Gay saunas/bathhouses?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 24, 2011 9:28 AM GMT
    I wanna take my partner to a sauna.

    Neither of us have ever been before and I'm more keen than him.

    I think it's the thrill of being there that I wanna try and maybe the thought of watching others and others watching us.

    Anyone wanna share their thoughts/experiences on here?
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    Apr 24, 2011 10:46 AM GMT
    never been myself but i heard that it not as exhilarating as u might think! it might be different if u go with a partner but a friend of mine said that it was just sleazy.....and not in a good way. lol icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 24, 2011 10:57 AM GMT
    Comacat saidNeither of us have ever been before and I'm more keen than him.


    This line here is what makes me think this is a terrible idea. I get the whole 'getting off on other people watching you' or being a voyeur but if he's not as up for it as you are then it's going to end badly!

    What will you do if other guys want to join in, or you see a guy you really want to have sex with and your bf feels uncomfortable because he doesn't want to share?

    I just generally don't think a gay sauna is a good place for a couple to go. If you want to get into swinging (and your bf does too) then you'd be better off finding some private parties.

    Just to say though, I don't know why some guys really hate on saunas - they serve a purpose like anything else, and I've been to them in the past and didn't find them dirty or anything, it's just an easy and honest way to get your rocks off, or even just relax in the company of other guys (no one said you HAVE to have sex if you visit one, plenty of guys go there just to chill out).
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    Apr 24, 2011 11:26 AM GMT
    My suggestion would be to perhaps try messing around on a webcam with an audience of one (or more) first, and see how your bf handles it. If all is good, nothing wrong with the sauna, just be safe and make sure your bf is alright with everything along the way.

    As another poster noted, saunas aren't always as hot as we think they are, but they can be fun. Depends on the location and the crowd, I guess.
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    Apr 24, 2011 11:30 AM GMT
    Sorry but I don't think it's such a good idea iether.
    Been there done that.
    My partner and I have been together 17 years and I may be wrong but every single couple we've encountered that persue this kind of thing down the road have always broken up.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Apr 24, 2011 11:41 AM GMT
    I think if your are both open and agree to it, give it a shot. If your relationship is solid and you guys want it to last, it will. You can't use a sauna as an excuse for breaking up a relationship.
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Apr 24, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidThe guys that usually go to these bathhouses are generally gross and do not know how to respect boundaries.


    Pretty much a generaliztion, you never know what you will find in life, and statements like this tend to limit life experiences. Again, I think you should give it a try if it is something you feel like doing, and agree on.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    Apr 24, 2011 12:29 PM GMT
    Bathhouses and the like are a mixed bag, usually either filled with people like yourself and many undesirables who can't get attention unless their naked. And by that, I mean, not in a good way either. It'd difficult to keep boundaries in such a public forum, and cleanliness can be an issues as well. I don't recommend them, even with a partner.

    And if you're keen and he isn't...well, maybe start smaller. What's more important? Your contentment or his?

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Apr 24, 2011 12:34 PM GMT
    OK...

    In the UK, there are some very clean hygenic saunas, and the ones in London have some very hot men in them. I don't know if this helps or not - I presume they are some of this standard in the states.

    Hope your partner and yourself get on ok even if he's not up for it though? Isn't that a bit worrying?

    Best of luck!
  • briefslover1

    Posts: 49

    Apr 24, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    I went to one bathouse and it was so sleazy I never went again... I am not generally into that stuff so I am not a good judge... I gave it a try and hated it... I think if you know your BF won't be into it, I say, don't do it...
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    Apr 24, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    suedeheadscot saidIn the UK, there are some very clean hygenic saunas, and the ones in London have some very hot men in them. I don't know if this helps or not - I presume they are some of this standard in the states.


    Definitely agree with this - saunas that I went to in London were always very well-kept and not skuzzy/sleazy at all, I guess it depends where you go.
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    Apr 24, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    why ask...
    just do it and live with the aftermath. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 24, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    A friend of mine runs one (not located in the USA) I have been there for a couple of his shifts over the years since I've known him. The physical premise is clean and well maintained - the patrons are another matter altogether
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    Apr 24, 2011 3:59 PM GMT
    Hmm, there seem to be a lot of negative opinions so far.

