friends and brother upset

  • melbguy2011

    Posts: 2

    Apr 27, 2011 9:43 AM GMT
    Since i got in a relationship with a guy that i love and makes me happy what it has been almost an year i have been having troubles with my brother and friends.

    My brother`s best friend is my ex and my partner does not get along with him what in my opinion its normal but my brother does not understand it and now he is avoiding my company as he does not want to hang around with me and my partner.

    Also when i approached him to ask what was going on he said that all my friends are complaining because i do not go out anymore with them. I am not a clubbing person when i am in a relationship and i always made it clear to them.

    I like my friends but and I love my partner. I don`t want to go out, I still call them but since i got in a relationship plus work i have been busy to catch up in a club.

    I am a person who likes to car his friends a lot and u sed to call them quiet often but since i met my partner i started to call them less.

    Am i doing something wrong or is it normal to happen? icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 9:58 AM GMT
    is your brother gay?
  • massbuildah

    Posts: 276

    Apr 27, 2011 10:38 AM GMT
    dude everything your doing is natural because you want to give your attention to the guy you are in a relationship with. But remember, you are also in a relationship with your brother and your friends, and if you do not feed those relationships they will survive. And if this thing with your guy does not work out they may not be around to help you pick up the pieces.
  • matt13226

    Posts: 829

    Apr 27, 2011 11:48 AM GMT
    I understand how your bf might not want to hang out with your ex but for your relationship to survive with your brother, your ex as a friend and your friends, then you need to hang out with all of them you don't have to clubbing. Make friday night pizza and board game night where your friend and brother and ex can come over hang out eat some pizza and have fun. If your friends won't compromise on that then they should have nothing to complain about you not wanting to hang out. I hope this all works out for you.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 27, 2011 12:45 PM GMT
    I'm assuming that if you spent time with your brother socially and your ex is a friend of his, he certainly is someone you have been close to over the years.

    He isn't just a friend, he's your brother. Take the initiative and spend some time. Clubbing doesn't have to be the objective, but your partner needs to understand that you need your brother (if possible) and the objective isn't the "ex". If your brother is critical of your partner, either have a serious conversation about his concerns or try to keep comments to a minimum
    by focusing on other unifying subjects.

    Sounds pretty tough. Good luck with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    This is very normal.. once in a partnership, it is normal and expected that the rest of the family and friends will be seen less (at least in western cultures I believe)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    I think most of us are aware that when our friends get hitched we will see them less. That being said, you should try to make some more time for them - you're still in a relationship with them too.

    You and your partner could go separate ways one day (not saying that you will) and that will be that. But your brother will always be your brother. You should always keep him close. Work that out first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2011 9:07 PM GMT
    Sound pretty normal, albeit more complicated with the brother and ex. thing.
    I'm sure if your brother was still in the honeymoon faze with someone, you wouldn't see him much.
    I say: set aside one day a month that's just for your friends and/or brother; you know, quality time.