Gay friend keeps blowing me off

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    Apr 23, 2011 1:07 AM GMT
    So I met this gay guy on my campus and we've started talking but ONLY as friends... I'm kinda shy so he was begging me to come hangout with him and his baseball team friends. So I did and everything seemed to go well, but then after that night I never hear from him much anymore... I text him to hangout and he always has an excuse or sets up some plans and then just completely blows me off and lies about it... He always blows me off to hangout with his jock friends and never invites me to hangout around them and it makes me feel insecure like there something wrong, and when I mention it to him he gets all defensive... The only time I hear from him now is after hes done getting drunk with those friends and he goes back to his dorm and text me to come over and cuddle and hookup. Then when I refuse to do so I won't hear from him for weeks. icon_confused.gif

    Why do you think he does that? That doesn't seem like something true friends do.
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidGay friend keeps blowing me off
    And you're complaining? icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    sounds like a

    disappointing gaaay best friiiiiiiiiend music-note.gif
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:20 AM GMT
    Why do I think he does that?

    He obviously doesn't like you, and you obviously aren't taking the hint. He's being pretty obvious by trying to blow you off with you noticing, why aren't you taking the hint?
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:20 AM GMT
    I read the thread title, but then read the first half of the post and quit because I was disappointed.
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    jayyp15 saidWhy do I think he does that?

    He obviously doesn't like you, and you obviously aren't taking the hint. He's being pretty obvious by trying to blow you off with you noticing, why aren't you taking the hint?


    He obviously does like me in some way if he keeps texting me to hookup when I continually refuse
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 23, 2011 1:24 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidsounds like a

    disappointing gaaay best friiiiiiiiiend music-note.gif


    Oh wow...I love your Coloratura...105.gif
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:27 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    jayyp15 saidWhy do I think he does that?

    He obviously doesn't like you, and you obviously aren't taking the hint. He's being pretty obvious by trying to blow you off with you noticing, why aren't you taking the hint?


    He obviously does like me in some way if he keeps texting me to hookup when I continually refuse

    The way he likes you is to have sex when he is drunk. He doesn't seem interested in you as a friend or for a relationship, and certainly doesn't respect you.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Apr 23, 2011 1:29 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    jayyp15 saidWhy do I think he does that?

    He obviously doesn't like you, and you obviously aren't taking the hint. He's being pretty obvious by trying to blow you off with you noticing, why aren't you taking the hint?


    He obviously does like me in some way if he keeps texting me to hookup when I continually refuse


    When he is drunk. I think you like him, and that is why this is hurting you. Who needs friends like that. You will find other friends.
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    You said you were invited to hang out...you went once, and after that, he didn't like you too much.

    My guess is, he got to know you a little better when you went out with his friends. He didn't really like what he saw, and he stopped contacting you to hangout.

    The drinking and calling is really explainable... I will call anyone when I'm that horny, and it takes a ton of mind power for me to tell myself not to.

    He doesn't like you, get over it now, and just ignore any drunk calls that he has in store for you!
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Apr 23, 2011 1:33 AM GMT
    jayyp15 saidYou said you were invited to hang out...you went once, and after that, he didn't like you too much.

    My guess is, he got to know you a little better when you went out with his friends. He didn't really like what he saw, and he stopped contacting you to hangout.

    The drinking and calling is really explainable... I will call anyone when I'm that horny, and it takes a ton of mind power for me to tell myself not to.

    He doesn't like you, get over it now, and just ignore any drunk calls that he has in store for you!


    Sorry, but icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    Ariodante saidsounds like a

    disappointing gaaay best friiiiiiiiiend music-note.gif


    Oh wow...I love your Coloratura...105.gif


    You should hear me belt out Der Hölle Rache in the dark icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 23, 2011 1:42 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    malefeet said
    Ariodante saidsounds like a

    disappointing gaaay best friiiiiiiiiend music-note.gif


    Oh wow...I love your Coloratura...105.gif


    You should hear me belt out Der Hölle Rache in the dark icon_wink.gif


    Is it any wonder why I've admired you from afar? 71.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    It's quite obvious.

    1) His friends don't like you.
    2) He doesn't like you, but you'll do okay for a warm body.
    3) You don't like yourself enough to know you're more than a door mat.
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Apr 23, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidSo I met this gay guy on my campus and we've started talking but ONLY as friends... I'm kinda shy so he was begging me to come hangout with him and his baseball team friends. So I did and everything seemed to go well, but then after that night I never hear from him much anymore... I text him to hangout and he always has an excuse or sets up some plans and then just completely blows me off and lies about it... He always blows me off to hangout with his jock friends and never invites me to hangout around them and it makes me feel insecure like there something wrong, and when I mention it to him he gets all defensive... The only time I hear from him now is after hes done getting drunk with those friends and he goes back to his dorm and text me to come over and cuddle and hookup. Then when I refuse to do so I won't hear from him for weeks. icon_confused.gif

    Why do you think he does that? That doesn't seem like something true friends do.


