My Virginity...Does it mean anything?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    Hey guys I am hoping you can give me some insight and your opinions on this thought that is making me crazy!

    So I am 19, never really had a serious relationship, except for a short 6 week relationship, but aside from that it's just been fooling around with boys.
    Just kissing and oral if anything...I have never had anal sex with a guy.

    The reason I am writing on here is because I met this guy who I think I might enjoy having sex with. The problem is I feel guilt for some odd reason. Maybe its the fact that I really wanted to only have sex with ONE man and one man only. Maybe the other is that my best friend is always commending me how she thinks it is so good that I am waiting for the right person to lose my virginity with. The funny thing is I do not really feel like a virgin. I mean sure I haven't had anal sex but I have done just about everything else! This makes me feel like less of a virgin and furthermore, I hate the fact that I am judged on my virginity but am scared to lose it.


    Feedback and opinions would GREATLY be appreciated. Hope to hear from the awesome RJ community soon!
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    Apr 27, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    I think the general rule of thumb is if you feel guilty, don't do it.
    Sex is great and all, but like most things, if you aren't ready for it rushing into it isn't going to make it better.
    If your gut is telling you something you should probably listen. Then again just being with this guy you mentioned might change your guts mind. Have you expressed your interest in this guy? If not ask him out and see where it goes from there.
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    Apr 27, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    Sex is like....special baseball. There's nothing wrong with waiting to play it, and if it's important to you then you shouldn't let anyone influence the decision.

    That being said, special baseball, is baseball. If you've never done it, don't expect to hit home runs on your very first try. Physical skills need to be practiced and honed.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 27, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    I think you should consider how you define "the right guy". Does it mean someone you will spend the rest of your life with? or someone that respects you enough to not just consider sex with you a hit and run situation? Maybe it means a guy who understands what this will mean for you and not take it lightly.
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    Apr 27, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    Yaho0 - Thanks for the sound advice, and not it is actually this guy that has expressed the interest in sex. I would just hate to end up being used JUST for sex

    Ariodante - Thanks man that is perfect advice! I will be sure to play "special baseball" when and ONLY when I am ready to play ha!

    Timbales - Well ideally, the "right guy" would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with...or at the VERY LEAST someone who I am in a serious relationship with
  • Timbales

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    Apr 27, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    BonafideDreamer said

    Timbales - Well ideally, the "right guy" would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with...or at the VERY LEAST someone who I am in a serious relationship with


    don't feel you need to do something you aren't sure you want to do because others expect it of you
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    Apr 27, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    Timbales said
    BonafideDreamer said

    Timbales - Well ideally, the "right guy" would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with...or at the VERY LEAST someone who I am in a serious relationship with


    don't feel you need to do something you aren't sure you want to do because others expect it of you


    Very true...this is one of those things I have to make my own decision on...not based on others' expectations...thanks!
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    Apr 27, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    My advice is to keep the v-card as long as you can until you find the right person to appreciate your decision-making processes. Although you are still very young, you have still held off a lot longer than most of your peers, so some people are just not going to get it and not value the experience you have to offer them - something pleasant and memorable, as opposed to something you will always look back on as a mistake.

    With grindr, the other websites, and a bottle of tequila it would definitely be easy to just throw it away one day. Or instead of feeling restricted, restrained, and wearing the scarlet letter of V (but not the cool V for Vendetta kind) on your chest you can just turn it into a positive attribute for yourself that you have self-control, you are discriminating (not picky,) and goal driven to find the perfect candles lit, rose petals on the ground, Zero7 playing on the iPod, no webcams going, v-card losing experience.

    /devil on your shoulder
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    Apr 27, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    BonafideDreamer saidYaho0 - Thanks for the sound advice, and not it is actually this guy that has expressed the interest in sex. I would just hate to end up being used JUST for sex

    Ariodante - Thanks man that is perfect advice! I will be sure to play "special baseball" when and ONLY when I am ready to play ha!

    Timbales - Well ideally, the "right guy" would be the one I would spend the rest of my life with...or at the VERY LEAST someone who I am in a serious relationship with


    Well I'm just trying to figure out, where are you 2 at this point in the relationship? Have you all dated yet or is this a first time meet and it's supposed to just be about sex?

    If you guys have been getting to know each other and you feel comfortable I would say go ahead with it. I think it's just important to kind of let him know how you feel and see what his response is..
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    Apr 27, 2011 1:55 AM GMT
    Don't do anything your not ready to.

