I need some advice...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 05, 2008 10:17 PM GMT
    Ok here's the deal. I was in a serious relationship for almost 2 years. We lived together but the last 3 months was complete and total hell. It came down to whether our relationship would be forever or not and I just couldn't see myself with that one person for the rest of my life. I'm not saying I don't think I'll ever find someone to spend the rest of my life with, he just wasn't it. So we broke up and he moved to the living room since we lived with other people at the time. I couldn't handle that situation and he wouldn't move out so I ended up switching rooms with a lesbian friend of mine who had also just ended a relationship but was still living with her ex. I have dated a little since the relationship (almost fell into another serious relationship haha) but I find it almost annoying...Its like I have to go thru the same thing every first date. You talk about the same thing and even though that person hasn't heard your life story, you have. Then it also comes to how to meet people. I think the internet is a great source of finding people who have the same interest as you but I'm still hesitant. You can't ever really know who the person is or what they REALLY look like. Which makes me nervous. But then again I don't like going to a club and getting wasted and trying to pick up guys there. And my other problem is that I'm not necessarily looking for a serious or committed relationship right now but I still want the company of others. So I guess my real question is: How do you meet people who don't expect a serious relationship right away or don't fall in love with you instantly. Or in short how do you find new people? I realize I'm in Orlando which is pretty big but I don't particularly want some guy from the inner circle of gay drama that is UCF lol.

    Any comments or ideas would be wonderful icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2008 12:01 AM GMT
    You have good guestions and comments. When I ended my last long term (about one year) relationship, I took this as an opportunity to date around and experience not just one, but a number of types of guys. If you like people and are friendly - in shape and good looking - the doors are open to you. I meet guys while working out, or running, riding my bike, through work, through clubs I belong to - and my alumni association. I'm friends with a bunch of guys in my fraternity (see my group pic on here) and they in turn introduce me to guys they know.

    As far as guys getting too serious too soon - just lay it out there on date one - and let the guy know you are seeing a number of guys - and are just out of a two year thing - so you want and need to take it very slowly. If the guy is cool - he'll be wanting to take it just as slowly as you are.

    What I've learned is that there are so many guys out there in this world to meet - why not take the time (even through the Internet) to meet the best of the best before choosing?

    Good luck!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 06, 2008 1:31 PM GMT
    I would say you need to be candid and honest right from the get go..

    You seem sort of jaded over your past relationship(s) and don't seem willing to put forth the genuine effort that is necessary to get to know someone of quality and integrity. It takes effort. If the guy wants to marry you immediately, that should be a warning sign.
    Just make the effort and communicate your thoughts and concerns.

    If you don't want to get serious immediately, I'd pass on anything in a major sexual context until you think your ready and your comfortable with the person in which you are involved.

    As far as your internet concerns... be thorough.. I haven't had many lie to me and I met my bf from a yahoo personals ad with no pics. I'd also encourage you to do additional activities in the company of friends. Good luck to you.