Have you met your boyfriend (or a boyfriend) at the bar/club?

  • Hunter9

    Posts: 1039

    Apr 05, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    So I'm curious how many people have met their bf's from guys that they originally met at a gay bar/club. I seem to trick myself into thinking I'll meet my prince at the corner bar, and then get frustrated when I don't. Is the bar/club just a hopeless place to meet a bf?
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    Apr 05, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    I met my bf at a club. He was one of the bartenders. I bought a drink, he said I seemed "interesting..." All of the other bartenders have bf's/or are dating someone. So your prince may be behind the bar, rather than in front of it.....
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 05, 2008 6:16 PM GMT
    We were introduced at a bar, but nothing came of it (for me anyway). We met again at a party, but I later found out he was only there because of me.
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    Apr 05, 2008 11:13 PM GMT
    My ex saw me at the gym on a Thursday(I didn't see him) then he saw me at a bar(Oilcan's in Austin Tx) the following Saturday. He came up to me, we started talking and we were together 11yrs 'til just recently.
    So yeah, it can happen.
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    Apr 05, 2008 11:19 PM GMT
    I met my first boyfriend at bar/club, it all went well till he cheated on me...but im not really against meeting anyone at a bar/club...
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    Apr 06, 2008 1:06 AM GMT
    I've never met a guy at a bar who became a bf - that is, a bf for more than a one-nighter. My friends and I used to very often hit the dance clubs in San Francisco and party with guys we'd meet - back when I was a Stanford student - but I don't think any of us met boyfriends there - just one-nighters. God - what memories!
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    Apr 06, 2008 1:09 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidGod - what memories!


    Hey, pull your rocking chair up next to mine and we'll reminisce.
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    Apr 06, 2008 1:11 AM GMT
    I met my bf at the bar. He was on a rare intown visit and it was a rare time that i actually went out. I hate going out to the bar around here and my friend dragged me out that night. I am happy now that i went out that night, two years later! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 06, 2008 1:16 AM GMT
    jprichva said[quote][cite]Jockbod48 said[/cite]God - what memories!


    Hey, pull your rocking chair up next to mine and we'll reminisce.[/quote]



    Hahahaha - when you're about a hundred years old, like me - you've got a whole bunch of great memories......so many. I'll get my walker and my oxygen and hobble on over and we can talk about the good old 70s and 80s.
  • cowboyupnorth

    Posts: 264

    Apr 06, 2008 1:18 AM GMT
    I met a guy that I dated for quite awhile at the bar, we still see each other when I am in town. For the most part I do not go to bars so I do not want to date someone who frequents bars. I want to live life in the world and only visit the bars every once in awhile. I think you also have a greater likelihood of finding an alcoholic at the bar then you do at a marathon, gym, rodeo etc.
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Apr 06, 2008 2:21 AM GMT
    Ive met a few guys at the bar that Ive ended up dating. Very little positive ever came of it.

    Its not really the best place to find a guy if you're looking for more than a hookup.... though I cant really suggest any positive alternatives.

    Good luck icon_smile.gif
  • imperator

    Posts: 626

    Apr 06, 2008 2:51 AM GMT
    I met the stupidest of my 4 exes at the bar... I mean who the hell blows themself up by smoking over an open gas can? His lower legs were all Freddy Kruger-ish and he was shrill. And the bitch still owes me $40. icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 06, 2008 2:56 AM GMT
    I don't know... although I've never gone to a club looking for a bf, I've managed to walk away with a few over the years. Some short lived, some that lasted a long while. My ex, for example, I met at a club. We were together for about a year and a half. Ultimately we just weren't right for one another - but still love each other. Kinda weird. Still glad I met him though, even if it was at a club.
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    Apr 06, 2008 3:13 AM GMT
    I did. It was easy--scoped the the hotties, decided which one (of the two I saw that night) was the most outgoing and sexy, got the bartender to send him a drink compliments of me, acted interested when he came to thank me (water, the not-so-alcoholic boy ordered), got his phone number, then called 4 days later.

    That was fun, waiting 4 days. I think that was me turning over a new leaf.

