Fake RJ Profiles / People

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    Thought I would vent, and see if anyone has had a similar experience....or maybe help prevent this from happening to others in the future....

    Met a guy on RJ about a year ago. We started emailing back and forth outside of RJ....then chatting on the phone. We started to get closer, talking daily, and opening up more and more to each other...Difficult part being, as it is on here, he lived across the country. As things progressed, we attemtped to meet, but things kept coming up (on his end) that prevented it. I suspected he may be hiding something as months passed, but our bond seemed so close, that I never pressed it.

    Long story short....I finally caught him in a lie, and when I finally called him out, I learned he had lied....about everything: His age, where he lived, his job, his family situation, his life....EVERYTHING....including his name!

    I was talking to someone daily on the phone, someone who I thought I could share anything with, and someone who was doing the same to me, who was completely lying to me. Every day. About every aspect of his life. He was essentially living a double life with me, and doing it so well, I couldn't tell. It makes me sick to think about.

    He told me had lied intiallyabout himself on RJ, hiding himself, thinking no relationship would ever come out of it, so it wasn't a big deal, but once we started getting close, it was too late to come clean. It was all a lie. And he was a too big of a p*ssy to come clean, so he let it drag on for months and months.

    Anyone else had an experience like this?
    My trust in the online community is nearly shattered, and would hope if there is anyone out there doing the same, they would think of the people they are/will/could hurt down the road.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    Welcome to the internet. Actually, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Take this experience as a lesson - do NOT place all of your eggs in one basket or in the context of this situation...do not place all of your trust in a virtual world.

    Now to answer your question directly:Anyone else had an experience like this?

    Yes I have experienced a situation like this. When I was 15... on msn...
    Chatted with a 20 year old man for about 6 months... 3 months in the trust we started having phone sex. It was great while it lasted, but not so great after I found out (on webcam) that this "20 year old man" was actually a 40 year old man.

    Not saying being 40 is "bad"... I was just shocked at how someone can be so comfortable with halving their age...

    Anyways, a proposed solution to this so you do not have to worry about encountering men like that ever again would be to request a cam to cam chat. CHAT... not orgy. IF they comply, then proceed to build a connection with them...since you have verified that their photos at least match and their personality in reality is somewhat in check with what they have written on their profile.

    If they refuse to cam, then DO NOT place ANY emotions into the man or the "relationship"... because for all you know "he" MAY not be who he says he is.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    you aint the first and you're not gonna be the last.... that's life on the interweeb. Consider it for "entertainment purposes only"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    Daninmad said

    Long story short....I finally caught him in a lie, and when I finally called him out, I learned he had lied....about everything: His age, where he lived, his job, his family situation, his life....EVERYTHING....including his name!



    That's really screwed up. Was his photo at least real? If not, what happened to his profile? Did you report him to the RJ admin? Flakes fakes are problems in Internet dating, but also in real life though. *shrugs* All I can say is I'm sorry about your experience...icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    Verified members only when dealing with online dating. There's ways to get around verification but that should handle 80% of the fakes out there.

    Cam chat after getting to know them or meet them in person shortly after making contact online so you're not wasting time. If they refuse to cam chat- no deal. Same with guys who refuse to meet in person.

    Finally, don't rely on the online dating realm either when you can get a better idea of who someone is with offline dating methods. A good combo of offline/ online dating works best to find a guy.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 26, 2011 6:26 AM GMT
    lol happens to everyone. i dont get what someone has to lie about like that but i guess some people r just weak minded and r fake all around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 6:27 AM GMT
    beneful1 saidConsider it for "entertainment purposes only"


    Well, the point is to avoid letting something meaningless drag on. I don't believe in becoming like them. Because that's what those bad guys see people off the internet as. Entertainment. Which pretty much means they aren't taking anyone seriously. .
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 1:00 PM GMT
    Even though I only opened up an account a little over a year ago, I think Facebook is a good way to weed out the fakes.
    You can see what their writings are, what links and stories they like, where they went to school, if they communicate with their family....etc...

    I've Googled plenty of people. Can't hardly think you never Googled him or did the white or yellow pages....or looked up the business he is in or company he worked for.


    Or with an iPhone or Balckberry you never ever text each other pics? ? ?icon_eek.gif

    Did he ever post on the forum threads? That would be a clue if he never posted on a thread.



    I think the signs were there early on.....but you didn't want to know.



