HELP, NEEEEEED ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Apr 26, 2011 4:07 PM GMT
    A little information about me: I am a senior at Georgetown, soon to enter the real world and IT'S SCARY. I have always been ambitious about my studies while making time to have a social life. I don't know what's in store for me because I am not going the usual route of grad school or moving to NYC that most of my friends pursue. What is bothering me is that my college friends most of who are also my facebook friends, not alot but about 190 friends after downsizing from 500, are updating on facebook about how they got in prestigious law schools, or bagged a job at top investment firms or are travelling to far away places for internships and it's making me feel like a loser.
    So far, 3 got into Harvard Kennedy School, 2 got into Oxford, 2 in Stanford Law School, 2 into Columbia Law School, 1 into Duke Law School, Michigan Law, Cornell Law, NYU Law, Georgetown, Northwestern, UCLA. LSE.

    Alot of them got into prestigious Medical Schools or received job offers from top investment firms in NYC, Tokyo, Hong Kong, London.

    Not to mention there are those who got into the World Bank (I don't know how they got in because it takes years of experience to be offered a job there), UN, TFA and 2 fullbrights and 1 Rhodes Scholar.

    I feel like such a loser. When would it be my turn to shine?

    Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like your peers have covered so much ground that there is so much expectation for you too? I feel energized to push myself further while at the same time, I feel angry at myself because here I am, making threads on RJ, asking for validations. Or reading other people's threads about "Would you want to see the guy above you take it off?" or "Anyone else scared that you might not find someone?" or "Do you Guys agree that most gay men just want sex and not a relationship" Gosh, I feel like such a loser.........icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 26, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    Ok I'll make it short and simple.

    First off, ignore what everyone else is talking about. Whatever your major/minor in regards to your program, see whatever job opportunities are out there. It won't be easy but definitely spread your resume around....

    If you don't feel ready for the real world see after graduate programs or masters that would help you specialize your skill set that your are particularly good at.

    Also research research research any firm/company that interests you, see what they want. Send emails to their HR and ask any questions you have in regards to their company and job employments...They will always keep you on file once you send it in. You may not get the job right away but in a year they might get back to you.

    Stay positive. It does take effort but it never hurts to network and also it never hurts to ask any of your friends if there is anything available...Sometimes a job is presented to them but they may not take it. So instead ask them if they can defer it to you.

    It is scary but you will preserve. Look I'm 27 and only now that I begining to see where my future label is heading but I also know that I must take the bull by the horns and steer it to that path I envision myself to be me.

    You can email me here anytime if you like. I don't mind sending out an encouragement or two.

    Best of Luck!!
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 26, 2011 6:47 PM GMT
    dont worrying about what everyone else is doing hun icon_rolleyes.gif
    u need to worry about what you're going to do after graduation? Look for a job, go traveling, etc. Dont worry about joe blow and him getting into harvard law school....who cares. Honestly, dontlike half the kids that start law school drop out anyway?????


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 6:51 PM GMT
    I had a lot of friends from college become really confused when I told them that I didn't want to go to grad school. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA in software engineering, and had an offer to go work for GE Healthcare and have them pay for my education through a PhD level through a program that 2 people in the country are accepted to every year...

    That wasn't my dream though. Instead, I moved out to the mountains to snowboard and mountain bike. I now build websites and web software for ski resorts, and I've never been happier. I'm living my dream.

    What is your dream?
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    Apr 26, 2011 7:07 PM GMT
    hangulmal saidA little information about me: I am a senior at Georgetown, soon to enter the real world and IT'S SCARY. . . . What is bothering me is that my college friends most of who are also my facebook friends, . . . are updating on facebook about how they got in prestigious law schools . . . .

    I feel like such a loser. When would it be my turn to shine?


    Just so that you know, admission to law school - even a really prestigious one - is no guarantee of success in today's world. I work for a huge, worldwide firm and our hiring straight out of law school is a fraction of what it was a few years ago. I go to recruiting functions and meet lots of bright, personable soon-to-be-law-school-graduates who are desperate to find a job, any job.

    So, your friends may just be postponing a reckoning you are already wrestling with. By the time they get there you may already have it all figured out. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    If you define your success based on what your friends are doing, then prepare yourself for a lifetime of misery.
    Nowhere in your post did you mention what your passions are. Figure out what you would love to do with your life and follow that path.

    hangulmal said
    I feel like such a loser.


