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    May 02, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
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    May 02, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    Post a face photo. I have a trip to Atlanta next month ^_^

    An additional suggestion: go to Lenox Square Mall and turn on the Grindr app on your iPhone. Find what you are looking for in terms of attractiveness, start a conversation, meet for coffee in a public place, and go from there. Grindr has more interesting options than the other websites.
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    May 02, 2011 3:05 AM GMT
    I'm going to recommend that when you are ready, attend a gay youth group event in your area. Get involved, even if you are in the closet, so that you can meet other guys just like you, while you are doing something that interests you.

    Good luck, whatever it is that you find works for ya.
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    May 02, 2011 3:06 AM GMT
    Go hang out at the airport. :OD
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    May 02, 2011 3:10 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidPost a face photo. I have a trip to Atlanta next month ^_^

    An additional suggestion: go to Lenox Square Mall and turn on the Grindr app on your iPhone. Find what you are looking for in terms of attractiveness, start a conversation, meet for coffee in a public place, and go from there. Grindr has more interesting options than the other websites.


    while not a fan of apps like grndr or hook up sites, this could at a minimum let you know that there are other guys like you all around, and that you aren't as alone as you think. AND next year is college where there will be 100's of new men that you can hang out with who are very similar.
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    May 02, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    and you're smart to stay away from the over 30's, if they are after a 19yr old its not for a relationship beyond an hour or two.
  • nooceansleft

    Posts: 61

    May 02, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    Hey man. I'm going through a similar thing myself. Shit thing is I'm in Sydney which is about as far away from Atlanta as you can find.

    Best advice I can come up with is maybe try doing something different. Not necessarily joining some gay club or using Grindr (they can both be good but they can also be full of flamers), but just try doing something like joining a different sports team or something. Chances are there's probably not anyone gay there, but chances are they know someone who is. You're always only one degree away, you know what I mean?

    But yeah. Otherwise I would just get really, really, wasted until I have no standards.

    Cept you're below the drinking age in your country. COME TO AUSTRALIA.
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    May 02, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    How sad that the rest of us aren't living up to your standards. icon_cry.gif
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    May 02, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    sportsfannn101 saidso here's my story.... i'm an 18 year old guy in atlanta. pretty much your average preppy guy (love football, baseball, the outdoors, etc.). you would never know i was gay.

    but here's my issue: i'm only attracted to guys like myself. and in atlanta, the only gay guys that are out of the closet are huge flamers (which i'm not into in the least. no offense to anyone). all i wanna do it try shit with a guy (just making out--nothing huge). i've tried EVERYTHING from adam4adam to this site, and either everyone ends up being a creep or just too gay for me (keep in mind i despise the whole gay scene). it just sucks. i've met some normal, chill guys on here but they're all in their 30s which is just too old for me. i'm looking for the 18-25 range and i feel like just giving up. if anyone has any tips, please feel free to post.

    thanks so much, guys


    I'm in kansas. IT'S NO DIFFERENT HERE. I'm know kids in my school just like you. There's kids like you, afraid to come out of the closet because they fit in so well with all the cool kids and la la la. Then there's the flamers and theatre kids that pretty much were forced out of the closet by their limp wrist and affinity for fabulousity. I'm assuming you're still closeted.

    Listen to this: YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO FIND A GUY LIKE YOURSELF IN HIGH SCHOOL IF YOU YOURSELF ARE STILL CLOSETED. I'm not by any means telling you that you need to come out, but saying that the only people in your high school that are gay are all the flaming homos is blasphemy. They're just the most obvious. You're gay. And there's more EXACTLY like you, believe me. If no one's going to man up, how is anyone to know if anyone else is gay?

    The internet can be full of creeps. From my experience, I don't advise it. Go talk to a therapist or something at least once. They can even tell you about all the different lgbt youth groups in the area like another guy said.

