Older Gay Role-Models

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 1:01 AM GMT
    Do any of the younger guys on here have older gay role models whom they look up to, ask for advice, can talk to about all sorts of situations, and consider part of your extended family?

    I have a group of gay men at my church whom I consider my family and two of them in particular I call my dads; well, dad and Mommie Dearest. icon_cool.gif I know that I can talk to them about anything, be it professional or personal, just like a dad. I consider them my dads because my biological father lives in Houston and my step-dad, as much as I love and care about him, doesn't really like me being gay. I really do love and care about them just like family.

    Thoughts and opinions appreciated.
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    Apr 29, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    Not really. I find that I sometimes have more experience than the older guy because he's still closeted or in the process of coming out and I've been out for 8 years. (since I was 14)

    I actually look up to my best friend, who is younger than me and female, more than I look up to any adults in my life.
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    Apr 29, 2011 1:27 AM GMT
    No.

    In my life, I've never had any good gay influences. Luckily I was born with an abundance of common sense and I was taught good morals.

    It would be nice..but I've sort of gotten the idea that old gay men are perverts and whores. It's not intentional, it's just the face of gay that's been shown to me.

    In my dreams, there are more gay people that don't sleep around, don't do drugs and aren't constantly leering at guys.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Apr 29, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    You mean like Caslon18000...? Yeah.....I kinda look up to him....icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    When I was younger there were a couple older guys I looked up to.
    ...till I realized they were just trying to get in my pants.

    Fortunately I was able to turn the friendship into a business deal.
    They ended up paying well. icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    Yup, as a very young guy and college student and even after that I had several gay men who were mentors and only just a couple of them were working me lol. Still in touch with those who are still kicking but not in the same part of the country. A crew of us in the Col. River Gorge and rural eastern WA and OR here have started adopting older/elderly gay men and couples to make sure they have what they need and folks to interact with and spend holidays with. Kinda reverse mentoring I guess.
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    Apr 29, 2011 6:35 AM GMT
    Yes!!! I make sure any older gay guy that trully wants to know me is trully looking out for my best interests and is not thinking through their dicks. I have enough people trying to get into my pants and knowing that the oldest of people can respect me is very comforting. =D

    I always ask for advice but its usually done in a private setting where I can feel comfortable and know that I can ask without being ashamed or stupid or weird or needy. I do my best to surroud myself with positive reinforcers who actually care.

    I've found quite a lot of older gay men to be fatherly. The ones that I can feel comfortable in that setting is important to me. Knowing that people out there do care and can be role models or people that gear me in the write direction means a lot.
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    Apr 29, 2011 6:36 AM GMT
    Yes, I forgot to add, if I could, I'd consider many of them to be fatherly figures. And I probably don't have it in me to let them know how much it means that they part of my life as fatherly figures. I appreciate them so much and should prolly let them know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 6:55 AM GMT
    Well, I'm too old to have a father like figure, so I play the other role. I know several young guys that feel comfortable with me. I feel like I can play that role with respecting them and gaining their trust by listening, talking and keeping confident what we discuss.
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Apr 29, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    i have an uncle who is gay who is in his sixties. i talk to him about all things gay
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    Apr 29, 2011 7:20 AM GMT
    There's virtually no older gay role models for me to look up to. They all either died of AIDS, or stayed hidden with their long term partner, or are just so demented that they never had a sexual lifestyle to die from AIDS from and were too unstable to have a stable relationship. It would be nice to see as many gay guys in their 50s as I see gay guys in their 20s.
  • pianoboi08

    Posts: 3

    Apr 29, 2011 7:21 AM GMT
    I'd love to have a role-model / figure to relate to, chat with, ask questions to, etc.

    I'd bet if alot of us had that type of person in our lives, it would instill a sense of community and a bit of knowledge transfer from generation to generation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 7:21 AM GMT
    I am my own gay role model, for real.
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    Apr 29, 2011 7:29 AM GMT
    malefeet saidYou mean like Caslon18000...? Yeah.....I kinda look up to him....icon_wink.gif


    HA HA! I always thought that guy's career as a counsellor never took off...