    If you mean loser because you overuse the exclamation mark, then I'll have to agree with you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    Ermine saidIf you mean loser because you overuse the exclamation mark, then I'll have to agree with you.


    The overuse of vowels is what got me. It just means the title is supposed to be SCREAMED REALLY LOUDLY!!!!!!!!
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    Advice: use less icon_exclaim.gif Then I would read your post.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:20 AM GMT
    Don't worry about these things. It sounds cliche, but try hard at what you want to do. Additionally, you don't know these people in person. They maybe lying. Look at it this way, if your friends are doing all these things you are probably at a prestigious school already. This is why it looks bad for you.

    This is not the case with the avg. college grad. They struggle for jobs in an oversupplied market. Look among your contacts, they are probably from the same social class and education circles as you. From what you describe there are maybe 20-30 people who are this successful. What about the rest of them?

    I have 5 friends who graduated medical school with me and now stay home with their children like the woman from Harvard Law. One of them even completed the beast from hell year known as internship. It's a shame, but oh well. They are happy.

    What are you wanting to do with your life?

    This purity person is getting smarter and smarter!
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    Apr 27, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    There is a movie that you need to see if you have not seen it already.




    The Road Not Taken

    - Robert Frost

    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could
    To where it bent in the undergrowth;

    Then took the other, as just as fair,
    And having perhaps the better claim
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
    Though as for that the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same,

    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black.
    Oh, I marked the first for another day!
    Yet knowing how way leads on to way
    I doubted if I should ever come back.

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.




    BTW: It is not about the money or prestige. We only have one life. Experience yours in the manner you want, not because of what you see others do. We all end up in the same place in the end. Focus on what it important to you and live it. What you want, may change over time, and that is ok as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    Pyrotech saidI had a lot of friends from college become really confused when I told them that I didn't want to go to grad school. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA in software engineering, and had an offer to go work for GE Healthcare and have them pay for my education through a PhD level through a program that 2 people in the country are accepted to every year...

    That wasn't my dream though. Instead, I moved out to the mountains to snowboard and mountain bike. I now build websites and web software for ski resorts, and I've never been happier. I'm living my dream.

    What is your dream?


    __________________________________________________________


    You hit it head on here !! "what is your dream"?

    Find what you love to do and do that, don't spend a minute grading yourself by what has come about in other's lives, Its yourself that you have to deal with, your expectations, the things you love, only you can live that, and you cannot be fulfilled trying to live the way others do. I'll bet your top quality just as you are too, so remember that when you look in the mirror or think of yourself.
  • Doug688

    Posts: 29

    Apr 27, 2011 3:36 AM GMT
    Times are tough. The U.S. will shortly lose its number one world economy to China. Our country has been on a decades long fantasy trip where every American expects to have a managerial or equivalent job just because they were born here; yet there are few who have the skills to do things like plumbing or pottery. The reality check started two years ago with the financial meltdown and you are just experiencing the next wave: few if any jobs, especially for the rich lifestyle you have been deluded into expecting. Your passion is what will save you. From my perspective at the sunset of my career, I can tell you that most people don't get to work at their undergraduate major (especially the fluff majors like women's studies or English which have no connection to a real world job at all). In 1970 I graduated as a French major with a minor in Russian and went straight into a PhD program in Romance languages and literature. After two years and an M.A. I found a job as a data processing clerk for $125 a week in Manhattan. I ended up after two years of that going back to school to become a teacher which was not easy or lucrative, but better suited to me. Get out of the shit the show-offs are shoveling and find something real to do. Cultivate your adaptability (I've seen typewriter companies go out of business as computers emerged; video stores are going bankrupt with internet competition, etc.). Don't get discouraged, get creative. icon_smile.gif
  • hawkeye7

    Posts: 565

    Apr 27, 2011 3:43 AM GMT
    It is your life and your journey.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    do what everyone else is recommending. convince yourself that you are not fucked. cause you know, that always pays the bills.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    hangulmal saidWhen would it be my turn to shine?
    When you stop basing your success on what "Facebook friends" are doing.
    Most people on there (and on the internet in general) just type bullshit to sound big anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    When you hit rockbottom, remember that one day we will all be dead.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Apr 27, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Ermine saidIf you define your success based on what your friends are doing, then prepare yourself for a lifetime of misery.