    Don't expect more than you're willing to give. If "I would never know you were gay" then don't expect to find a guy just like yourself, because you won't know he's gay... jus sayin.
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    May 02, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    sportsfannn101 saidgood point ^ ...but it's just that i'm incredibly impatient. out of all the high schools in atlanta, why aren't ANY of the varsity football players gay? it really just sucks......


    they are! you're one of 'em. there are hot "normal" gay guys in your school, but they are like you and not advertising. Whatever you decide to do, be safe about it and don't let your hormones make poor choices for you.
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    May 02, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    sportsfannn101 saidsorry i actually have standards and don't sleep with every single dude i meet. you, my friend, are the reason for why gay dudes have the rep they do


    That's funny considering you know nothing about me. icon_lol.gif
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    May 02, 2011 3:29 AM GMT
    one or two of those other athletes probably are but they're in the same situation as you. you just gotta wait for the right situation i guess. theres no reason to rush into things anyway so just be patient. the opportunity will come.
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    May 02, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    its just normal when you are 18 years old.
    You just feel like you are not gay enough for the other guys.
    Them time passes by and you get used to homosexuality and its not a big deal anymore.
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    May 02, 2011 3:34 AM GMT
    PATIENCE!....Padawan!
    Don't be in such a hurry to give away your first experience to the "wrong" guy....Be "gay" in the fashion and style that you want, because it is about having the FREEDOM to express your sexuality in the way that best fits you, not about some stereotype. The flamers have that same right of self expression. Those gay football-types are out there. You need to GOOGLE for other gay personals sites...and I can tell you for a FACT that not all on A4A are flaming queens......icon_rolleyes.gificon_biggrin.gif
    Good Luck!
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    May 02, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    ScottsSoHot saidand you're smart to stay away from the over 30's, if they are after a 19yr old its not for a relationship beyond an hour or two.
    That's bullshit! I'd take a 19 yr old for at least a whole evening. icon_razz.gif
  • gatorboi

    Posts: 17

    May 02, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    I feel you dude. This is a seriously frustrating situation. I agree with comeback that the heart of the problem is that a lot of guys who are in to guys don't come out. Im not saying it is there duty or anything to, just that is is the crux of the matter. I am always meeting dudes in social situations/school that I really dig and who are friendly but you just never now if you could make a move or not. And that I think is the most frustrating part, and a part that my straight friends just don't get. It is very intimidating to consider coming on to a guy who may not be down. Even if he is open minded and accepting or even flattered, it would make thing highly awkward if he is not in to guys. I unfortunately have no advice on this subject but wanted to let you know that as others have said this is an issue a lot of us face.
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    May 02, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    How times have changed. When I was in highschool it was a few of the teachers pants I wanted to get into, not my fellow studentsicon_smile.gif
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    May 02, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    sportsfannn101 saidgood point ^ ...but it's just that i'm incredibly impatient. out of all the high schools in atlanta, why aren't ANY of the varsity football players gay? it really just sucks......


    How do you know they don't like guys? Can people tell by looking at you that you like guys?

    Since there isn't a light that says "Guy Lover" over guys who are same-sex attracted, you'll just have to pot shot up some friendships with guys you like and hope they're like you and like you.
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    May 02, 2011 4:13 AM GMT
    MikeInSLC saidGo hang out at the airport. :OD


    I used to do that. Met a great bf there when I was 19.

    O course, at risk of aging myself, that was back when there was no security between gates and the entrance.

    To the OP: guys like you are eventually going to bring about change; normal, every day, gay guys who like normal, everyday guy things. Welcome to the fun bit.
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    May 02, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    It's going to be a rough road for you, like it has been for many gay men (and women). If you are only trying to rely on online sources, and shun the "gay scene", then you will continue to fail, for the most part. You will especially find disappointment when you are very specific in your attractions. That's just reality.

    Until you take a more open approach, i.e., engaging yourself in the "scene", being open-minded to other types of guys, etc., you will continue to find nothing but frustration.
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    May 02, 2011 4:37 AM GMT
    comeback_kid said
    sportsfannn101 saidso here's my story.... i'm an 18 year old guy in atlanta. pretty much your average preppy guy (love football, baseball, the outdoors, etc.). you would never know i was gay.

    but here's my issue: i'm only attracted to guys like myself. and in atlanta, the only gay guys that are out of the closet are huge flamers (which i'm not into in the least. no offense to anyone). all i wanna do it try shit with a guy (just making out--nothing huge). i've tried EVERYTHING from adam4adam to this site, and either everyone ends up being a creep or just too gay for me (keep in mind i despise the whole gay scene). it just sucks. i've met some normal, chill guys on here but they're all in their 30s which is just too old for me. i'm looking for the 18-25 range and i feel like just giving up. if anyone has any tips, please feel free to post.

    thanks so much, guys


    I'm in kansas. IT'S NO DIFFERENT HERE. I'm know kids in my school just like you. There's kids like you, afraid to come out of the closet because they fit in so well with all the cool kids and la la la. Then there's the flamers and theatre kids that pretty much were forced out of the closet by their limp wrist and affinity for fabulousity. I'm assuming you're still closeted.