    But when you are ready, don't be afraid. Jump in and play around. Its a learning experience. Even my parents taught me that its not going to be definite the first couple of times you do it, no matter what kinda guy you are.
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    What everyone else has said,

    if it feels right, then go on, if you're not sure, wait,
    the "right guy" won't ask you to rush or do something you are not ready to do,
    don't let anybody tell you differently
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    Sex can be very enjoyable without anal penetration. No need to do it if you're not comfortable with it yet. If you're thinking of bottoming, you may want to experiment on your own a little bit first.
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:31 AM GMT
    Theres no cake for holding on to your virginity the longest, the most you'll get is thanks & a cookie if you did a good job...

    Just do it, get it over with and enjoy life
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    dopitt saidIf you're thinking of bottoming, you may want to experiment on your own a little bit first.


    Hmmm, some people find it easier to bottom when there's a body attached to the object...Sticking a cucumber or dildo up there lacks the sexual aura so it would more than likely hurt even more as pain subsides during true sexual arousal.

    OK maybe that's a bit too much for a virgin!
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:32 AM GMT
    I think you should have sex when you feel ready. It means something when it is with someone who is special, but it also feels good when you are simply just having sex for sex.

  • wellwell

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    Apr 27, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    I admire your having waited.
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    wellwell saidI admire your having waited.


    I agree. Wait until you 'feel' that you are ready and take it from there.

    Also, think with your big brain and not you 'little' brain if you know what I mean. Men can, at times, as we've all experienced, switch to 'penis mind' rather than using their normal state of mind.
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:46 AM GMT
    BonafideDreamer saidSo I am 19, never really had a serious relationship, except for a short 6 week relationship, but aside from that it's just been fooling around with boys.
    Just kissing and oral if anything...I have never had anal sex with a guy.

    The reason I am writing on here is because I met this guy who I think I might enjoy having sex with. The problem is I feel guilt for some odd reason. Maybe its the fact that I really wanted to only have sex with ONE man and one man only. Maybe the other is that my best friend is always commending me how she thinks it is so good that I am waiting for the right person to lose my virginity with. The funny thing is I do not really feel like a virgin. I mean sure I haven't had anal sex but I have done just about everything else! This makes me feel like less of a virgin and furthermore, I hate the fact that I am judged on my virginity but am scared to lose it.


    Well if you have done "just about everything else" than your really not a virgin. Who ever said a guy needs to have anal sex to lose his virginity. There doesn't have to be penetration involved to lose your virginity. This may be true for women, but not for men. Women may need to have hymen break to lose their virginity so penetration makes sense. Guys don't need too. So if you had oral sex, which is sex, than your really not a virgin anymore.
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    Your first time should be with a guy who you actually like. He should be a person who is gentle, sweet, nice, and patient. There's gonna be stuff that he'll need to show you, and an impatient prick will just fuck you and leave. And that, buddy, is the most horrible feeling you'll experience (so I've been told).

    Don't whore your first time out, you've got your entire life to do that later lol!!!!! But you'll only get to do your first time once. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    BonafideDreamer said

    Feedback and opinions would GREATLY be appreciated. Hope to hear from the awesome RJ community soon!


    I lost my virginity at quite a young age. My advice would be to wait until you're ready and we you have someone special.

    I regret I didn't wait for someone special who treated me right. Once you loss your virginity, the rest doesn't matter. It's the first that counts the most., even the first time with someone you love.

    Best of luck, and don't let pressure get to you
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    Apr 27, 2011 2:50 AM GMT
    i_VAN saidTheres no cake for holding on to your virginity the longest, the most you'll get is thanks & a cookie if you did a good job...

    Just do it, get it over with and enjoy life

    I did good... can I have my cookie now?
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Apr 27, 2011 3:13 AM GMT
    i_VAN saidTheres no cake for holding on to your virginity the longest, the most you'll get is thanks & a cookie if you did a good job...

    Just do it, get it over with and enjoy life


    Meh. I'm waiting for the right guys to fuck me. I've topped but not bottomed.

    I'm in no rush, I may get no cake, but I don't get one for getting fucked by a random either.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:37 AM GMT
    Yeah, it means one thing, your ass is probably tight.
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:41 AM GMT
    Did i really join this site?
    Sounds like Sweet Sixteen!
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    Apr 27, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    BonafideDreamer saidMy Virginity...Does it mean anything?
    Yes, it means you haven't had sex yet.
    You will when you're ready.