Younger Guys with Older Guys

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 27, 2007 9:33 PM GMT
    Maybe some of you other 40 somethings can enlighten me on this (20 somethings viewpoints are welcome too!).

    Now that I find myself single and over 40, I get quite a few younger men expressing interest in me and I'm not quite sure what to make of that. I mean I can't picture myself with someone 15 or 20 years older than me, so I don't quite get why someone in their 20's would be interested in dating someone in their 40's (in some cases that's old enough to be their father!). Are they looking for someone to take care of them financially (can't and won't help them out there...at least not to just give them a free ride!), looking for a father figure because their relationship with their own isn't good? What?

    Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely attracted to a lot of these guys and I'm flattered that they find me attractive but seems like I should stick to guys within 5 years or so of my age if I want to find something lasting and stable, right? Not to say there aren't any mature 20 somethings out there but at 20, there is still a lot of stuff to experience and being with someone whose "been there done that" seems like it would be boring for someone that young.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 28, 2007 6:24 AM GMT
    I don't know. I'm just happy when anyone finds me attractive.
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    Jun 28, 2007 10:53 AM GMT
    Well, excuse me for pointing out the obvious but... if you create an 'daddy' / 'master' / fantasy image like your profile picture then is it any wonder that you attract young men who are looking for that sort of figure in their life?
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    Jun 29, 2007 7:54 PM GMT
    I think it also has to do with the whole "teaching" aspect.

    This is speaking from my own point of view and experience, but when I was younger I was always attracted to older men, because I felt.

    the could teach me new things in and out of bed.

    Olser guys seemed a little more serious and offered a more mature outlook on life ( at least I thought that when I was younger)

    They had there shit together..

    I'll admit shortnsexy stud, looking at your pic I'm attracted to you and the older thing is sexy. but now that I'm older the reason I'm still attracted to older guys because to me they seem like grown men in the physical aspect. as opposed to guys in there early twenty's who to me seem to have a little boy body..






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 29, 2007 9:09 PM GMT
    I think it may be the maturity, stability, experience, and in general life experiences that an older man may bring to the relationship. Likewise the older man may be attracted to the youth and excitement of a younger partner as well.

    Me personally, I find both attractive. I however refuse to mentally get old and if I can avoid it, physically get old.

    Age is a state of mind. If you feel old and act old then you will be old.
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    Jun 29, 2007 9:51 PM GMT
    Limiting yourself to only 5 years around your age seem a little arbitrary. Some younger guys are precocious and much more mature than their age, why exclude them from your dating pool? Similarly there are many older guys who don't have the maturity expected of them. Generally I only exclude guys in their early 20's or younger.

    I would avoid the type of younger guys that don't know what they want but are looking for "learning" experiences, mentors, what have you. These guys will move on when another attractive mentor shows up. But the not so rare younger guys with solid outlooks on life and without bad habits are definitely good boyfriend material.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2007 3:43 AM GMT
    I have been equally mystified by that, shortnsexy (although, like Red, I note your profile says you prefer guys younger than you). When I was in my 20s, I wasn't interested in anyone over 30.

    A couple of things have occurred to me. One is that many younger guys are simply more open-minded than my generation was in its 20s. A friend in his 20s also remarked to me that our generation doesn't age at the same rate our parents' generation did.

    If you have to psychologize it, it may have something to do with the widely acknowledged breakdown of fathering in the culture.

    Then, too, I always say I don't have any choice but to play with younger guys since anyone older than me is dead. :)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2007 6:44 AM GMT
    I've known one young man from age 18 to 32 who has always dated 40+ yo men. He says it is because of "Shared interests that his younger friends don't concern themselves with." Though he didn't go to college, he did get good jobs early and has a couple real estate imvestments.
    He has always been self suporting.

    I knew another guy who liked college age guys. When I knew him, he was 35 and according to his friends putting his third young live in man through a 4 year college. The Greek mentor ideal?

    The writer Christopher Isherwood was 30 yrs older than his last partner and the lasted 30 more years.

    In short, different strokes for different folks, and ain't it wonderful?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Jun 30, 2007 10:00 AM GMT
    I've gotten to an age that I am segregating prospective men...by age
    into age appropriate over 28 give or take
    and age inappropriate under 25 (there's a gray area inbetween)
    younger guys can be cute as hell
    but they're like potato chips
    they taste good and they can be addicting as hell but they're not very good for you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2007 2:28 PM GMT
    When I was 19 I date an older man who was 35. He turn to be the most unforgetable bf I have. I was young, sex is new and exciting. Those day I never have enough of sex. There a time I even give him oral in a car because I cannot wait to get home.

