Why is it that whenever a guy can't keep his word, he says, "I'm not looking for anything serious?"

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    May 02, 2011 9:29 PM GMT
    I am so tired of these same lame excuses guys give me when they can't fucking keep their word.

    Last Saturday I went to meet up with this guy who I've met now about 4 or 5 times in the past couple months. we were just hanging out the night before when I realized I left my bag at his friend's place. Well, I go there to get my bag and he's telling me how to get to his friend's place. We had also planned on having a drink or 2 as well. Well, when I get to his friend's place, he isn't even there and his friend simply comes downstairs, walks me to his truck where my bag and some stuff he'd bought me from the store.

    I was like, where's whats his name? His friend tells me, "oh he's over at Sam's house". And I thought to myself, whats going on? He never told me he was at Sam's house. I thought he was here. So I got to my car, called him and he doesn't answer. Then I texted him asking what was going on. He doesn't respond, then texts me like 30 minutes later saying him and his friend 'got into it'. I exchange more texts saying that well I didn't want to have to drive all the way downtown just to get my bag and that he should have said that prior to me getting there.

    Well, fast forward today I apologize for making it seem I didn't understand. He starts blowing up my phone with texts saying stuff like he isn't looking for anything serious, his last relationship was drama and bla bla bla. I told him that I never mentioned anything about a relationship. That I travel a lot anyway and that I'm not relationship material (as a way of saying, what are you thinking?)

    Last week, another guy was telling me "well I didn't think we were serious" because I asked him to send me a post card from his trip to New York (which he failed to do).

    This is exactly why guys have to pay to see me. Because when you give it to them for free they don't fucking appreciate it. They take it for granted. They can't handle seeing me more than once every few weeks or so, and for that they need to pay. Can't take me seriously? Well mother fucker pay me!
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    May 02, 2011 9:55 PM GMT
    I'm not looking for anything serious=I'm not in to you

    -I'm not understanding the bag situation. A guy whom you've seen a few times bought you things and you left the bag? What were you thinking leaving it somewhere. Get the goods and go.

    -So men are giving you payment to see you?
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    May 02, 2011 10:00 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidI'm not looking for anything serious=I'm not in to you

    -I'm not understanding the bag situation. A guy whom you've seen a few times bought you things and you left the bag? What were you thinking leaving it somewhere. Get the goods and go.

    -So men are giving you payment to see you?


    This guy is definitely into me. Just the night before we were hanging out, and prior to that he'd always come to my place to want to fuck.

    The bag was MY bag with some of my personal belongings in it. It was late at night and I was sleepy and forgot I'd brung it inside with me.

    That night he had gotten something from his store for me...and when I went back that night my bag and the stuff he got from his store was in his friend's truck, but apparently he couldn't let me know that he wasn't going to be hanging out that night and was at his friend's house who I also met the night before.

    It just seemed kind of shady though because I was thinking maybe he was at the friend's house who I went to, but had his friend come downstairs to make it seem like he wasn't.
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    May 02, 2011 10:05 PM GMT
    Well the general population is shady. Just because a guy wants to have sex with you doesn't mean he's in to you.
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    May 02, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidWell the general population is shady. Just because a guy wants to have sex with you doesn't mean he's in to you.


    ^ This. Just means he was horny.
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    May 02, 2011 10:16 PM GMT
    I'm only going by my gut here Brian on this and from other posts of yours but you're coming across as a somewhat "complicated" guy. Maybe you over-analyze or over think everything in your mind and feed some inner demon. I don't know. icon_neutral.gif

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    May 02, 2011 10:20 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidWell the general population is shady. Just because a guy wants to have sex with you doesn't mean he's in to you.


    OK, what the hell is your definition of into someone? I was on the border of not talking to the guy anymore because he'd talk so much about how he liked me, and how he was INTO me and so on and so on.

    If he wasn't into me then he would have stopped seeing me after date 1, 2 3, or 4. And he wouldn't be asking to see me each time.

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    May 02, 2011 10:22 PM GMT
    beneful1 saidI'm only going by my gut here Brian on this and from other posts of yours but you're coming across as a somewhat "complicated" guy. Maybe you over-analyze or over think everything in your mind and feed some inner demon. I don't know. icon_neutral.gif



    Oh so I'm the one who's complicated? When all along he says, "I'm here at Randy's, I'm here at Randy's. And then when I get there Randy comes downstairs and brings me my stuff and he says he's not even there."

