Making progress at the gym "outs" people you know?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2011 6:55 PM GMT
    I have been training regularly for the last year. I can say I made some good progress muscle-wise.

    The funny thing is, some guys at the gym were like buddies to me before.

    After my body changed, their way of talking to me is different. The way they look at me is different.

    Some guys we barely said Hi to each other a few months ago. In the past month, two of them, out of the blue, began chatting me in the weight room, in the lockers, on the track field, in the pool.

    If a guy comments on the improvement you made on your body several times, what would you think of him? Interested maybe?

    And what if while talking to you his eyes are all over your body?

    Can he be straight and just giving a compliment to his gym buddy on the progress made?

    The funny thing is before these incidents, I would never have guessed that some of these guys are gay, so I guess my progress at the gym had a side effect of outing them. LOL icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    Given high member attrition rates, maybe they think you're worth the effort of getting to know because your progress indicates that you're "in" and here to stay for at least the duration of your gym membership. By showing that you take working out seriously they take you seriously.

    No one at my gym has progressed as much as I have in so little time and I've yet to be eye-raped. Then again, my gaydar's famously lousy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2011 7:53 PM GMT
    Talking to you doesn't make the guy gay. Doesn't make him straight, either.

    A guy can be straight and appreciate another man's body. If he's at the gym, he must be taking care of his body and want improve or maintain. If he notices that other guys are getting in better shape it doesn't mean he's attracted to that guy.

    Guys might be more willing to talk to you now that they've seen you around the gym regularly. They know you're serious about training.

    If you think they might be interested and you're interested, you'll never know if you don't say anything. Maybe make friends at the gym and meet up outside of the gym.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    you can always fool yourself, it helps
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2011 9:34 PM GMT
    If he compliments you and follows it with "No Homo" then he is straight...
    or a douche, I can never remember icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 01, 2011 12:05 AM GMT
    i_VAN saidyou can always fool yourself, it helps


    snap sister...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    I used to go to the gym with my cousin, and he made progress much faster than me, and when he got some improvement already (and looking somewhat hot already), some guys started talking to him. He was still young and straight so he might not be able to figure out if they were gays. But my gardar did tell me something about the guys.

    Wait, or it could be i was being bitchy and jealous because my cousin was hotter than me lol icon_smile.gif)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    I think it just depends on how you present yourself. If you look good and know what you are doing then people are going to talk to you, even if its just to give a compliment.

    I remember I came one day in scrubs so for whatever reason without asking all the personal trainers assumed I was a doctor, so they have perpetuated this calling me "doc" and sometimes people want to show me their bodily injuries... do you think they are gay? lol

    just kidding, don't you "know" when someone is gay when they talk to you? If someone talks to me and I know they are gay I'm usually a lot more friendly but not in the creepy every comment you give me is a chance to fuck way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 9:24 PM GMT
    I've noticed that muscular guys tend to talk to other muscular guys in the gym. Not sure why, but maybe because they see each other as motivation. Nothing more, nothing less. Same thing happened to me before I had to stop due to illness. Take it as a compliment, but don't read too much into it.

    Or you could always be like me and wear a subtle "NOH8" wristband to the gym. It's subtle enough so straight guys may not know what it means, and the hot gay guys will talk to you about it icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 9:50 PM GMT
    Part of it is just about seeing a familiar face in the gym. People gain a comfort level after a certain amount of time to just talk to you.

    Also, it could just be the way you're projecting yourself now. I've seen alot of guys in the gym, clearly just starting out, who, based on body language, are introverted and keep to themselves. Your progress might be allowing you to walk a bit more confidently, look at people more confidently, and just project a more welcoming demeanor to these guys.

    There's also a common story to share with people. We all started out at a certain point, then made progress. Guys love to share those stories for the most part.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    adam228 said

    just kidding, don't you "know" when someone is gay when they talk to you? If someone talks to me and I know they are gay I'm usually a lot more friendly but not in the creepy every comment you give me is a chance to fuck way.


    This is exactly what I want to know. How do you KNOW? Are there some guidelines?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 7:36 PM GMT
    I've had that happen with very very straight guys. But only guys that didn't know I'm gay. I always go by the that-seemed-rather-inappropriate-but-he-wasn't-starring-at-my-crotch-or-looking-me-straight-in-the-eyes-while-having-his-face-too-close-guideline. That keeps me out of trouble icon_sad.gif


    EDIT: I could really go for some trouble...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    pre_mortem saidI've had that happen with very very straight guys. But only guys that didn't know I'm gay. I always go by the that-seemed-rather-inappropriate-but-he-wasn't-starring-at-my-crotch-or-looking-me-straight-in-the-eyes-while-having-his-face-too-close-guideline. That keeps me out of trouble icon_sad.gif


    EDIT: I could really go for some trouble...


