Did/Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

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    Apr 25, 2011 7:28 AM GMT
    Thought I'd ask out of curiosity. I, myself, have an OK relationship with my parents. I was really close to my mom when I was younger but ever since she moved away (but not divorced; she's been gone for 4 years to take care of her ailing mother), we've pretty much lost that connection we once had, makes me sad sometimes. As for my dad, we don't get along very well but only because we are so alike. I can't stay in the same room with my dad since we always end up fighting over something pointless. It just kind of sucks now that I'm getting older and it's just starting to hit me: "oh, shit...I really do miss my mom...a lot."

    How's your relationship with your parentsicon_question.gif
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:50 AM GMT
    Me and my mom were good, in fact great up until she passed away. And there was never an issue about my gayness when I told her. It was like an afterthought (she told me she didn't know) and immediately changed pronouns from that point on. I know I am in the minority with never having any family issues with being gay or really anything. There wasn't a single thing I couldn't go to my mom about and vice versa. I know I was lucky and fortunate.
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    Apr 25, 2011 11:28 AM GMT
    I too was one of the lucky ones. I came out later in life after a divorce with a child. A few weeks after meeting my present spouse my mother, who was brought up as an orthodox observant Jew, sent my partner a birthday card that read..."To my son-in-law"....We still have that card and it brings a tear to my eye each time I hold it.

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    Apr 25, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    I have an alright relationship with my mom, we have always been fairly tight up until my 30th birthday somewhere. I realized that my mom likes to bully my stepfather down sometimes just to get her way even if she is wrong or will never admit to faults of hers. She tried to do it to me a few times to me, which I call CWS (crazy women syndrome) but didn't work which caused a major argument both times, I think she learned after the second time not to do this to me. As I told her save it for your husband and therapist, cause you're a whacky woman and you need some mental help. I do think she is bipolar and a doctor told her once she was but refused to believe it. Anyway it has gotten better, but it still isn't 100%. I learned I can't have a logical conversation with her, so I can't approach her with anything that confronts her insecurity anymore.

    Far as my father, I have more of a relationship with my iPad. On the other hand I really love the company of my boyfriend's family. All really sweet and loving people with a brain.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Apr 25, 2011 11:55 AM GMT
    you are 18 it all comes back around. You wake up one day in your late 20's early 30's and go Well SHIT! they were right about everything. Then you become more of a equal.
    I love my parents, we get along, they get me I get them. I call them 2 or 3 times a week. They have become great sounding boards.
    The fighting is what happens. It's part of growing up and becoming independent not just in the legal since but in your own personality.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 25, 2011 11:58 AM GMT
    nope, when i was younger they hated the day that i was probably born. however, i am older and my father seems to want to be apart of my life now. i guess i am the only one that is not near home and does not ask for his help.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 25, 2011 12:00 PM GMT
    Extremely tough question for me.....I've had love-hate relationship with my parents (especially dad) for the last 20 years (since they realized I am bisex/gay)....It was a roller coaster, and I never knew what to expect from them/him.
    But, in my major life crisis, 2 years ago, it was my dad who actually came all the way from Serbia to China, and literally saved my life. I am eternally thankful for what he did, and all the bad memories from the past were undone by that act. Nowadays, I am still in China, my parents in Serbia, and they are aware of my sexuality and seems that there is no problem (as long as we don't talk about it). But, at the end of the day, I know that they love me, as much as I love them, and that is only that matters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2011 12:05 PM GMT
    I have a good relationship with my mother but not my father
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    Apr 25, 2011 12:21 PM GMT
    Yes, I am #6 out of 7 boys (no girls). We have always been very close... There was a time when I felt "estranged" from them after I was outed at 18 for about a year or so. However that was in 1979, and I became very close to them again.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Apr 25, 2011 12:35 PM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidMe and my mom were good, in fact great up until she passed away. And there was never an issue about my gayness when I told her. It was like an afterthought (she told me she didn't know) and immediately changed pronouns from that point on. I know I am in the minority with never having any family issues with being gay or really anything. There wasn't a single thing I couldn't go to my mom about and vice versa. I know I was lucky and fortunate.


    Nope you are not! I also have had a wonderful relationship with my parents, from day one!! I am not hiding the fact that at first it was difficult for them to get use to having a gay son, but as any good parent they were primarily more concerned about my wellbeing and health, and rightfully so, since I came out to them in the early 80's, when AIDS and promiscuity reached its peak amongst the gay community. My sexual orientation wasn't so much a big deal as their concerns of me being exposed to sexually transmitted deseases, and all the perverts that were after my youthful looks back then.

    My Dad who passed away when I was twenty five, according to my own mother always knew I was gay since my tender age of ten!! having said that after he passed away my mother took over the paternal role, of which I benefitted from a great deal, as my father played a huge role during my childhood years. I adored him and out of all my siblings I was always his favorite. My mother took a little longer to fully accept me, but that wasn't much of an issue for me because I too adored her and greatly appreciate all the morals and values she instilled in me. I love my parents very very much, and I greatly miss my Dad, as his open mindness was way ahead of the times back then!!


