or do you say things like "this just isn't working for me"?

    After dating someone for a few months and you realize there is something major that is a deal killer and its time to end it do you try to spare his feelings and be nice or do you tell all no matter how much it may hurt him?

    Every time I have ended a relationship I tend to sugarcoat why I am ending it to spare his feelings.
    Instead of saying "your too effeminate for me" or "I don't really find you attractive", etc I will usually say "I don't think I want to be in a relationship right now" or "this just isn't working for me".

    Should we be bluntly truthful or try to preserve his feelings?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 22, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    I simply disappear like Harry Houdini.icon_lol.gif Seriously, though, I make it as less painful as possible for the other guy. I don't think presenting the dumpee with an oral dissertation on why the relationship didn't work out really accomplishes anything if the relationship is irretrievably broken.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 22, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    Profire saidShould we be bluntly truthful or try to preserve his feelings?


    I've done both, but the time I said "this just isn't working for me," they demanded an explanation anyway, so I told them. I've also had people just disappear, and that was usually a "good riddance" feeling for me. I don't get along too well with cowards. I've never had someone be honest / truthful with me when they wanted to break up with me. Kinda sucks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 22, 2011 2:01 PM GMT
    For me it takes more than a few months to be considered a boyfriend. Last summer I was seeing someone, and I was very honest. I told him the top three things of why it wouldn't work; My sexual needs were not being met, I don't surround myself with people that talk about taking action and never attempt it, and we were too similar in financial matters and issues.

    Short, sweet. If someone can't handle honesty in a mature, effective fashion then they shouldn't be dating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 22, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    I sugar-coated it then realized I needed to give him a more direct answer. When I did that, that's when he started to bring up the negative things about me he would not think twice about. I liked it more when we first met and he was blunt. I guess I was hoping I'd eventually become more blunt as the relationship went on, but after awhile, he would just let things go.