I'm gay before I’m anything else

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 25, 2011 11:55 PM GMT
    Larry Kramer"I am a gay person before I’m anything else. I’m a gay person before I’m a white person, before I’m a Jew, before I’m a writer, before I’m American, anything. That is my most identifying characteristic and I don’t find many people who would say that. The polls say the same thing: People do not identify themselves as gay. And that’s too bad. In fact, it’s tragic. It will prevent us from ever having what we deserve, I believe."
    - Larry Kramer, in an interview with Salon.

    discuss!
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    Apr 25, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    I'm cooking dinner before anything else.
    Then I might go out for a drink.
    If some hot stud hits on me, THEN I'll be gay.
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    Apr 25, 2011 11:59 PM GMT
    he has a point.. all be it a sad one. Not because this is what he believes but because it's what he needs to believe.

    While I can try and take the higher ground on the idea because my sexuality is only a small part of what makes me who I am.. it is those who generally live with there own sexuality on there sleeve that seem to get the things our community so desires.

    At least from my experience anyway.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    i didn't read the whole thing hahaha, so, edited this


    he's right about it, people are afraid to admit they want something and therefore never get it.
  • disasterpiece

    Posts: 2991

    Apr 26, 2011 12:05 AM GMT
    bhp91126 said
    Larry Kramer"I am a gay person before I’m anything else. I’m a gay person before I’m a white person, before I’m a Jew, before I’m a writer, before I’m American, anything. That is my most identifying characteristic and I don’t find many people who would say that. The polls say the same thing: People do not identify themselves as gay. And that’s too bad. In fact, it’s tragic. It will prevent us from ever having what we deserve, I believe."
    - Larry Kramer, in an interview with Salon.

    discuss!


    This is the eternal assimilationnist/liberationnist debate. Wether we want to be recognize as normal people or different (but acceptable) people is something that has always divized the movement.

    I think that it's the actual debate that is causing trouble to the community, not the fact that we aren't all liberationnists.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:12 AM GMT
    It's valid and respectable. It's not the paramount of how I define myself, but anyone is free to choose.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:13 AM GMT
    I am kind of with him on that, except I say I'm a person and then list off all the other traits. See me as a person with flaws and all, but know that one characteristic doesn't define me across the board. There are exceptions.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:14 AM GMT
    That's very gay.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:18 AM GMT
    Some guys say, and I seem to hear it here more often, that being gay is just one part of him, trying to downplay the importance of it in his life. While I will agree that is just one part of who we are, it is a very important part. Because I am gay, I am spending my life with a man, the most important and influential person in my life. Being gay is a very big factor in what determines the person I am.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:32 AM GMT
    I am a human being before anything else. I am a black man when OTHER people make it an issue. I am a gay man when OTHER people make it an issue. I am a middle-aged man when OTHER people make it an issue. I am a lot of things singularly, but I am greater than the sum of those parts.

    Larry Kramer was called to do what he started and I am thankful. Not all of us have the voice to speak. Not all of us have the courage to lead. But those of us who do have a duty to do so for those who can't.
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    Apr 26, 2011 12:51 AM GMT

    lol, who you love is a very great part of who you are. If being gay keeps getting reduced down to merely a sexual urge, like masturbation, small wonder guys say it is only a small part of who they are.

    -Doug
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Apr 26, 2011 1:03 AM GMT
    Maybe the issue he's trying to make here is that, to the mainstream, we are gay before we are anything else, once we come out of the closet.

    And you know, he may have a very valid point if that's the one he's making...after all, it's quite common to find gay guys, especially on a website like this one, refer to themselves as "straight acting." It's almost as if there is a need to indicate that we're gay...there is an equal need to admit that we're not THAT gay that you'd notice just by looking at us.

    All of which suggests that to many more than would probably admit this, being gay is the first thing they are...or perhaps more appropriately, they believe is the first thing they are in the eyes of others who know of their sexual orientation.

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    Apr 26, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    I am happy to say I am gay, if I'm asked, but no, it does not make up totally who I am and I don't believe in towing the party line to accommodate others' beliefs or ideas.

    If you want to be gay first, that's great - for you..........but that is not me..........Keithicon_wink.gif
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Apr 26, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    Homowardbound saidI am happy to say I am gay, if I'm asked, but no, it does not make up totally who I am and I don't believe in towing the party line to accommodate others' beliefs or ideas.