    I remember a friend of mine...the same thing happened....but this was in the late 90's. He went to the airport to pick the guy up....and he wasn't there.
    The phone was blocked and the email address was blocked.


    Chalk it up as a lesson learned.....


    Google yourself...and see how easy it is to find someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    Daninmad saidAnyone else had an experience like this?

    Many times, especially when I was using the gay chat rooms on AOL until 4 years ago. It isn't like everybody's doing it, but in any chat room group I'd join there'd seem to be at least 1 of these phonies at any given time.

    Fortunately I'm pretty good with trivia knowledge (my partner's always making fun of me for it), which is a good tool for catching guys in lies & mistakes. So is being able to see detail in posted photographs, that doesn't track with the online story. I also can detect writing styles, and so guys with multiple accounts, or who cancelled one for another, after they ruined their old one with lies, were fairly obvious to me. So I was never hurt by one of these guys.

    My usual steps are these: first, chat online long enough to establish some liking & confidence in the guy. Second, exchange pics. Third, talk on the phone. I can tell a lot by a guy's voice. Fourth, arrange to meet in person. I was never hurt doing that.

    I rarely vary that, although with RJ guys coming here to south Florida or are residents, where we're just meeting for drinks or coffee to be sociable, my partner along, I tend to skip most of that. Every single RJ member I've met has been perfectly true to his profile, and the pics current & accurate. Plus very pleasant guys to meet, I might add. BTW, did you say if this RJ liar of yours was Verified here or not?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 8:48 PM GMT
    There was one guy on here who I would talk to. He seemed cool, and he would get upset if I didnt innitiate contact enough.

    I told him that since we lived far away it was hard, and that a webcam might help. He never replied when I asked to set up a time.

    So yea, it happens, dont place too much into guys until you meet them face to face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 7:40 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    So yea, it happens, dont place too much into guys until you meet them face to face.


    It's hard to agree with you after you dished me out in another thread, but...I agree with you on this one LOL.

    Until you've met the person face to face there should 0 and we mean 0 emotional connection going on. You shouldn't even lose sleep over it. Yes it's tough, but if it doesn't go that far then there's nothing there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 5:06 PM GMT
    I'm actually a fake.

    Advice:
    Always ask them to go on cam so that you know that they're 'real-' or ask them to take a picture with them holding a piece of paper with their screen name (or yours) written on it.
    Most mobile phones have cameras attached- so that shouldn't be a problem.

  • Jan 23, 2015 12:46 AM GMT
    Yes, its happened to me ,probably more times than Im aware of...
    I was new to being online a year ago when I got this account on realjock and made all kinds of mistakes by telling where I worked at (a local fraternity), which was also where I live. Next thing I knew, 2 different men flew across theUS to meet me ,without my invitation.
    I only knew one of them was here because he messaged me saying," You are more handsome in person."... He had been at my gym and I didnt realize it because he looked nothing like his profile - hair color, height, etc... nothing matched.Even so, he was a nice guy but I told him that I was on to him. I imagine he just really wanted a connection with someone and thought there was no harm in white lies. But I really didnt dig him interfering with my life by inviting himself here.
    Another experience is a guy calling himself cumshootergayguy. Another member warned me about him after having met him in person in Germany. His profile pics are of a GORGEOUS ,muscular blonde 24 year old... in reality, he is a "plain looking, middle-aged man" ,according to the other member...
    These experiences are why I got verified a few weeks ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2015 4:57 AM GMT
    It happens... A LOT.

    Happened to me too, not on RJ, but on match.com.

    I blame myself a little for being too vulnerable and too open to things early on when i was "on the prowl" again... Seemed like a nice guy, nice pix... Lots of great phone calls... But when i went to meet him face to face, the "36" year old guy was actually 63.

    Stolen pix from from site i had never head of at that time called "real jock" and totally catfished me.

    Learn from it... Grow from it. Not everyone online is fake.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Jan 23, 2015 5:25 AM GMT
    Life is full of lessons. Some of them suck. At least it didn't cost you much. Well maybe a little bit of your pride for being taken advantage of your trusting nature. On the other hand, you grew up a little more. So you can be thankful for that. Maybe next time do a little research and google them.
  • Zigs_01

    Posts: 226

    Jan 23, 2015 6:44 PM GMT
    There's an easy way to get around this. Make sure you use have them sent you a photo with a timestamp on a card next to there face.This should allow proof if they are really the person they claim to be. Don't be so easily fool'd next time.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jan 23, 2015 7:17 PM GMT
    this is an old post from 2011