    Now who the fuck complicated?
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    May 02, 2011 11:06 PM GMT
    Stop getting so clingy, he just wanted to hit it and quit it. Not very complicated.
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    May 03, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    OUCH to those comments made above icon_rolleyes.gif

    To the OP: hope you feel better now.
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    May 03, 2011 1:29 AM GMT
    Maybe he was/was not into you, maybe part of the problem is that he can't keep his word, maybe he's just shady, and maybe your expectations and the way that you inquisition about where he is or whether or not a guy will send you a post card freaks them out...
    At the end of the day, a healthy minded guy controls the control-ables and leaves the rest behind. In this case, your hostility or willingness to go with the flow is perceived as the control-able. So control that and if the guy makes you so mad that you want to create a discussion about it then just let him go and be done. No use in getting your nuts twisted son. Good luck w future conquests.
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    May 03, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    wowgamer92 saidStop getting so clingy, he just wanted to hit it and quit it. Not very complicated.


    Hit it? If anything I was the one hitting for the most part.

    hangulmal saidOUCH to those comments made above icon_rolleyes.gif

    To the OP: hope you feel better now.


    I most certainly do. I told him, "well if you don't care to carry on with me anymore, do me a favor and pass my number to your friend". Because his friend was damn sure into me that night grabbing on my titties at the bar in front of him.
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    May 03, 2011 3:47 AM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    wowgamer92 saidStop getting so clingy, he just wanted to hit it and quit it. Not very complicated.


    Hit it? If anything I was the one hitting for the most part.

    hangulmal saidOUCH to those comments made above icon_rolleyes.gif

    To the OP: hope you feel better now.


    I most certainly do. I told him, "well if you don't care to carry on with me anymore, do me a favor and pass my number to your friend". Because his friend was damn sure into me that night grabbing on my titties at the bar in front of him.


    icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif AWKWARD
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    May 04, 2011 4:19 PM GMT
    1) What's this "people pay me" thing? Are you an escort or something? Cause that right there would be a red flag for anything over 1 "get together."

    deltalimen saidI'm not looking for anything serious=I'm not in to you


    2) I concur with deltalimen. He's just not that into you. Sure you went on a couple of dates, but even I can tell from the couple of posts you've made that there doesn't seem to be much to you, and that you can appear to be shallow. I've italicized those words because obviously I don't know you, and therefore can't speak for those who do, but your words speak a language of their own, and they're not in your favor.

    Fit4FitnDenver said
    beneful1 saidI'm only going by my gut here Brian on this and from other posts of yours but you're coming across as a somewhat "complicated" guy. Maybe you over-analyze or over think everything in your mind and feed some inner demon. I don't know. icon_neutral.gif



    Oh so I'm the one who's complicated? When all along he says, "I'm here at Randy's, I'm here at Randy's. And then when I get there Randy comes downstairs and brings me my stuff and he says he's not even there."

    Now who the fuck complicated?


    3) Classic deflection. Instead of giving reasons/excuses to the question at hand, you head straight for the first person to blame. Bad form Jack, bad form.
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    May 04, 2011 8:24 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    beneful1 saidI'm only going by my gut here Brian on this and from other posts of yours but you're coming across as a somewhat "complicated" guy. Maybe you over-analyze or over think everything in your mind and feed some inner demon. I don't know. icon_neutral.gif



    Oh so I'm the one who's complicated? When all along he says, "I'm here at Randy's, I'm here at Randy's. And then when I get there Randy comes downstairs and brings me my stuff and he says he's not even there."

    Now who the fuck complicated?


    I'd forgotten this thread..

    I just gave an opinion saying saying I thought you're coming across as somewhat complicated and that maybe you're over analyzing things and that I don't know. How could I .. I wasn't party to this phone conversation you had with the guy when you say he told you he was over at your friends. There are all sorts of dynamics that could be in play between you and him. For example maybe you caught him at a bad time (him having a good time with someone else at his friends place) and were sort of forcing yourself upon him by wanting to come over right away and he wasn't finished.. who knows.. like I said. .I didn't overhear your phone conversation and only have your take on it.
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    May 04, 2011 9:44 PM GMT
    Allathlete saidSure you went on a couple of dates,


    It was actually about 4-5 dates. I mean, I will admit that it started off as a booty call type thing from the start.

    He was really into me and it kind of annoyed me that he would go on and on about how much he liked me when he was drunk, and he would apologize PROFUSELY and ask, "are you okay".

    I was really on the verge of breaking things off anyway because #1, he didn't really have an athletic body and #2, he just wasn't what I was looking for in a guy. His life consisted of work and the bar, that's it.

    I was just wondering why the whole 'serious card' had to be thrown out. It's like I was never intending that, yet they use it as a way to 'break it off' when in actuality we were never on in the first place! Because if we were I wouldn't be meeting and dating other guys in between our meet ups.

    hangulmal saidAWKWARD


    Hey! I only told him that because that night we were hanging out he said his friend asked him if he'd be willing to do a 3-som with him and I.

    The way I see it, if I'm too much for you to handle and your friend has an eye for me, be a good sport and pass the goods. Make someone else happy because obviously you and I aren't on the same page...
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    Jun 23, 2011 7:24 AM GMT
    This reminds me of a song.....