    If you want to be gay first, that's great - for you..........but that is not me..........Keithicon_wink.gif


    Um...your nick on here...seems to contradict your point almost completely Homowardbound! LOL
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    Apr 26, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    He doesn't have a point at all. I'm going to go ahead and assume that everyone on this site feels that they were born gay... So you would like to identify yourself as something that you had no control over? Lame. Maybe if you're a human rights activist...brag about that. If you've won the Nobel Prize--go ahead and let the world know. If you're gay or you have green eyes...congrats? You sure did a great job getting out of that uterus.
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    Apr 26, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    PotatoPotato saidHe doesn't have a point at all. I'm going to go ahead and assume that everyone on this site feels that they were born gay... So you would like to identify yourself as something that you had no control over? Lame. Maybe if you're a human rights activist...brag about that. If you've won the Nobel Prize--go ahead and let the world know. If you're gay or you have green eyes...congrats? You sure did a great job getting out of that uterus.


    Well now wait a second...I think you've really jumped the gun on this one!

    Why shouldn't people feel proud enough of being gay that they can say, without patronizing condemnations from other gays, that they are gay first and foremost? There are members of the gay community who have been fighting for the rights of all of us for decades now!

    Indeed, I think that this will continue to be a generational divide: older gays, who remember the world as it used to be, likely also remember to a greater extent the times when they were cast out by their families, shunned by their friends, excommunicated by their churches, beaten down and harassed not only by bashers, but also by cops, fired from jobs, denied housing, etc...

    That these guys built a community that often supplanted the family ties that they were cast out of and created public awareness and a support structure to advocate for gay rights would, in my opinion, give them significant reason to be "gay first and foremost," and I think that calling that lame is actually quite ignorant!

    I think the reality is that it was these people who effected the changes over the last two generations which have allowed many younger people to make what I think is an even MORE PATHETIC statement about their sexual orientation. Tell me if this sounds familiar: "I don't believe in labels."

    Sorry, but if you're going to put me on the spot and ask me which sounds lame, I'm afraid I'm always going to say that it's the group of gays who either say they "don't believe in labels," or the group that stresses they are "straight acting gays!"

    And no...I am not gay first and foremost...but whilst I was born gay, learning to accept myself was a more grueling ordeal...and so I do take some pride in the fact that I am gay...and I am still here, running this race, and living this life!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    Not really. I'm a lot more than my sexuality, although that's a big part of me.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Apr 26, 2011 2:48 AM GMT
    I don't think any gay person denies their sexual identity, that said I doubted very much that being gay is all that we are!


    Leandro ♥
  • AFGGuy

    Posts: 32

    Apr 26, 2011 2:54 AM GMT
    Larry Kramer is a good man that has helped gay community, but this statement applies to his priorities in life. For example, before anything else in my life, I am an honest man.

    @Potatopotato

    Thats some assumption dude....
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    Apr 26, 2011 3:03 AM GMT
    In the words of my favorite composer...

    [Addressing Prince Lichnowsky] "Prince, what you are you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am through my own efforts. There have been thousands of
    princes and will be thousands more; there is only one Beethoven!"

    -Ludwig van Beethoven
  • BeerIsYummy

    Posts: 65

    Apr 26, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    I have to disagree. When I think of the core, essential aspects of me, gay is a predominant one, but not the top on. Let me put it this way.

    If I had to chose being gay over my my mother (i.e. if I had to chose a life of never being attracted to anyone and falling in love or never have had my mother in my life) I would chose my mother. I'm a son before a gay man.

    If I had to chose being gay over being a writer, I'd chose to be a writer. Being gay probably wouldn't get picked until 5 traits later. I'm a writer before a gay man.

    When I think of the basic aspects of my life, being gay is important, but not the ultimate one. Me being a writer is going to come up in a conversation long before me being gay. Not because I'm ashamed or want to hide it. I'm open to everyone I know, but because it doesn't effect me like other traits do.
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    Apr 26, 2011 3:20 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    lol, who you love is a very great part of who you are. If being gay keeps getting reduced down to merely a sexual urge, like masturbation, small wonder guys say it is only a small part of who they are.

    -Doug



    I couldn't agree more.
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    Apr 26, 2011 3:27 AM GMT
    bhp91126 said
    Larry Kramer"I am a gay person before I’m anything else. I’m a gay person before I’m a white person, before I’m a Jew, before I’m a writer, before I’m American, anything. That is my most identifying characteristic and I don’t find many people who would say that. The polls say the same thing: People do not identify themselves as gay. And that’s too bad. In fact, it’s tragic. It will prevent us from ever having what we deserve, I believe."
    - Larry Kramer, in an interview with Salon.

    discuss!


    These types disgust me the most.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    I AM RUDY before anything else.
    My orientation, gender, race, status, etc., all that are colorful facets of my personality and my spirit.
    One facet doesnt make a diamond.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Apr 26, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin saidI AM RUDY before anything else.
    My orientation, gender, race, status, etc., all that are colorful facets of my personality and my spirit.
    One facet doesnt make a diamond.



    Soooooooo true!!!

    Leandro ♥