    ^^^^ This is great advice ^^^^ Follow your instincts, heart, and passion and they should lead you where you want to go.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Probably the best advice I can offer would be your grammar and punctuation.

    Specifically, I think perhaps a single exclamation point would suffice.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:59 AM GMT
    Consider this:

    At 21, 22, very few people really know what they want to do.

    These are extremely driven kids (I too live in DC and am in a doctoral program so I know what it's like here) who immediately apply for big positions or grad programs around the country.

    Sure, they get in.... but at 21, 22 years old.... many of your friends will become attorneys or big deal investment people.... and they will HATE what they do, although they make a lot of money. They will work endless hours and sacrifice time and relationships for their jobs. Again, there are tons of people for whom grad school / law school is this automatic thing.

    Grad school was not automatic for me. I vacillated between becoming an airline pilot (I do love flying and travel).... and becoming a psychologist. Two totally different dreams of mine.

    I thought about it for two whole years while working simultaneously at a psych hospital (gaining work experience for grad school) while considering dropping that for flight school in florida to become a pilot.

    In the end, I chose to become a psychologist for many reasons. (Which I wont spell out here bc it's not that relevant)..... I love what I do, and I really get satisfaction and enjoyment out of my training most of the time. Most people are not as lucky in that respect.

    So.... follow your dreams. Take your time and figure out what YOU want. Don't be a sheep. icon_smile.gif Just do your thing!
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    Apr 27, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    I'd concur with what's being said here. I'm a career consultant and work with many people, and really it all starts with that does success look like for you? Being the person with the big prestigious job is only one way to measure success.

    You might have been taking college time to just get used to being on your own, and that's okay. I've worked with many people who "had it all figured out" coming out of college, and then discover 5-10 years later that they are miserable and they chuck it all because their souls have been eaten away by doing something that doesn't serve them. Granted, there are a number of people who know what they want at an early age and work towards that, but then there are the rest of us.

    I'd also recommend checking out the "Advice to 20 somethings from guys in their 30's and 40's" thread. There's a lot of wisdom there that might help you get perspective.

    Remember, you're special, but you're not unique. You'll be fine, and you have a lot of your life ahead to figure it out.
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    Apr 27, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    Also, I highly recommend not going into graduate school straight out of undergrad. Take some time, get some experience, and then know exactly what grad program will help you get there (if you actually need it).

    I've seen too many people finish a grad program and realize it's not what they want, and then go for another. A great waste of time, money and energy.
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    Apr 27, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Ermine saidIf you define your success based on what your friends are doing, then prepare yourself for a lifetime of misery.


    you need to live your live not that of your peers.

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    Apr 27, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    Agreed. I did grad school right out of college and possibly set myself in the wrong direction with that move.

    Give yourself time, a year or two to come up with plans while you get some RL experience.

    Ignore what the other Facewhores are flaunting. People love to make themselves sound like rock stars on favebook. And even if your friends are really accomplished, this is your life and your achievement in it is measured by how happy you are and how well you pursued your dreams, made a difference, helped someone who really needed help, absorbed adversity and shone back compassion into the world and left a better place than you found.

    It is not a race. And if it a race, the race is with yourself no one else.

    If you want to be all competitive and care what others are doing, that's fine as long as it lights the fire in you that makes you work harder and not the fire that burns you up with feelings of loserville....

    This is an awesome time in your life, believe me it is, don't ruin it for yourself for no reason. Enjoy your youth years full of possibilities

    :-)
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    Apr 27, 2011 7:33 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    hangulmal saidWhen would it be my turn to shine?
    When you stop basing your success on what "Facebook friends" are doing.
    Most people on there (and on the internet in general) just type bullshit to sound big anyway.


    ^THIS!!!!
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    Apr 28, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    matt45710 saidAlso, I highly recommend not going into graduate school straight out of undergrad. Take some time, get some experience, and then know exactly what grad program will help you get there (if you actually need it).

    I've seen too many people finish a grad program and realize it's not what they want, and then go for another. A great waste of time, money and energy.


    Yep...but it is one of life's lessons. I remember hearing about a medical doctor that switched to photography. He was much happier and very successful at it. icon_smile.gif