Don't want to be the rebound guy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    Bullet Points:

    -- Met him last summer, liked him. We had some things in common, but also a lot NOT in common.

    -- We are almost four hours away from each other, and I am a lot older than him (43/29). Though he said he never cared about the age difference, it was a concern for me.

    -- Spent five or six weekends together, also Skyped quite a bit when we couldn't meet. I thought maybe we were starting to develop a relationship, then...

    -- He met some 22 year old, and promptly blew me off with no warning. I was devastated but eventually got over the whole thing. Or so I thought.

    -- The 22 year old dumped him recently, and now he's back. He claimed he never knew how I felt, or he would have never pursued the guy. (The cynic in me is doubtful.)

    -- I feel like maybe I am being the rebound guy here. And deep down even though I miss the sex and the physical intimacy, I don't think I can have a romantic relationship with him (age difference/distance, etc.)

    How do I left him down gently? I don't want to be a jerk and destroy his ego; but if I continue to allow him to think otherwise I'd just be leading him on. I should know better at my age -- but apparently I am terrible at dealing with my own personal relationships.

    Thanks for reading.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 01, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    It's a perfect situation for him. He can keep his distance, keep his emotional unavailability, and have the satisfaction of 'someone is thinking of him'.

    It happens all the time with distance.

    Be his friend and nothing more if that's what you want.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 01, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    He has someone at 'home' to keep the bed warm (you) and can still play the field when you are not around. Be ready to get dumped for the next 22 year old that crosses his path.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 02, 2011 9:04 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidIt's a perfect situation for him. He can keep his distance, keep his emotional unavailability, and have the satisfaction of 'someone is thinking of him'.

    It happens all the time with distance.

    Be his friend and nothing more if that's what you want.


    To be honest, I'm not even sure if I've really gotten over how horrible he made me feel when he "dumped" me. And now he wants to go back to the way everything was as if nothing happened... I just don't think I can do that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 02, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidHe has someone at 'home' to keep the bed warm (you) and can still play the field when you are not around. Be ready to get dumped for the next 22 year old that crosses his path.


    That is never far from my mind...