Dating/first kiss protocol.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    I realize this may have been covered already a lot, butttt - I am quite new to the dating scene and only just went out on a date with someone that I found attractive AND enjoyed talking to. We were together for over 3 hours (ending on roof terrace of his building) so I know there must be some level of interest on his part since he invited me there. But I didn't feel like I was getting any signals/the right vibe. We made plans to meet again but when we were saying goodbye I kind of dashed. Like I said, I am new to this - I know that we are both more old-fashioned/slow but wondering when you should have first kiss.

    Now I realize I also wasn't exactly sending any signals, despite the fact that I really like him and think he's gorgeous, aside from spending my time with him and clearly enjoying his company. Should I have kissed him? or wait until it's more clear whether he's interested? We're meeting up again tomorrow so we shall see. Anyone's input/advice is much appreciated.

    also, this is my first ever thread, so people should humor me and give me their 2 (or even 1) cents.

    Thanks!
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    May 02, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    In the end, it's a good thing you didn't force it. People try to tack on a kiss because they see it in a movie or think it's the way it's supposed to be. If it's not completely organic, it feels awkward and can do more harm than good.

    In my experience, the first kiss comes naturally and at the perfect time. Until it does, just do your best to help create that perfect time.

    The anticipation build up can only help, too.
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    May 02, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    Don't worry about playing Monday morning quarterback. You didn't kiss him, so don't stress out about what you could have or should have done.

    If you like the guy, then go ahead and make a move on him.
    If you want to know if a guy is interested in you, check out his body language. He keeps eye contact. His body is open towards yours. He might mimic your behavior. He could lean towards you.
    Learning to read body language is an important skill.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    May 02, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
    There is no protocol.....whatever happened to spontaneity? I hate when someone expect me to act this or that way....It totally depend on situation. Maybe we'll fuck on the first date, but maybe we wont even kiss.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    May 02, 2011 12:52 PM GMT
    I think you did a great job! It sounds like you were able to secure a second date, which is really great. I think you will be just fine!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    not to worry, wjn2010. you're doing just fine.
    truthfully, I think it's kinda charming when a guy asks if he can kiss me good night before he does it. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 12:58 PM GMT
    dont think of how u "should be" doing it.

    go with what feels right. dont force anything and try to fit into a robotic date oranization.


    ur doing fine. relax, hes into u.
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    May 02, 2011 1:02 PM GMT
    Get off your knees, you already blew it. icon_wink.gif
  • swimmer8671

    Posts: 429

    May 02, 2011 9:59 PM GMT
    I always thought the first kiss was all about the eyes haha,

    So when you look into eachothers eyes you can kinda just tell when it should happen.

    Take Tyra's advice and smize! lmfao icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 11:14 PM GMT
    thanks for all the responses! i'll just take it slow and see how things go for now. we're meeting up again tonight so maybe (hopefully) i'll get some more hints.
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    May 02, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    shortguybeau saidIn my experience, the first kiss comes naturally and at the perfect time. Until it does, just do your best to help create that perfect time.

    This

    Very astute. And very much like the awkwardness often portrayed for straight guys with THEIR first kiss on a date, though with a woman. I always contend that men are men, regardless of our orientation, our respective behaviors more alike than different.

    You should have seen me on MY first gay date, right after coming out. I was positively paralyzed with shyness & uncertainty. He kissed me first, which broke the ice, and then I blew him senseless. icon_redface.gif

    If the OP follows your advice he'll do just fine. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 11:41 PM GMT
    Ask him if it is ok to kiss him if you want to kiss him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2011 11:52 PM GMT
    dopitt saidAsk him if it is ok to kiss him if you want to kiss him.


    +1.

    Alternatively, just go for it. Give him a "I want you" look, say "come here", and just go right in. Guys are not that complicated. Don't have sex too early though, either do the chasing, or let him chase you a little bit. It's half the fun. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 12:04 AM GMT
    I thought "dick sucking" was first date protocol. Wait, this isn't the line to the pretzel place at the mall... nevermind!