    What if he was talking to you and you felt eye-raped? LOL
    Do straight men eye-rape their buddies? icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    I think, that it is -as said above- about seeing familiar faces and seeing fast improvement or improvement in special body areas that they want to be like urs, so they befriend u to get tips or to be friends with hot sexy incrdible new dude at the gym who is a fast progressing hottieicon_wink.gif

    I don't have a gayday or straightdar actually am so naive in this, but its fine if men talk to u abt ur awesome body, they like it and eye-rape it, let them have their treat u piece of eye-candy (i'd be doing so:winkicon_smile.gif and u just enjoy the attention icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 9:38 PM GMT
    samurai111 said
    pre_mortem saidI've had that happen with very very straight guys. But only guys that didn't know I'm gay. I always go by the that-seemed-rather-inappropriate-but-he-wasn't-starring-at-my-crotch-or-looking-me-straight-in-the-eyes-while-having-his-face-too-close-guideline. That keeps me out of trouble icon_sad.gif


    EDIT: I could really go for some trouble...


    What if he was talking to you and you felt eye-raped? LOL
    Do straight men eye-rape their buddies? icon_razz.gif


    Well, more seriously - straight guys do crap and they are totally oblivious to the fact that it looks like they are hitting on you.

    Try some friendly flirting the next time. Someone complimenting your body and replying with "You should see me naked" should get you some kind of reaction without a bashing or outing yourself to random straight guys at your gym.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 9:52 PM GMT
    pre_mortem:

    287571_745205.jpg
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    May 06, 2011 9:57 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidpre_mortem:

    287571_745205.jpg


    Would you STOP with that already??!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 9:57 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidpre_mortem:

    287571_745205.jpg


    How the hell... wait, are you being serious or just doing a self-referential joke? You can flirt with people without cruising you know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 10:03 PM GMT
    Have you thought about it as it's probably because you've been in the gym more often that's why these guys would chat you up and stuff? Familiarity breeds liking, after all. Of course it could also be they see that you are taking this seriously and therefore has more respect for you. Or both.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 10:12 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidpre_mortem:

    287571_745205.jpg


    I LOVE cruising in the summer, especially if the weather is warm. Having a swim during or after it is just perfect. You should try cruising in a small boat sometime, you WILL love it. I assure you ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 10:17 PM GMT
    cityaznguy saidHave you thought about it as it's probably because you've been in the gym more often that's why these guys would chat you up and stuff? Familiarity breeds liking, after all. Of course it could also be they see that you are taking this seriously and therefore has more respect for you. Or both.


    I agree with what you are saying icon_smile.gif But the thing is the body language, the choice of words makes one think twice about the intention of the speaker. Some of them were already friends but others suddenly emerged with the praise. It is flattering and I am not complaining, I'm just curious as to why this happened now icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    Oddly, this thread has suddenly become relevant to me. I've been leaning out lately, and looking a little extra ripped. Not in my best shape ever, but enough so that people notice and comment.

    So, there's a guy I've seen in my gym for several years. He's very muscular, extremely ripped, and HOT as FUCK - and also the same height as me, which is a HUGE turn-on (I'm 5'6"). But he's never been the least bit friendly, to anyone. I tried to say hi once a few years back and barely got a grunt in reply, and I've passed him on the sidewalk countless times without even getting a nod (we live in the same neighborhood). He so adamantly ignores everyone in the gym that I figured either he's terribly sexually conflicted, or extremely focused on his workout. Or maybe he's just a dick. But I know he's not completely antisocial; I see him playing volleyball with a group of guys every weekend at the beach.

    Yesterday I was walking into the gym as he was walking out, and out of the blue he stopped me, told me I have a great physique (!) and asked about my cardio regimen. We had a short conversation, introduced ourselves and shook hands. He smiled at me and talked to me just like a regular warm-blooded human being. I was blown away.

    I'm not making too much of this - yet. I've been complimented and smiled at by str8 guys before, and stared at so long and hard I was embarassed for both of us (yes, some str8 guys really do stare at other guys). But the ice is finally broke, and if eventually he becomes a friend or just someone to say hi to every now and then, I'll be happy. And if there's a chance to take it any further, I'll jump on that boy in a fucking heartbeat.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    May 07, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    Athaleet saidOddly, this thread has suddenly become relevant to me. I've been leaning out lately, and looking a little extra ripped. Not in my best shape ever, but enough so that people notice and comment.

    So, there's a guy I've seen in my gym for several years. He's very muscular, extremely ripped, and HOT as FUCK - and also the same height as me, which is a HUGE turn-on (I'm 5'6"). But he's never been the least bit friendly, to anyone. I tried to say hi once a few years back and barely got a grunt in reply, and I've passed him on the sidewalk countless times without even getting a nod (we live in the same neighborhood). He so adamantly ignores everyone in the gym that I figured either he's terribly sexually conflicted, or extremely focused on his workout. Or maybe he's just a dick. But I know he's not completely antisocial; I see him playing volleyball with a group of guys every weekend at the beach.

    Yesterday I was walking into the gym as he was walking out, and out of the blue he stopped me, told me I have a great physique (!) and asked about my cardio regimen. We had a short conversation, introduced ourselves and shook hands. He smiled at me and talked to me just like a regular warm-blooded human being. I was blown away.

    I'm not making too much of this - yet. I've been complimented and smiled at by str8 guys before, and stared at so long and hard I was embarassed for both of us (yes, some str8 guys really do stare at other guys). But the ice is finally broke, and if eventually he becomes a friend or just someone to say hi to every now and then, I'll be happy. And if there's a chance to take it any further, I'll jump on that boy in a fucking heartbeat.


    I must admit I am guilty of this too, there are a lot of strange people at the gym, but I will say hello to anyone who acknowledges me.