    My bf and I enjoy going from time to time. There are two here in Phoenix. One has an outdoor area with a pool, hot tub, steam room, etc., while the other is strictly indoors with rooms and a few common areas with porn on tv's.

    I definitely like the one with the pool and hot tub more. You can just kind of hang out and chill. It's true it isn't the most attractive crowd all the time, but there usually are a few each time that make it at least interesting.

    Getting a blowjob or handjob in front of others is kind of fun (for me anyway). We haven't done much else. Only once have we brought another guy back to our room, and that was strictly for oral. I wouldn't do more with a stranger in that circumstance.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 24, 2011 5:44 PM GMT
    Big ol' human petri dishes... YUCK... no way!
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    Apr 24, 2011 6:11 PM GMT

    I saw Bette Midler in a gay bathhouse in New York once...and EVERYBODY was watching HER.....icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Apr 24, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    I SAY NO WAY. ewwwww
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    Apr 24, 2011 6:35 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    Blackguy4you saidA friend of mine runs one (not located in the USA) I have been there for a couple of his shifts over the years since I've known him. The physical premise is clean and well maintained - the patrons are another matter altogether

    To quote Jesus, from Matthew 22:18, "Ewwww!"


    HAH!
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:08 PM GMT
    I'm pretty conservative and have never been. Bathouses/saunas just sound disgusting to me. Just seems like an STD festival. What ever happened to just watching porn and getting off together in your own house? I mean I like sex and all but the fantasies are almost so much hotter than the reality. Again, I am conservative so what gets me off isn't what gets a lot of guys off. But if I were in a dark, sweaty sauna with random dudes, I'd be preoccupied with thinking "Staph infections, Herpes, HPV, HIV" and would leave and then go home and jerk off about it haha. Just be safe.
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    Blackguy4you saidA friend of mine runs one (not located in the USA) I have been there for a couple of his shifts over the years since I've known him. The physical premise is clean and well maintained - the patrons are another matter altogether

    To quote Jesus, from Matthew 22:18, "Ewwww!"


    LOL - that pretty much was my reaction. I had to man the till a couple of times while he was otherwise engaged - I tell you I didn't even want to touch the money ....
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:29 PM GMT
    seanp7 saidMy suggestion would be to perhaps try messing around on a webcam with an audience of one (or more) first, and see how your bf handles it. If all is good, nothing wrong with the sauna, just be safe and make sure your bf is alright with everything along the way.

    As another poster noted, saunas aren't always as hot as we think they are, but they can be fun. Depends on the location and the crowd, I guess.


    The problem with doing it online is that if you're both attractive the chances of getting recorded and having your video distributed are very high.
    Saunas might be dirtier but they don't normally allow phones or camera. You walk in- get undressed- and wait for the attendant to hand you a towel and sandals.
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    There great for those that prefer body language and minimal 'personality', when the desire to be animal is greater than the willingness to suffer another's humanity. That can come after, though -- pillowtalk.
  • 2PecanDeBeurr...

    Posts: 302

    Apr 24, 2011 7:39 PM GMT
    Saunas/Bathouses are a great experience.
    I have been to various ones-Chicago,St.Louis, Las Vegas,Frankfurt,Germany, and Amsterdam. Some are very high class and some are mediocre.
    Adhere to the policy of hygiene and go with the "flow." I observed the protocol at each place. It was very relaxing. Some wear towels(which are issued), some choose to have towels on their shoulders. You must remember why you go, set "boundaries." I will never be the same.
    j.c.
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    Bathouses just sound nasty. I never been I imagen it to be like going to a nude beach where everyone u don't wanna see naked is naked. Plus a whole lot dirtier... Eeww take him to a spa and then fuck his brainsout at home ;)
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    Apr 24, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    I love these post; always a new, faceless and the one's that hate the most have never been.
    I thought "Steam Works" was awesome. A must experience, at least once for me, but yeah the partners not into it, he thinks they're nasty also and has never been. *sigh*