SUPPORTING HIS FAMILY OR A LAZY ASS?

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 25, 2011 4:23 PM GMT
    So I have a "friend" who lives in Oklahoma City. We really aren't as close now because of a variety of factors, his attitude and behavior being one.
    My partner hates him and doesn't understand why I can remain friends with the guy. I've tried to understand his position and really still can't.
    Your thoughts?

    The guy used to work for the state of Oklahoma. He had health insurance, retirement, including a 403(b) supplemental plan and was making reasonable wages as an office assistant in his late 30's. He did have to be at work at 7:00 a.m. every morning which he was getting sick of. He had been working for the state for 6 or 7 years when in 2005 he was encouraged to go into real estate. He could work as an assistant on a very part time basis (like less than 10 hours a week) and study for his license on the side. Some weeks he literally didn't work at all or just a few hours. He did ultimately have his grandmother pay for his real estate test.. he passed it, but didn't end up doing it after all.

    Now I know what he really wanted was to find a guy to live with and not work at all. He told me. He lived with his mother and grown siblings. His mother died and now lives with his sister, who had 2 children from different fathers and his brother. The sister drives a school bus (or did) and the brother was a firefighter and I think now has some part time or full time job in some related field.

    The "friend" has financial problems. He was given money from his grandmother, but she too is now gone. One step ahead of the financial company who is about to repossess his truck. I think he finally paid it off, but barely. He talks about how he "is help raising" his sister's children by taking them to school and helping them out in glowing terms on Facebook. I just can't understand. I'm sure he could help out even if he had a part time job, but I've often wondered if he doesn't have some sort of mental illness. He's now 44, still thinks he's this hot number, doesn't work out, doesn't seem to have a real future and thinks he is somehow going to have this incredible life ahead.

    You don't want to hear what my partner thinks.
    So does it sound as pathetic as it sounds or should he be given any flexibility?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2011 4:28 PM GMT
    He never grew up.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 25, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidHe never grew up.


    You know, I think thats absolutely true. He can still act like some middle school kid at times.
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    Apr 25, 2011 4:51 PM GMT
    Could be a number of things including just being lazy or else maybe he's just content doing what he's doing and doesn't give a fuck what others think about his lifestyle. Doesn't sound like he's miserable does it?

    The only similar sort of experience I've had was a number of years ago when a close friend of mine met and partnered up with a guy who didn't seem to have any ambition either and was quite content to just take low pay jobs like mall security and smoke weed all the rest of time.. No one in the circle of friends around could figure it out why he went for him, and they lasted for quite a number of years until both eventually died of aids.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 25, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    It's as pathetic as it sounds.
    He's a bum.
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    Apr 25, 2011 7:56 PM GMT
    I am totally too young to answer this question. I have worked since I was 15 and just recently stopped to finish up school and have time to pick up an internship. This being said I have only had 2 jobs. I really could have cared less about how much I was even getting paid, I actually enjoyed it because the people I worked with became my second family. Once I got into a job and things ended up getting busier I would end up feeling obligated to help out more even if it was cooking for them off the clock, or coming in to set up computers.

    I guess I just don't feel its right to belittle him from such a distorted point of view. He could totally be a bum, don't get me wrong.

    I know money is important to an extent but I would much rather hang out with people that share interests with me (which don't really include cars, clothes, or man purses).

    I guess it has to do with the way my parents raised me and my brother.
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    Apr 25, 2011 9:06 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidHe never grew up.

    Correct.