    Listen to this: YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO FIND A GUY LIKE YOURSELF IN HIGH SCHOOL IF YOU YOURSELF ARE STILL CLOSETED. I'm not by any means telling you that you need to come out, but saying that the only people in your high school that are gay are all the flaming homos is blasphemy. They're just the most obvious. You're gay. And there's more EXACTLY like you, believe me. If no one's going to man up, how is anyone to know if anyone else is gay?

    The internet can be full of creeps. From my experience, I don't advise it. Go talk to a therapist or something at least once. They can even tell you about all the different lgbt youth groups in the area like another guy said.

    Don't expect more than you're willing to give. If "I would never know you were gay" then don't expect to find a guy just like yourself, because you won't know he's gay... jus sayin.


    THIS was extraordinarily well stated. Bravo!!!!

    To the OP - you don't know what the "gay scene" is yet. From what you are saying, you have only seen a tiny sliver of it. There are hundreds of facets - be a little more open to what may not be so obvious to you and your current understanding of the world around you.

    RJ is FULL of dudes who were / are gay varsity football stars. You are not alone, just eager and short on patience. Understandable - we have all been there too. And we all found what we needed - so will you!
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    May 02, 2011 4:37 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidPost a face photo. I have a trip to Atlanta next month ^_^

    An additional suggestion: go to Lenox Square Mall and turn on the Grindr app on your iPhone. Find what you are looking for in terms of attractiveness, start a conversation, meet for coffee in a public place, and go from there. Grindr has more interesting options than the other websites.


    This!

    Keep looking. You will find. Don't be in any hurry to just hop in bed. Enjoy the exploration.
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    May 02, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidIt's going to be a rough road for you, like it has been for many gay men (and women). If you are only trying to rely on online sources, and shun the "gay scene", then you will continue to fail, for the most part. You will especially find disappointment when you are very specific in your attractions. That's just reality.

    Until you take a more open approach, i.e., engaging yourself in the "scene", being open-minded to other types of guys, etc., you will continue to find nothing but frustration.



    The problem is that a lot of gay guys are just like straight guys but without the usual avenues to meet other guys because they don't fit the stereotypes and aren't interested in being in the 'scene' because it is just not who they are and to try to just for having the same sexual orientation is alienating/awkward and really a bit unnatural way of meeting other people socially.

    sportsfannn101,

    It was the same way in college for me except I tried to be more open about gay guys and went to the events by the campus gay club and coming out group but it wasn't any better in regard to gay guys and stereotypes. It just seemed like the only guys who were open with their sexual orientation and attending such things were the ones that were more obviously gay - that fit the stereotypes.
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    May 02, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    There's a place for everyone to work out their own niche, I don't think anyone can tell you how to find it.

    There's barriers to entry though man, if you want people to see you for who you are then you have to be open about it. And that goes beyond sex, im talkin relationships, friendships ect ect.

    Just remember, being openly gay doesn't mean somebody is forcing stereotype kool-aid down your throat.

    My advice? Don't rush, take your time with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    Don't worry dude. Just relax. It'll all work out. I wasn't never out at jobs or college or anything cause I didn't feel like I was "Gay" in that sense as well. Most gays I knew at the time where all the same. And it wasn't something I really wanted to get involved with. And I was constantly worried about deviant men that were double even 10 years older than me just trying to get into my pants.

    Btw, you've been on sites only. The first people that hit you up are the predators... Its how it is unfortunately. Like many things, you find the bad before you find the good in it.You don't need to be in the scene to be gay and don't need to go out... but I will say this. It might increase your chances of meeting someone you may find attractive or to your standards. If you're still in the closet, than it might not be time yet either. =D

    But don't worry like I said, you're still young. Heck you're just 18. Fours years from now you'll know a lot more and probably know a lot more quality people. You're still a "baby" in the adult world, not saying that you are but you have a lot of experiences ahead of you. When the time's right, you'll find a quality guy. I know its frusturating, but don't let it get you down. There are people out there who will try just want you are comfortable with.