    So sure, you could meet your prince at a bar--why not? Browse like you're at the bookstore. The cover does say a lot, but I think it's wise to peek at the inside jacket for a little preview about the plot.
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    Apr 06, 2008 3:26 AM GMT
    me and my guy met at a Bar. It was totally fate because he told me that something was telling him to go to that bar that night. He usually doesn't go there.I was stood up on a date and I went there with my friends just to have a good time. 2 years later we are still together. He challenges me as do I with him, Maybe too much lol.
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    Apr 06, 2008 4:27 AM GMT
    I think it really depends on what type of a person you are. I never went to (straight) bars before coming out, don't drink, don't like smoke, don't like music that loud, can't dance... so I suppose one could say that a bar is an earthly rendition of hell for me.

    I met my first bf on-line, as I was just coming out. We were together for 2.5 years, and when we broke up I was gay and single for the first time. Took me about a year to get over him and eventually I made new friends (most of our old friends were actually his friends) and started hanging out with them... and going to the bar. It was socially fun because I got to hang out with a lot of friends, had a few hot moments... but only once a boyfriend/relationship (short lived, and word on the street was that he was cheating on me).

    Smoking was probably the biggest turn-off. Seems like 90% of the bar crowd smokes. Had this curse about me: the minute I'd spy a hot guy... he'd light up.

    I kept telling myself that just like I was there, it's possible that there were others who weren't just bar flies. I'm sure there are (I think we've seen evidence of that in this topic), but the odds don't seem that good.

    A story from the Wise Men of Chelm tells about a man walking home one night who runs into a friend looking for something in the grass. "What did you lose?", he asks. "A valuable gold coin", says the friend. So he offers to help in the search. After some time, he asks his friend where he last saw the coin. The friend replies: "I think it fell out of my pocket a block or two back, but I'm looking here because the light is better".

    I think a lot of people flock to the bars because "the light is better", and I think it's sad that in so many cases (for many people if not in many places) the "gay community" is nothing more than the bar scene.

    Don't like it? Then go out and create alternatives! A sport team, a book club, social groups with BBQs or picnics, etc.

    Oh, I met my boyfriend at a funeral. We were both dating other people at the time. Then we met again at a school dance a few months later... and the rest is history.
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    Apr 13, 2008 3:02 PM GMT
    He responded to a personal ad that I placed a couple years earlier and completely forgot about. We first met at church and have been together for nearly 7 years.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 13, 2008 3:08 PM GMT
    My longest relationship was with a guy I met at a club. I never go to bars 'looking', I'm just there to have fun with my friends, so it was a nice turn of events when he approached me and we ended up talking all night. We were together for 4 years, then I kicked him out and kept the furniture!
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    Apr 13, 2008 4:03 PM GMT
    I met my ex at a club. My friend and I had just gone to dance the night away, and he was there and came up to me. We were together for 5 years...I never thought a club meeting would last longer than a few months.
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    Apr 13, 2008 8:24 PM GMT
    I've met boyfriends at clubs, at the gym, and once at an equality Toledo meeting.
  • Muunrakur

    Posts: 169

    Apr 13, 2008 8:37 PM GMT
    lets see... met my first boyfriend at a party and all the rest online. That said, I only had maybe three relationships prior to this one. The hooking up and casual dating isn't what I'm talking about, and interestingly enough, none of that came from online stuff, it was always meeting at events, through friends (the best way to meet people, in my opinion, or at parties.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Apr 13, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    Yes, can't say it led me anywhere good either. I stopped going to bars a long time ago just because I never seemed to meet anyone at them and it more often than not seemed like an exercise in frustration. Some people do well in bars, I'm not one of them.
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    Apr 14, 2008 6:31 AM GMT
    CuriousjockAZ, If you ever want to punish yourself and come to Toledo, Ohio, and leave paradise, you can check out my bar, it's absolutely fabulous.

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    Apr 14, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    We met 30 years ago next July at the Lost and Found, a great club in DC now buried beneath the new Baseball District. Used to go to Sunday Tea Dance with friends. Saw him and he reminded of another guy I had been dating. He was playing pinball, so I asked if I could buy him a game. After a few games we talked for awhile and found out we had a lot in common, so went out to dinner etc, etc.

    Wish I could have saved a brick from the old place!
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    Apr 14, 2008 7:08 PM GMT
    I met my second bf at a bar (Solteros in Toronto, what a sleazy place). We stayed together six months, then were good friends.