Would you forgive someone if?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 24, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    Saying you had a brother or sister that started as a teenager and lead up to there adult years... and he/she use to spit, bruise, steal, say alot of hurtful things to your mother and pushed her to kill herself.... would you look past all that, and still have him in your life..


    Ok the reason i ask, is because my brother use to do all of the above and worse.. and i stopped talkin to him, its been about 5 yrs.. and ppl say im cold and heartless for doing so.. im I rele?
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    Apr 24, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    People say I'm cold and heartless for not mourning my father's death.
    If you feel that your reason to ignore your brother is valid, don't worry about what others think.
    You know the situation better than they do.
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidPeople say I'm cold and heartless for not mourning my father's death.
    If you feel that your reason to ignore your brother is valid, don't worry about what others think.
    You know the situation better than they do.


    I don't think you need much of an answer beyond that... very nice.
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:09 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidPeople say I'm cold and heartless for not mourning my father's death.
    If you feel that your reason to ignore your brother is valid, don't worry about what others think.
    You know the situation better than they do.



    Thank you, this was well put.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 24, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    u r a better man then i am if i knew ne of my sisters caused my mom or dads death i would kill them with my barehands. there is no place for a younger person to disrespect a adult like that at all, and then to lead to that, like paul told u it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks as long as u can live whit your choice that is what matters. and i am sorry for your loss also.
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    you see your family differently than others do. people wonder why i'm so rude to my father because he looks like such a wonderful freaking person to them apparently. they don't see how he acts with his family.
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    I'd of wrote the fucker off a looong time ago. No, no way. You are not "obligated" to love anyone.
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    safety43 saidu r a better man then i am if i knew ne of my sisters caused my mom or dads death i would kill them with my barehands. there is no place for a younger person to disrespect a adult like that at all, and then to lead to that, like paul told u it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks as long as u can live whit your choice that is what matters. and i am sorry for your loss also.



    Thank you.. it took alot out of me not to hurt him... but i figured if i did so, how badly would that kill my grandma.. she already lost her daughter.. would i really wanna put her thru any other kind of hurt.. i think thats why i stay away from him cause things will turn ugly fast...
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:23 AM GMT
    [quote]If I were in your shoes, I would strive to forgive my brother. But after that I would be indifferent toward him. I would not care to have him in my life.[/quote]


    probably the best answer





    (ughh, fucked up the html)
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    Apr 24, 2011 2:30 AM GMT
    You can forgive without forgetting. In the long run, before you can move on with your life, you need to forgive. It's okay if you don't want him in your life, it might take years. But, for yourself, make sure you forgive what happened. Hope this helps!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 24, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    redman3 saidYou can forgive without forgetting. In the long run, before you can move on with your life, you need to forgive. It's okay if you don't want him in your life, it might take years. But, for yourself, make sure you forgive what happened. Hope this helps!


    Good advice... forgiving means not carrying around a bunch of vengeful hatred of him. Not having him in your life to torment you is another thing.
    Absolutely forgive him, but go on about your business. The last thing I'd worry about is whether to have him in your life.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Apr 24, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    Dude..we're talking about your mother...He's lucky you didn't kill him...if it was me...I would have....BUD
  • macguyver32

    Posts: 75

    Apr 24, 2011 3:15 AM GMT
    Forgiveness doesn't suggest that you have come to terms with what they have done. I have forgiven people for things they have done to me and still refuse to see them for any reason. Nor should I.

    If he were my brother I would struggle to forgive him for my own sake. I would be cordial to him but I could never look at him the same again. That's a pretty terrible thing he did.