    When I am 38 I date a younger guy who is 22. He was so sexy, lustfull and energetic . It take all my sexual skill and experience to satisfies him. He is constantly demanding sex.Some night we be making love before going to bed, and yet at 4 am in the morning he wake me up for another round of sex.

    If you date younger guy make sure you have a stamina to keep up with them.
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    Jul 02, 2007 12:51 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for your input. I guess the fact my profile states I prefer guys younger than me is a little contradictory to my question. That is in fact the age range I find my self noticing most but I guess after being in a 10 year relationship and starting to date again, the whole idea of hitting it off with someone 20 years younger than me seems a little strange. Maybe if I just relax and go with it and let the universe send me who it's going to send me, I'll get over the awkwardness of it. I seem to get along with the guys I meet that age so I guess my own thinking is just getting in my way.

    Oh, and just an observation for redheadguy, maybe that photo projects a certain image but I don't think only young guys are attracted to that look. I certainly don't look at myself as a "daddy/master" by any means although I do enjoy leather and if someone wants me to take on that role in a sexual sense that's fine but it doesn't mean I want to take care of someone in every way. I want someone in my life romantically that has their feet on the ground and can stand on their own two feet, not expect me to take care of their every need.

    Thanks everyone again for the input. I look forward to hearing more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2007 7:56 PM GMT
    ollder guuys are bad for my health...they're cruel as hell...the play with my feelings...i try to stick to my age
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 04, 2007 7:15 PM GMT
    It's got to be a combination of things as been suggested here-perhaps experience in life-curiosity, handing off the torch if you will, openess to an older man, the older man looks good in the raw perhaps. An older man being open to different ages now that he's older. My respective men: 12 and 17 years age difference. It was physical first. Either side of the age-marker works for me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2007 5:26 AM GMT
    As redHeadGuy said:

    You create a muscle daddy impression with your profile. That IS going to attract younger guys who are well in search of one.

    As to what you're going to do with these potential suitors, it's just like your age group, do what you do with them with these younger folk.

    And if you're not interested in younger guys, oh well then sit back relax and enjoy the droves of twinkies pining after your muscle daddy body and good looks. It never hurts to have people interested. It is when they stop knocking that things get messy and sad.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2007 5:55 AM GMT
    Hi Shortnsexystud - Interesting topic. I've noticed the same phenomenon, especially here on RJ. I love the attention, but I do notice a fairly consistent pattern of younger guys wanting me to play the D/s roleplaying game with them. That can be fun once in a great while in IM, but that's not who I am in real life. Because I came out so late in life, I kind of expected younger gay men to consider me pretty much used up and over the hill; I'm flattered that's not always the case.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 05, 2007 6:12 AM GMT
    yeah I troll Ruck_us'es cam all the time begging him to dominate me and use me for his pleasure.

    he is hawt. ;-p


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 08, 2007 3:21 AM GMT
    Don't judge us all Faboloso....we're not all assholes! Still think some of you are focusing tooooo much on the image in that ONE photograph or a couple photographs. Ruck_us, I'm glad you've had kind of a similar experience as me. Again, it's not that I'm not flattered by the attention nor that I would exclude dating a guy in his twenties if we got along well but you kind of have that thought in the back of your mind that eventually someone that much younger is going to find somebody closer to their own age and forget all about you. Then where does that leave you? I guess that is showing a bit of insecurity on my part but as I said, this dating thing is so new to me again after 10 years, I'm just trying to get a handle on things.
  • Arkguy84

    Posts: 60

    Jul 10, 2007 4:55 AM GMT
    Well seeing as I am dating a man that is 22 years older than I am. I can say something on this topic...I think...

    I like older guys do to the fact that I know mentally they are more on par with me (for the most part). They also seem to be more physically intimate than most guys my age.
    Most guys around my age are just looking for a place to stick it and think that is being physically intimate with someone.