    Why do I think he does that? Because he's using you to get his rocks off, or to hang out with when he has nothing else to do!

    My advice: ditch him!
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    Apr 23, 2011 3:08 AM GMT


    "Why do you think he does that? That doesn't seem like something true friends do"


    You sorta answered ur own question.. real friends don't do that..
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 23, 2011 4:36 AM GMT
    dude, he doesnt like u like that.


    only reason he txts u is cuz he's drunk an will settle for anything with a pulse. In the morning, he'll want u to leave and he'll probably want u to just go away.

    Give it up. You're holding onto this because deep down when he txts u when hes drunk, it makes u feel valued. It gives u the upper hand and u get a sense of satisfaction from it
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    Apr 23, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    Is he out to his baseball friends? Maybe he just doesn't want them to put two and two together. But honestly, I don't know why you're complaining...seems like a win-win to me. You get to cuddle and hookup without having to pretend to like his friends or any of that other relationship bullshit. It's college man, have your cake and eat it too--you're not tied down to this guy, keep the cuddling coming while you search for better alternatives.
  • easterndude69

    Posts: 632

    Apr 23, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    It doesn't sound like he likes you. Idk, you could try to confront him about the way he's treating you. You should look for someone else to hangout with you don't need to take shit from him. Seeing as he only wants you when he's drunk, he prob wouldn't make a good bf anywayicon_rolleyes.gif
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 23, 2011 5:00 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude said
    jayyp15 saidWhy do I think he does that?

    He obviously doesn't like you, and you obviously aren't taking the hint. He's being pretty obvious by trying to blow you off with you noticing, why aren't you taking the hint?


    He obviously does like me in some way if he keeps texting me to hookup when I continually refuse


    NO, He doesn't like you in any way. He's only texting you when he is horny and drunk. Have some self respect!
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    Apr 23, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    HE'S NOT REALLY A FRIEND.
  • laguna07

    Posts: 124

    Apr 23, 2011 5:14 AM GMT
    I don't agree with any of these guys that have responded to your post! I think he likes you a lot and obviously you like him. I really think the problem is that he is trying to deal with his sexuality and coming out, and he is looking for intimacy from you. The drinking is just to get the courage to be intimate. It is not unusual for people to do this at all. If you sleep together he'll be completely sober when you wake up and then I think you will learn his true feelings. As far as hanging out with his friends, I would imagine they are straight, and that could present a problem with you being with him. I think you need to go to bed with him, develop a closer bond, let him begin to feel more comfortable (hopefully), and then you will really know. Best wishes!!
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 23, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    That's what fuck buddies do....
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    Apr 23, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    TrentGrad said
    FunCollegeDude saidSo I met this gay guy on my campus and we've started talking but ONLY as friends... I'm kinda shy so he was begging me to come hangout with him and his baseball team friends. So I did and everything seemed to go well, but then after that night I never hear from him much anymore... I text him to hangout and he always has an excuse or sets up some plans and then just completely blows me off and lies about it... He always blows me off to hangout with his jock friends and never invites me to hangout around them and it makes me feel insecure like there something wrong, and when I mention it to him he gets all defensive... The only time I hear from him now is after hes done getting drunk with those friends and he goes back to his dorm and text me to come over and cuddle and hookup. Then when I refuse to do so I won't hear from him for weeks. icon_confused.gif

    Why do you think he does that? That doesn't seem like something true friends do.


    Why do I think he does that? Because he's using you to get his rocks off, or to hang out with when he has nothing else to do!

    My advice: ditch him!


    ^ that right there! Welcome to life. He probably thinks all your complaints about why he hasn't invited you into his daily life on a routine basis means you like him for more then friends and when he's drunk he figures he'll use you to fill the void seeing as how you are humping his leg to be a part of his life. He's a dime a dozen. Drop him and move on and continue to foster more healthy friendships. Don't be someones unsuspecting bitch in training. He's being insulting.
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    Apr 23, 2011 6:40 AM GMT
    You're his dirty little secret.

    Do yourself a favor and stop acting like his hookup delivery service.
    Time to work on your self-esteem and find friends who value you.