How to accept myself?

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    Apr 28, 2011 3:14 AM GMT
    How do people expect me (who in the past couple years is just coming to terms with my sexuality) to accept myself when all I ever hear around campus or in society are words such as gay, fag, queer, homo and all this other derogatory stuff about gay people. It sucks being a minority everywhere I go and people making me feel wrong for being different.
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    Apr 28, 2011 3:45 AM GMT
    Because accepting yourself beats the alternative.
    At some point you'll see that it's an unnecessary use of time and energy to deny, try to change, or lie about a part of you that just is.

    I don't know how people make you feel wrong for being different. That's your issue. They may prefer you to be the same, but if you're different so what.
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    Apr 28, 2011 3:57 AM GMT
    Fuck them. That's the mentality I went with. I care more about the quality of my friends than the number of my friends. Just own it, that's what black people did with the n word. There's nothing wrong being a fag, you only feel that way.
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    Apr 28, 2011 3:59 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidHow do people expect me (who in the past couple years is just coming to terms with my sexuality) to accept myself when all I ever hear around campus or in society are words such as gay, fag, queer, homo and all this other derogatory stuff about gay people. It sucks being a minority everywhere I go and people making me feel wrong for being different.



    stop being a bitch , and just fucking accept ur gay ass as being gay, get over it.

    It's not the only trait u have is being gay, its not like u wake up everyday having to suck a cock or kiss another hot, hairy man.

    Just say to urself "im gay" and accept it. It aint gonna change homie,
    so mine as well be happy and just accept it and be happy with it.




    thank me later boo icon_wink.gif
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 28, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    I don't want to go all Oprah on anyone, but I've found the hardest part of "coming out" is accepting yourself for who you are. "Coming out" to others, at least to me, has been the easiest part of the process, albeit a never-ending process icon_neutral.gif. I don't recommend people come out until they themselves are ready.

    How do you arrive at such a destination?.... there is not set way to go about it. It's a truly unique, but lonely, journey I think most of us have taken. No one can make it for you. It's something that you have to do on your own. You can have friends help you along the way, but no one can make you accept yourself for who you are; only you can do that.

    The reactions that come with coming out can be hell on one's self-esteem, and I think people who have accepted who they are as individuals are best prepared to confront adversity. I've been fortunate enough to have really good experiences, but I know the 'bad' experiences are on their way... it's just a matter of time.

  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    Apr 28, 2011 4:39 AM GMT
    I you don't accept yourself, than nobody else will. Fuck others opinion.
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    Apr 28, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    QUOTEHow do people expect me (who in the past couple years is just coming to terms with my sexuality) to accept myself when all I ever hear around campus or in society are words such as gay, fag, queer, homo and all this other derogatory stuff about gay people. It sucks being a minority everywhere I go and people making me feel wrong for being different.


    What do you mean HOW? You don't have a choice. You can either accept yourself and enjoy your life, or you can wither away and regret everything you've done or haven't done in your death bed. You've got 80 years, which is no longer than the blink of an eye. Do you really want to waste it being miserable? If not, then you don't have a choice.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Apr 28, 2011 4:43 AM GMT
    You are being persecuted for qualities and traits you were born with. Just because they are not as obvious, as say, skin color, doesn't mean the problem exists with you. Discrimination is still discrimination. If all gay people had green skin, would those people who hurl insults be right? No, they'd still be wrong. And they're wrong now.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 28, 2011 4:51 AM GMT
    Rune said
    QUOTEHow do people expect me (who in the past couple years is just coming to terms with my sexuality) to accept myself when all I ever hear around campus or in society are words such as gay, fag, queer, homo and all this other derogatory stuff about gay people. It sucks being a minority everywhere I go and people making me feel wrong for being different.


    What do you mean HOW? You don't have a choice. You can either accept yourself and enjoy your life, or you can wither away and regret everything you've done or haven't done in your death bed. You've got 80 years, which is no longer than the blink of an eye. Do you really want to waste it being miserable? If not, then you don't have a choice.


    Rune is right. I think a huge factor for me was that I was denying myself a shot at happiness. I think after a while, you start to acknowledge that nothing will ever change with regard to your sexuality. You can be feel unhappy and live in shame, or acknowledge yourself for who you are and try to find happiness along the way - those were my options, as they were.
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    Apr 28, 2011 9:48 AM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidHow to accept myself?
    Learn to say this:
    south-park-cartman-screw-you-guys.jpg

    Then do this:
    screw%252Byou%252Bguys%252Bim%252Bgoing%
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    Apr 28, 2011 9:56 AM GMT
    What did it for me was meeting a great guy. I no longer cared what others thought because I truly felt happy the way I was/am. I assume that you're still in college. You won't experience that stuff very much after you're done with school.
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    Apr 28, 2011 12:37 PM GMT
    Good points by all the above.

    You don't get to choose, so you have to play the cards you've been dealt. You can either whine about it or you can learn to savor it. You are different. Being different will give you insights and experiences not open to the bland majority.

  • mybud

    Posts: 11836

    Apr 28, 2011 3:28 PM GMT
    If you have a good sense of your self and a good self esteem...You shouldn't give a flyin fuck what others think or feel about ya....Now go look into your mirror and say this to yourself....To thine own self be true.....BUD
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    Apr 28, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    This may sound harsh but I think your using other people as an excuse to not accept yourself. Why do they make a difference in you coming to terms with your sexuality?

    The other thing too, and take this what you will, is that they really mean no harm, and it's more intended as an insult to the person than to our community. Not saying that it is ok, but my friends call eachother gay or cocksucker all the time. When I came out, they called me straight and rugmuncher, just a thought.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 28, 2011 3:36 PM GMT
    We are all unique in one way or another. My sexuality is one part of who I am and what I do. There is always going to be something that may "exclude" you in others eyes... but their "eyesight" is what's the problem, not you.

    You can't base you self worth on what some others my assess, your intrinsic value can't be measured.
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    Apr 28, 2011 3:37 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidHow do people expect me (who in the past couple years is just coming to terms with my sexuality) to accept myself when all I ever hear around campus or in society are words such as gay, fag, queer, homo and all this other derogatory stuff about gay people. It sucks being a minority everywhere I go and people making me feel wrong for being different.


    Quit feeling sorry for yourself, and get on with life. Enjoy being gay. Like yourself. Stop with the nonsense of the self-loathing. Live life.

    Understand, YOU choose to be miserable, or not. Now, get your head out, get it on straight, and march forward. You dig guys? Big deal.

    Do you think, honestly, in a world of 7 BILLION folks, that your sexuality is of much consequence? Get over yourself.

    You need to take the approach that's it's great being you, and end your NEEDLESS misery. STOP IT.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Apr 28, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    FunCollegeDude saidHow do people expect me (who in the past couple years is just coming to terms with my sexuality) to accept myself when all I ever hear around campus or in society are words such as gay, fag, queer, homo and all this other derogatory stuff about gay people. It sucks being a minority everywhere I go and people making me feel wrong for being different.


    Take their comments in context.
    Perhaps I live in a unique situation, but I haven't heard a negative homosexual reference in quite a while. I hear the word gay constantly, but in context it's never used to reference sexuality.