It's so hard being single and new during Holidays

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    Apr 24, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    OK, I'm putting my forum debate arms down...because I like all (most) of you guys so most of my debate material is aimed at the idea, not you in particular!

    But I'm just like damn, holidays roll around and all of a sudden nobody is able to hangout because everyone has Easter plans or family nearby. It's like when a holiday rolls around, nobody is there anymore and I tend to get kinda depressed around this times.

    Thing is I have no family within 700+ miles of where I am and I already took a trip this month to Utah so my travel funds were all tapped out. And Easter isn't really a huge holiday for us anyhow, but seems like everyone else it is LOL.

    I went out last night but couldn't really muster up the courage to go tonight because I'm just not in the mood. I just don't like going clubbing too much because then I feel like I'm trying to drown my down-times in drinking (and spending money that I really should not be spending right now) and then on the off chance meet someone who's an idiot will make me feel even worse! Even the guys on the chat sites are acting abnormally flaky around this time. Like, I thought I had atleast 2 first dates today and neither one bothered to follow thru.

    So, I just need all of you to give me a virtual hug...I'm not going to participate in any debate threads for the rest of the weekend. It's bad enough that I'm like the only one in my circle of friends with no Easter plans as it is icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:39 AM GMT
    I am an only child. My parents and family line going backwards are all deceased. My bestest friend lives in another state and is hanging with family cause (while Easter is a major religious holiday) it is major family holiday. You are new to Denver. Soon I will be new to Kansas City. My plans for Easter? Watch a bit of television and eat breakfast and then off to the greenway down the street for a 10 mile walk, probably on my own, which is ok cause I will get to listen to alot of music said bestest friend gave me for working out. While I, too, have days where I wish my circle was bigger or that I had finally created that family some of us long seek, it hasn't come to fruition yet. So while I give you a he's got the whole world in his hands hug, get over it & yourself and do something. No need to shut yourself in all day! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 24, 2011 1:43 PM GMT
    Yup, another weekend for families and couples...
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    Apr 24, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    ErikTaurean said No need to shut yourself in all day! icon_biggrin.gif


    Well, it's not that I want to! It's just been so boring. So far I've spent the day planning a trip for May
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    Apr 24, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    Don't blame it on being single. If you must place blame somewhere, blame the fact that none of your friends treat you like family and invite you to hang out with them.

    My family is 1400 miles away, and I'm single. However, I was invited to three different events today after work. Unfortunately I have work to do at home, or I woulda went with a couple friends and their families to play volleyball at the beach and have a beach picnic at sunset; but the gesture of being invited means a lot (and I let them know that).

    Depending on how long you've known your friends, you might want to question the the validity of those friendships. At least one should invite you to chill with his or her family. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 25, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    It's a big deal to be single on Easter now? I'm sorry that you missed out on hiding Easter eggs and eating boiled eggs for the next few weeks.

    You could find some friends in your area and still do Easter brunch (maybe it's too late for that now) or Easter dinner.
    Too bad Orthodox Easter is today as well, or you could have had another chance for an Easter date.
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    Apr 25, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    The first Easter after my partner's death I had nowhere to go, and didn't want to stay at home, too many memories. Yet all our gay friends were couples, and almost all had dinner plans with relatives, mostly out of town.

    Then a guy in Minneapolis, who belonged to a gay social group I had just joined for the very purpose of giving myself a change of scenery, e-mailed me that he was hosting an "orphans Easter Sunday dinner" for single gay guys like me. I quickly accepted, and furthermore, agreed to arrive at his house on Friday, staying there and helping him get ready. I drove over 200 miles to be there.

    It was a great idea! Because many gay guys find themselves single at different times in their lives, and often without any family, or living too far from them to visit. He & I worked all weekend to create a classic Easter feast, featuring traditional ham, and he had the most exquisite table service, creating a very formal & elegant setting for 12 of us. It was wonderful!

    (One thing, though, sort of the "rest of the story" moment for which the late radio commentator Paul Harvey was known: this social group was Naked Minnesota, a gay men's naturist/nudist group. And so we were all completely naked for the entire dinner, traditional & formal though it otherwise was. I did wonder if it was a bit blasphemous, considering what holiday it was, but no lightning struck us down)

    Point is, when you know holidays are approaching, there are ways to plan for them, and create your own orphans group of gay men, or possibly also with other friends. And you can keep your clothes on, nudity isn't mandatory. icon_wink.gif

    I appreciate that a guy who's brand new to the local community might not connect with anybody quickly enough to do this. OK, then next year. But I'd suggest to other gay guys to consider doing what we married Officers did in the Army at holidays like Thanksgiving: invite single young soldiers, alone and far from home, into our own homes for dinner with us.

    It was our tradition & obligation to do so, leaving as few to dine in a mess hall as possible (though we'd also make time to visit the soldiers there, too). I don't see why gays, and especially gay couples, can't adopt a version of this US Army tradition for our own community.
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    Apr 25, 2011 1:39 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidDon't blame it on being single. If you must place blame somewhere, blame the fact that none of your friends treat you like family and invite you to hang out with them.

    My family is 1400 miles away, and I'm single. However, I was invited to three different events today after work. Unfortunately I have work to do at home, or I woulda went with a couple friends and their families to play volleyball at the beach and have a beach picnic at sunset; but the gesture of being invited means a lot (and I let them know that).

    Depending on how long you've known your friends, you might want to question the the validity of those friendships. At least one should invite you to chill with his or her family. icon_wink.gif


    Oh gosh you make me feel even worse icon_cry.gif

    I haven't really known these people for that long and I've met them like 2 or 3 times.

    How long have you lived where you've lived? I only been here since February. If I was back in Miami again I'd have plans too!

    I guess my next holiday of defense is upcoming memorial day...I'm going to plan for that tonight so I won't end up like this next month!

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    Apr 25, 2011 3:33 AM GMT
    brianindenver saidHow long have you lived where you've lived?
    3.5 years in one spot, but 7 years off and on.

    brianindenver saidI only been here since February.
    In that case, don't fret it. You just haven't been around your friends long enough for them to warm up to you that much yet.

    Oh and if you were down here, I woulda invited you out tonight...except for the fact that we just got texts a little while ago saying we gotta work tomorrow, so tonight's plans just got fucked. icon_lol.gif