What the fuck is wrong with me?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:17 AM GMT
    Seriously.

    None of the guys I'm interested in reply to my texts anymore, my friends don't text me or rarely reply to my texts, so all I do is sit in my room alone wondering why everyone is ignoring me.

    It's not like I spam them with texts either, it'll be like "Hey, how's it going?" and if they don't reply within a couple days, I send them another "Hey, how's it going?"
    After that I leave them alone for at least a couple of weeks.
  • swedeinusa

    Posts: 285

    Apr 29, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    Nothing.

    So stop beating yourself up over it. Go get a massage and a basket of cake pops. It'll make you feel better.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Apr 29, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    ask them if they're masturbating. That will bait them into a convo
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    Anduru saidNone of the guys I'm interested in reply to my texts anymore, my friends don't text me or rarely reply to my texts, so all I do is sit in my room alone wondering why everyone is ignoring me.


    Try to take a break from your computer, phone, and anything that removes live interaction from human interaction. People are far more fickle via any communication device and can feel like you're trying to catch a fish when trying to have a conversation through any of these platforms. You'll get more response in person.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:22 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON saidTry to take a break from your computer, phone, and anything that removes live interaction from human interaction. People are far more fickle via any communication device and can feel like you're trying to catch a fish when trying to have a conversation through any of these platforms. You'll get more response in person.

    I can't exactly just go to their place and be like "hey what's up?"
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    Anduru said
    JAKEBENSON saidTry to take a break from your computer, phone, and anything that removes live interaction from human interaction. People are far more fickle via any communication device and can feel like you're trying to catch a fish when trying to have a conversation through any of these platforms. You'll get more response in person.

    I can't exactly just go to their place and be like "hey what's up?"


    Yeah that's true. I was thinking more or less going out somewhere, anywhere, in order to get the satisfaction of interacting with someone who will reciprocate. Technology can make you feel trapped at times because you know everyone is on it yet no one is responding to you when you want them to.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    ^^ I agree with Jake. And Andrew? I think you're the best! But you know that already icon_biggrin.gif. Therefore nothing's wrong with you. Just a rut that's all.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Where am I supposed to go and how am I supposed to interact with someone that I don't know? icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    Ask them or tell them "hey lets go get fucked up!" It usually baits them out for me haha or maybe just make new friends or go out with your mom and do something with her icon_lol.gif. Find a a hobby to do or take up a project or something I guess.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:41 AM GMT
    Create an event on facebook and invite the people you like? I do that often and I typically get at least 7-8 friends who come with. But these are mostly people from school though. They can make new friends too icon_smile.gif and you can tell them to bring a new friend as well icon_smile.gif. Now if the hets bothers you then we'll need to think of something else? icon_neutral.gif

    A_1991 saidAsk them or tell them "hey lets go get fucked up!" It usually baits them out for me haha or maybe just make new friends or go out with your mom and do something with her icon_lol.gif. Find a a hobby to do or take up a project or something I guess.
    +10! I do that too. LOL
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    JAKEBENSON said
    Anduru said
    JAKEBENSON saidTry to take a break from your computer, phone, and anything that removes live interaction from human interaction. People are far more fickle via any communication device and can feel like you're trying to catch a fish when trying to have a conversation through any of these platforms. You'll get more response in person.

    I can't exactly just go to their place and be like "hey what's up?"


    Yeah that's true. I was thinking more or less going out somewhere, anywhere, in order to get the satisfaction of interacting with someone who will reciprocate. Technology can make you feel trapped at times because you know everyone is on it yet no one is responding to you when you want them to.
    Exactly!
    So far today I've ignored like 5 phone calls and 3 text messages, just because I didn't wanna waste a shitload of time on the phone while interacting with people in real life. Now it's past midnight and I forgot to call/text those people back. Oops. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    A_1991 saidAsk them or tell them "hey lets go get fucked up!" It usually baits them out for me haha or maybe just make new friends or go out with your mom and do something with her icon_lol.gif. Find a a hobby to do or take up a project or something I guess.

    I don't drink and all my friends know that. icon_neutral.gif
    My mom lives in my hometown, and my hobbies include video games and shopping. I'm broke and I've played all the video games I own.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    cityaznguy saidCreate an event on facebook and invite the people you like? I do that often and I typically get at least 7-8 friends who come with. But these are mostly people from school though. They can make new friends too icon_smile.gif and you can tell them to bring a new friend as well icon_smile.gif. Now if the hets bothers you then we'll need to think of something else? icon_neutral.gif

    I have no problem with heterosexuals but I don't even have 7 or 8 friends.