    Leandro ♥
  • IH2006

    Posts: 297

    Apr 25, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    I Have A Good Relationship With My Parents.
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    Apr 25, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    My mother, yes. My father...... don't even go there.
  • Jwusn

    Posts: 35

    Apr 25, 2011 1:14 PM GMT
    I have a great relationship with 3 out of 4 parents ( the four is a step mom) but i talk to them all atleast once a week we have our issues but thats normal
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    Apr 25, 2011 1:42 PM GMT
    My relationship with my parents was great once I got over the illusion of perfection, and the same regarding myself.

    But the key issue you mentioned is caregiving.

    My cousin is a caregiver to her mother. I know this is a very emotionally draining and stressful job. She is not the type to complain, but she has vented to me several times about doctors, hospitals, medical bills and all the problems associated with caring for a person with health problems.

    Caregivers suffer from depression, anxiety, burnout, etc. It sounds like your mom doesn't have the energy left to be the person she once was. If you can help your mom in her caregiving...even a small thing or visit to give her a break...I'm sure she would really appreciate that in a big way. Even just being there for moral support on the phone or email can bring you closer.

    Your father? His wife has been gone for 4 years, so no picnic for him. But...how to get along with him? Well, people love to talk about themselves. So, ask him questions about your family, when he was a kid, his job, how met your mom. Think of yourself as a like a Larry King...lol
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    Apr 25, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    with my mom it was pretty good well when she wasnt drinking.. but it didnt bother me i loved her to death, and id take anything from her bad or good she raised me... but she died when i was 16 and the whole year b4 that i didnt rele talk to her she was in and out of rehab and stuff... but the last thing she said to me b4 she died was fuck off that was a bout a month b4 she passed... it hurts knowing that was the last thing she ever said to me... but i no she was in a reall bad time in her life... so i understand it rele wasnt her talking... and with my dad he payed child support but he didnt raise us, so our relationship aint that good.. but oh well its life... shit happens...
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    Apr 25, 2011 2:11 PM GMT
    I have a great relationship with my parents and pretty much the majority of my family. No issues at all.
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    Apr 25, 2011 2:19 PM GMT
    You couldn't dream for better parents , unfortunately my mum passed away in 1979 , and i wish i could have spent more time with her ... My dad and i are very very close , i travel a lot because of my job , but every day i find time to Skype with him ....He is very laid back , understanding , and the most tolerant person i have ever known .....and at 85 years old , he is totally up with the latest technology ..Hahaha ..icon_smile.gif
  • steven_patter...

    Posts: 144

    Apr 25, 2011 2:28 PM GMT
    I did & do have a great relationship with my folks. Think it's one of the reasons it took me so long to come out (didn't do it till I was 29) - was scared to death of messing up something so fine. There was a big gulp, but after that initial reaction, things have been absolutely terrific. They love my partner John (wildly, since he's willing to put up with me) and are flying back here from the West Coast to visit us for 10 days at our place in Catskill, NY in about 2 weeks time. Can't wait - especially since we're now on completely different coasts (and they're really gettin' up there), I treasure the time we get to spend together.
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    Apr 25, 2011 2:33 PM GMT
    hmmm....they both live quite a distance away from me and have new spouses and are all caught up in that stuff, but i know they'd be on the first plane out if i even had a shred of a problem.










    And they continue to deposit money...so its all good icon_neutral.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    Apr 25, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    I had a great relationship with my parents. My real Dad passed away in 2004. My parents were divorced when I was young and my mom remarried 25 years ago to a wonderful man who is my stepdad. I have always had a great relationship with my mom, and always will, and I have a good one with my step dad as well. What a blessing.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 25, 2011 3:12 PM GMT
    Very good - Excellent. I've always said my parents were pretty awesome.
    I always knew they have loved me very much, never showed favoritism between myself and my older brother.

    My mother, a remarkably accomplished woman and beautiful became ill when I was 7 and we had some struggles before she ultimately passed away when I was 24. My father, legal director for a major corporation had alot of responsibilities everywhere it seemed, but I have appreciated really getting to know my Dad as an adult. We argue, but I appreciate him and he, me. Is it perfect, no, but I'm very lucky to have had what I have.
  • koolnessbox

    Posts: 17

    Apr 25, 2011 5:19 PM GMT
    My parents have been great to me. The youngest of 9, I have been the recipient of their affections, doled out in a capacity susceptible to dogs of millionaire heiress'. My childhood was filled with much love, much saving of me from the wrath of older siblings, and much placing of me on a pedastal.

    For this I hate them.

    I have friends with, their words, "rotten parents" and I have always been a little jealous. After birth, they were checked off the list of duties like dry cleaning and tossed into a world filled with negligence and much completing of chores.

    Even our fictional counterparts experience turmoil when faced with guardian-ship. While sentencing your kid to a childhood spent living under a cupboard is kinda wrong and possibly illegal, I think Vernon Dursley was on to something. Doesn't a childhood met with hardships prepare one for the greater problems of life? For the caos, the fights, the tears, the non-replies to the cleverly thought out and wittyly executed email messages? I think so.

    But in all honesty, my parents were great. They were my co-pilots and till this day still occupy the cockpit. I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood. And also, I would never survive a minute living under a cupboard.
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    Yes, very good.
    I see my parents on a weekly basis. I know if I ever needed anything, they'd be there for me, and if they needed anything I'm there for them.
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    yeah, i love my parents, they have accepted me the way i am and love me regardless, i maintain a great connection with my mom, with my dad, eh, we get along, but hes not the first one i run to when something goes wrong