GREAT for a F$%K

  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Apr 25, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    Recently I've been getting a lot of similar comments and responses from some friends and some strangers....."they see you as just a fuck" ...."thought you were just gonna be about sex" ..... "when i met you, i thought: whore"...... these are some of the comments ive received from friends. Sad, I know.

    Oddly enough, I've always been about relationships and monogamy and such. And sadly enough, have only had one real relationship.

    It seems i've been scaring off a lot of guys with talk of dating and getting to know each other and being in a relationship. And then, when I asked my friends why, they told me comments like that.

    So here's my question...is there a "look" that i have that makes me look like i'm an easy fuck, or slut, or whore. After people get to know me, they know I'm just a bitter ol' bridesmaid lol....i just dont get...i'm so tired of waiting.
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:04 AM GMT
    The bling and baseball caps probably don't help.
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:31 AM GMT
    I think you're as you are, but if this has been your track record for awhile, I would say your gaydar may need adjusting because you are getting the wrong guys in the reach. They just can't get past the swagger most likely and there is nothing wrong with that. Just find some fellas that appreciate the swagger.
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:49 AM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidI think you're as you are, but if this has been your track record for awhile, I would say your gaydar may need adjusting because you are getting the wrong guys in the reach. They just can't get past the swagger most likely and there is nothing wrong with that. Just find some fellas that appreciate the swagger.





    HOP UP




    OUT DA BED




    TURN MA




    SWAG ON
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    Apr 25, 2011 8:04 AM GMT
    @ anduru-Your sway is most likely just right. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 25, 2011 8:43 AM GMT
    ErikTaurean said@ anduru-Your sway is most likely just right. icon_wink.gif

    icon_surprised.gificon_wink.gif
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    Apr 25, 2011 3:34 PM GMT
    here's a concept......show, don't talk.

    if you want to go on dates with someone, arrange to go on dates......don't talk about wanting to date them.....just do it. don't let it go straight to the bed right away, no matter how bad you want it.

    if someone says they want to date or want a boyfriend, i tend to think "psycho" because those people tend to be clingy. buf if the same person just kept consistently keeping in contact, and going out with me....it would be the same thing they say they want, but without the neurotic analysis on the front end
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 09, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    Its funny you say that. I don't say I want to be their boyfriend or date them. I just usually ask to actually arrange a date like you say. I've had one guy that I told him I wanted to get to know keep putting off the 2nd date we agreed to for 3 weeks now. Its stupid. I ran into him at the club too...I need to just stop chasing dudes. The dating scene has changes so radically within the past 8 years...its crazy, i just need to step my game up I think. Work out harder, and play hard to get until someone genuinely interested comes along. *which will be never.
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    May 09, 2011 5:36 AM GMT
    your actions, your words and your inner feelings must all point in the same direction. I learned that the hard way.icon_neutral.gif
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    May 09, 2011 11:12 AM GMT
    BambinoRex saidhere's a concept......show, don't talk.

    if you want to go on dates with someone, arrange to go on dates......don't talk about wanting to date them.....just do it. don't let it go straight to the bed right away, no matter how bad you want it.

    if someone says they want to date or want a boyfriend, i tend to think "psycho" because those people tend to be clingy. buf if the same person just kept consistently keeping in contact, and going out with me....it would be the same thing they say they want, but without the neurotic analysis on the front end


    I would like to disagree with you a little. Stating that you would rather date doesn't necessarily mean the person is clingy. They might have already tried the casual get together but then on the brink of exclusive dating, the other person bails...

    In saying that, start off slow and then try to build the consistent dating regime lol
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 10, 2011 12:58 AM GMT
    a dating regime? How do i do that ? Guys are just being assholes here...I think I'm just gonna be done with it. Its bringing me down so much.
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    May 11, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidStating that you would rather date doesn't necessarily mean the person is clingy. They might have already tried the casual get together but then on the brink of exclusive dating, the other person bails...

    In saying that, start off slow and then try to build the consistent dating regime lol


    It's a crapshoot.

    I've lost a guy because he started dating someone else, and when I complained he was like "I didn't know you wanted a boyfriend. I wish I had known." Well, what was I supposed to do? Draw up a contract? So much for letting things build slowly...

    So the next guy I tried to make it clear -- in a subtle way, but in a clear way -- that I was interested in something longer term, and he got scared. So that fell apart.

    So it's crapshoot.

    I think the bottom line is when it clicks it clicks and you don't need all those explanations and manipulations: it just feels right. That kind of connection just seems to be rare for many, unfortunately.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    May 14, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    Yea, sadly Troy, I think your logic coincides with my own. I'm just getting tired of waiting.
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    May 14, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    MercuryMax saidYea, sadly Troy, I think your logic coincides with my own. I'm just getting tired of waiting.


    Touche' to being tired.

    Someday my prince will comes.

    Or since I'm bi, my princess too.
  • MercuryMax

    Posts: 713

    Jun 13, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    So, this past weekend, I drove to Dallas TX to meet a seemingly really nice guy that I could click with.

    We started off with texting each other, discussed what we were looking for, which was .............no games, option for something longterm, some cuddling, time to get to know each other. It all started out great.

    I showed up at his place, he was real excited to meet me. We talked, hung out, cuddled a little bit while watching tv, he expressed that he thought i was real sexy, I expressed the same to him. We went to bed made out, cuddled, slept. Woke up, went to the mall, bought some candy, hung out, went to a movie/dinner place which was real cool, he bought the tickets, i bought the dinner.

    came back to his place, hung out, expressed that we really liked each other. He said he wanted to spend more time with me. I said ok, and told him that I had some extra time off over the weekend and could come back to dallas, he said ok.

    So I came back and we pretty much did the same stuff again, I told him that if he had any plans that he should not change them in any way, because I was not there to change his lifestyle. So the whole weekend, we ended up just watching tv on the couch and making random trips to run errands with his friend. And that was ok with me. I had no problem with it.

    But while we were at his place watching tv, I just did the same thing before and cuddled up to him and watched tv with him. I even suggested us going drinking, or to a movie, or eat, or just to walmart. Eventually he walked off for a second, checked some laundry, and didn't come out of his room for a few minutes. He then text me to come in there because we needed to talk. So I did.

    He said that the cuddling was smothering him and he said it seemed like we were moving too fast and didn't know what he wanted. In my defense, I told him that I didn't know what else to do. Since I was there to visit Him, I cuddled up to him because we weren't doing anything else...so I told him it seemed like he already made his choice, gathered my things and told him to text me and left. And now I'm broke from the drive lol.

    WTF did I do wrong?
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    Jun 13, 2011 7:54 PM GMT
    Apparently you looked like a whore, thats it.

    In actuality you didnt do anything wrong in the above scenario. This guy had a hard time communicating his wants/needs/desires, and probably didnt know these things.

    Dont fret the small stuff, just go be yourself. Someone will accept you for who you are.
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    Jun 13, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    the talking about dating part sounds like me. i tend to just babble off about the dating world and w/e else is on my mind. i've found i need to just relax and let the relationship be what it is, and that to find out what it is i just need to pay attention and be patient instead of talking about it.

    the image thing, could come from the way you dress like people are saying. i've been trying to speak more clearly and more maturely. it depends on my mood but sometimes i just mumble off a bunch of slang words and can dress immaturely in comparison to who i want to date. i've kind of learned how to do both, be myself but know how to create a certain appearance.