    I'm very difficult to get along with because of my... "unique" personality so I don't have many friends to begin with.
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    Apr 29, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    I've found through personal experience and in coaching others in this kind of a situation that you need to start with "you". Everyone gives off a vibe of self esteem, self confidence, of integrity, etc. on different levels. You need to first establish your sense of self before you can give fully to a relationship, be it friends or more.

    Stop trying to communicate with these people that are clearly not worth/not interested in your time. If they decide to come around, they will. In the meantime, focus on you and living your life. You seem to me to be the artistic type, and you live in Toronto. There are likely tons of focus groups for artists of all types. Get involved. Meet some people with similar interests. Shed your old skin and start fresh.

    Join a running club (if they have them in Saskatoon, they've got to have them there), and go for early morning, afternoon, or evening jogs. You'd be surprised how well you can get to know someone when you jog alongside for any period of time (or go on your own just for the satisfaction of clearing your head and getting your daily dose of exercise) ** I'm not saying you need to lose weight, everyone knows it's necessary to get out and be active at least once a day.

    Yoga is another option. Keeps you toned and in shape, and relaxes the mind. Again, a great place to meet people. What are your hobbies? Take dance lessons. You seem outgoing, and shouldn't have any trouble meeting new people. I think it's your "old friends" that are holding you back. You're clinging to them when you really need to move on. There are too many people in this world for you to waste your time with some that don't value it.

    I'm rambling. Point is: stop pitying yourself; you exude that same pity and lack of self esteem. Confidence (not conceited or cocky, but confident) is attractive and for many, a turn on. You know you're good shit, so show it. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:03 AM GMT
    jerbear89 saidStop trying to communicate with these people that are clearly not worth/not interested in your time. If they decide to come around, they will. [artist groups in Toronto]

    [exercise]

    [yoga/dance] You seem outgoing, and shouldn't have any trouble meeting new people. I think it's your "old friends" that are holding you back. You're clinging to them when you really need to move on. There are too many people in this world for you to waste your time with some that don't value it.

    I'm rambling. Point is: stop pitying yourself; you exude that same pity and lack of self esteem. Confidence (not conceited or cocky, but confident) is attractive and for many, a turn on. You know you're good shit, so show it. icon_smile.gif

    So basically stop communicating with 90% of the people I know.

    I don't live downtown, it takes me an hour by public transit to get there, which is a huge trek when I am depressed and not interested in exercise or creating art.

    My hobbies are pretty much just video games and fashion, both of which I'm losing motivation for.

    I don't have any "old" friends. The longest friendships I have have only been a year or two long.

    I literally just got told by a friend (who FINALLY replied to my texts), and I quote, "You seem pretty fearless so that's gotta work in your favor." I don't have any problem with being outgoing and confident if I'm with someone I know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    I wouldn't call one-way texts to 90% of the people you know "communicating", with all due respect. What good are "friends" if they're never interested in doing "friend" things, or even keeping in touch? This being said, yes. I want you to stop initiating contact with them.

    And in regards to your being depressed and thus not wanting to venture out, sitting where you are continuing to be depressed is not going to solve anything. And you certainly won't meet anyone hiding in your basement.

    Online is a nice escape, you have people you can chat with here, but you can't/shouldn't let it consume you. You live in one of the largest, most diverse cities in the world and you're wasting it. I know this sounds harsh, but nothing you want is going to be easy; you have to work for it. Take it from the guy who's dreamed of abs instead of rolls since he was 16 and 210 pounds.

    Life isn't easy, or fair, but it is yours to live, and only you can decide how you're going to do that. You say you're broke, and you've played all your video games. So sell them. Use the money to buy a membership somewhere, a gym, a club, anything, even if it's just for a month. I can almost guarantee more good will come out of that than if they continue to sit on your shelf.

    What do you do for work? Do you not enjoy the company of any of your coworkers? Perhaps you need to start looking for a new, or 2nd job. And in regards to your "old" friends, I meant old as in "up until this point in your life". Wipe the slate clean, unless they kick up a fuss and would like to stick around. Friends that don't associate or keep in touch with you are worse than no friends at all.
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:29 AM GMT
    jerbear89 said[stop initiating contact]

    [go out]

    Online is a nice escape, you have people you can chat with here, but you can't/shouldn't let it consume you. You live in one of the largest, most diverse cities in the world and you're wasting it. I know this sounds harsh, but nothing you want is going to be easy; you have to work for it. Take it from the guy who's dreamed of abs instead of rolls since he was 16 and 210 pounds.