    Not so much now but my pal Donald was my big role model when I first came out, telling me who to avoid in Glasgow's claustrophobic gay scene, and telling me how things were. He's still a mate of mine.

    These days I like to think I'm a younger person's older role model!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 7:35 AM GMT
    Well RJ does have it's very own queen mother, but not sure I would look up to him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 7:36 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidThere's virtually no older gay role models for me to look up to. They all either died of AIDS, or stayed hidden with their long term partner, or are just so demented that they never had a sexual lifestyle to die from AIDS from and were too unstable to have a stable relationship. It would be nice to see as many gay guys in their 50s as I see gay guys in their 20s.


    But......the thing with middle age is that we now look down on you.
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    Apr 29, 2011 11:49 AM GMT
    Anduru saidNot really. I find that I sometimes have more experience than the older guy because he's still closeted or in the process of coming out and I've been out for 8 years. (since I was 14)


    Ahem. Cough, cough.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 11:52 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidThere's virtually no older gay role models for me to look up to. They all either died of AIDS, or stayed hidden with their long term partner, or are just so demented that they never had a sexual lifestyle to die from AIDS from and were too unstable to have a stable relationship. It would be nice to see as many gay guys in their 50s as I see gay guys in their 20s.


    You're too young to feel this way, there are plenty of older gay guys around who have blazed a trail for you.

    The generation above me truly did die out in large numbers - I have talked about it with my age cohorts and we agree that we feel like we're making it up as we go along, particularly about how to live in long term same sex relationships. When I meet an older guy who has actually been out for his entire life, I try to learn something.
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    Apr 29, 2011 11:58 AM GMT
    Kev1962 saidYup, as a very young guy and college student and even after that I had several gay men who were mentors and only just a couple of them were working me lol. Still in touch with those who are still kicking but not in the same part of the country. A crew of us in the Col. River Gorge and rural eastern WA and OR here have started adopting older/elderly gay men and couples to make sure they have what they need and folks to interact with and spend holidays with. Kinda reverse mentoring I guess.


    This is incredibly generous, thoughtful and kind. Bless you guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 12:15 PM GMT
    Hell yeah. icon_smile.gif. The older the better, i kinda wanna learn some "tricks" if ya know what i mean, im still suckish at trying to flirt around the right guy for me.. oooor not lusting. I'm thinking of following paulflexes footsteps one day(have an awesome big armz) icon_biggrin.gif and constantly groping it the way he does it. icon_eek.gif.. hahahha. but i don't wanna judge. I still wanna learn more!! icon_biggrin.gif. I <3 the old guys icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 2:15 PM GMT
    There are a few I can go to for limited advice on matters if I have timed it well. Unfortunately they all have their own demons - one is a constantly relapsing alcoholic, another is poorly managing his diabetes, and the other is HIV+ and seems to have lost interest in staying alive after his partner passed away earlier this year. They are a great brain trust when all their cylinders are firing.

    Unfortunately it takes a very long time to earn my trust and I don't have any older male influences to step into the queue. Trying to make advisor/older friends - as in the "touching me would be highly inappropriate" sort of friendship - with older guys has never borne fruit on the adam4adam/manhunt sites.

    So I generally have to figure things out for myself - common senseFAIL sometimes icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 3:46 PM GMT
    showme said
    Anduru saidNot really. I find that I sometimes have more experience than the older guy because he's still closeted or in the process of coming out and I've been out for 8 years. (since I was 14)


    Ahem. Cough, cough.

    I said sometimes you dickbutt. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:41 PM GMT
    I have a couple of older role gay role models in my life. They've been great friends. I would never call them dad or anything like that though.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:53 PM GMT
    There are many older gay men on this site that I look up to, and they are nice enough to advise and mentor me, whether that be in regards to lifting, sex, career and so forth.

    This site rules.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Apr 29, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    I totally take on the big brother role.
    It's hard for me not to, three real life brothers who aren't gay, so kinda always been doing it.

    I dont fuck these guys and have no urge (much as it's a great porno idea, taking someone's cherry is just a hassle honestly). I just provide a safe place to ask questions and someone to hang out with while they come to terms with what sort of gay person they want to be.