    But then I could just have askew views, I knew I liked guys when I was really young and acted on it all my life. And I know that age is not always linked to viewpoints and over all attitudes about the world and life. (My self as a case in point)
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    Jul 13, 2007 7:17 AM GMT
    I've wondered about Odinn84's comment, that older guys are more into "intimacy" and younger guys maybe more into a quick fuck. I really, really like touching and kissing all over, holding, feeling the guys heart beating against me, in addition to oral, etc. I like slow and sensual sex and physical closeness and touching, exploring their body all over.
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    Jul 14, 2007 11:28 AM GMT
    I'm a 19yo guy, and you know what, I'm always rejected by the older guys coz I'm too young (they think). I alwasy don't know why coz I thought to be young was an advantage, but it's not.

    For me, yeah, I do like older guys, because I find older guys much mature, experienced( life aspects lol)and they look hot to me. I'm not into the daddy-fantasy. I just like guys, it doesn't matter whether they are old( which to me, mature) or not. Age should not be an issue, if I like sb, I will just go for it. So, don't worry too much.
  • Arkguy84

    Posts: 60

    Jul 15, 2007 6:17 AM GMT
    Another thing for me is that “older” guys also seem to have their “ducks” more in a row. I know I’m rare for my age when it comes to matters of stability. But this is a major thing for me. I want someone that is just as far along as I am. And this just does not happen for 99% of the people my age.
    With this said I am brushed off a lot do to my age. And people do not approve of the age gap most of the time.
    Plus on top of this all grey hair and fine lines or “crows’ feet” are sexy to me. Not sure why they are but they are.
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    Jul 24, 2007 3:36 AM GMT
    In the past few years I have been in 3 relationship with guys who were 11, 8, and 7 years older than myself. I have come to find that age means absolutely nothing, it is merely a number and I will not discount someone (or give someone undue credit), older or younger simply based on that fact.

    That being said, I do think more than 10 years difference is most likely a stretch.

    More important is life experience, regardless of age. I cannot sit down and hope for decent conversation with some of my former high school classmates from my hometown. Despite being the same age, having been accomplished "honors kids", they have hung around the area and not really done anything similar to the experiences I have been fortunate enough to have. Nothing better or worse, just dissimilar.
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    Jul 29, 2007 10:10 PM GMT
    Well after being with someone almost 12 years younger than myself for over 3 years I feel that age has a lot to do with things. He is at the point now where he is not as sure about things as I am which is a bad sign for me since I am fully committed. I would suggest for someone 40 not go lower than age 30 because there is still alot to learne between thoughs ages. Late teens and early 20's people are still unsure about too many things and sometimes don't know what love really is.
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    Jul 31, 2007 1:49 AM GMT
    I’ve talked to Chizzad about his relationship a little and I do want to say that not all young guys are the same. I was 22 when I met my partner, who is 16 years my senior. Five years later (sometimes rocky years) we are still together.

    I’ve always been attracted to older men. In a large part, it has to do with what has already been said; many older men have their shit together. I’ve never been attracted you guys my own age for that very reason. I’ve always had a clear picture in my mind of what I wanted and how I wanted to get their. I have always been someone who knew what he wanted and who I was.

    I’ve dealt with guys who tried to shape and mold me into the image of a man that they thought I should be. It did not work out well. And I’ve dealt with guys who offered a mentor-like relationship. Those were some-what better. A relationship of equals is the only thing that truly lasts, in my limited experience.

    Physically and sexually, I’ve liked older men because they are men, not boys. I’m attracted to the rugged type, like a good number of the guys on here, including you SSStud. Frankly, I don’t want to take the time to teach a guy about sex. I want someone who knows what the hell he wants and what he is doing. I like things a bit on the wild side too and most young guys aren’t ready to go there yet.

    Just because a younger man is interested in an older one doesn’t mean he is searching for a breadwinner or a father figure. Perhaps he just likes men.
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Aug 01, 2007 10:27 PM GMT
    Finally a discussion where I have experience:-)

    I am now 21 Years old and know that its pretty hard to find older guys to date. The most commun sentence I get is "Sorry, your to young"(In many variatons)

    I dont know what is it in older man that atracts me that much, maybe its because they have this intelligent and strong image for me. Sure, I am looking for a strong Guy who stands up for me and is always on my site when I need him. But that could be a younger one too.

    I have to say that all that talking about the agedifference is complete Bulls***. I love to mail with normally older guys from the net where the agedifference is sometimes more then 10 Years and we understand us great. So if 2 guys understand each other pretty good, when they find each other sexy. The Im asking, what makes it so damn different that the other was born earlier?