    Life isn't easy, or fair, but it is yours to live, and only you can decide how you're going to do that. You say you're broke, and you've played all your video games. So sell them. Use the money to buy a membership somewhere, a gym, a club, anything, even if it's just for a month. I can almost guarantee more good will come out of that than if they continue to sit on your shelf.

    What do you do for work? Do you not enjoy the company of any of your coworkers? Perhaps you need to start looking for a new, or 2nd job. And in regards to your "old" friends, I meant old as in "up until this point in your life". Wipe the slate clean, unless they kick up a fuss and would like to stick around. Friends that don't associate or keep in touch with you are worse than no friends at all.

    In regards to life not being easy, I might as well go back to this thread:
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1523803

    I don't sell games that I actually like, because I will play them again in the future. Besides, the price they give you on selling back games is absolute shit and not even worth it.

    I intern for a fashion photographer. I was supposed to go out for dinner with him and our hair/makeup girl but she didn't answer my text and he rarely checks his phone. So basically my coworkers are my only friends, and they don't answer my texts. icon_neutral.gif
    My best friend lives 2 hours away, and my best gay friend has been busy finishing his exams and is moving home (an hour or 2 away) tomorrow.
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    I don't sell games that I actually like, because I will play them again in the future. Besides, the price they give you on selling back games is absolute shit and not even worth it.

    Tell me something of worth in your life right now. Let's shed some positive light on this.

    Start looking for a 2nd job, and phase out of this one. Leave on good terms to maintain reference potential, but clearly your coworkers take you for granted, and if you have talent, it will be noticed elsewhere. Honestly, what do you have to lose?
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    Aren't you graduating soon? Have you thought about moving to a more downtown area after graduating? Are gonna stay with your internship place or are you gonna find another similar job. I remember you saying your current boss will give you an excellent ref., but I don't know if that's for his company or for another company. How far is it from where you're living right now btw? If it's closer to downtown, and you're gonna stay with them after you graduate, perhaps you should move closer to your wok. That will simultaneously improve your schedule and social life. A win-win.
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:39 AM GMT
    jerbear89 saidI don't sell games that I actually like, because I will play them again in the future. Besides, the price they give you on selling back games is absolute shit and not even worth it.

    Tell me something of worth in your life right now. Let's shed some positive light on this.

    Start looking for a 2nd job, and phase out of this one. Leave on good terms to maintain reference potential, but clearly your coworkers take you for granted, and if you have talent, it will be noticed elsewhere. Honestly, what do you have to lose?

    It's an internship. I need the hours to graduate.

    I'm eating pita chips right now and they're really good. The rest of my day has been fucking gay.
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:42 AM GMT
    cityaznguy saidAren't you graduating soon? Have you thought about moving to a more downtown area after graduating? Are gonna stay with your internship place or are you gonna find another similar job. I remember you saying your current boss will give you an excellent ref., but I don't know if that's for his company or for another company. How far is it from where you're living right now btw? If it's closer to downtown, and you're gonna stay with them after you graduate, perhaps you should move closer to your wok. That will simultaneously improve your schedule and social life. A win-win.

    He's a photographer, I'm a stylist. His job isn't even to hire me to do stuff, he's giving me the opportunity to build my portfolio by working with him.

    I want to live downtown but I don't know what I'm gonna do to afford to live.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 29, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    How's it going or What's up is a nothing message.

    Take an extra step.
    Instead of just saying, "How's it going ?" why don't you either tell them what's going on in your life, or invite them to meet you for coffee, or lunch, or dinner, or...
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    Anduru saidSeriously.

    None of the guys I'm interested in reply to my texts anymore, my friends don't text me or rarely reply to my texts, so all I do is sit in my room alone wondering why everyone is ignoring me.

    It's not like I spam them with texts either, it'll be like "Hey, how's it going?" and if they don't reply within a couple days, I send them another "Hey, how's it going?"
    After that I leave them alone for at least a couple of weeks.


    Don't things like this get to you. I know it's easier said than done and I bet it hurts. But people like that don't deserve your attention or your love. Who cares, screw them if they don't want to reply to you so be it. Chances are if they go a few weeks without talking to you than they are not good friends. Make new ones go out more be around good people. Good luck! hope things get better icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 29, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidHow's it going or What's up is a nothing message.

    Take an extra step.
    Instead of just saying, "How's it going ?" why don't you either tell them what's going on in your life, or invite them to meet you for coffee, or lunch, or dinner, or...

    Clearly you're not 21.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2011 7:24 AM GMT
    You've caught virus ac2394, that's what's wrong with you icon_cry.gif