"Shy bladder" syndrome

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    Does anyone else suffer from this? It's technically called "paruresis", and it's the inability to urinate in the real or imagined presence of other people. This makes going in public restrooms an impossibility.

    I got hired for a job, and today, I had to go to a clinic to be tested for drugs. I was there for hours...Far longer than it should've ideally taken. It took me three tries to get myself to yield a urine sample. In that attempt, my bladder was so painfully full, yet I still had trouble. It was tremendously difficult to get myself to relax enough. The first time, I couldn't get anything. The second, just a slight bit, not nearly enough for a sample. I'm sooo glad that I did manage to finally make it happen. But the process was difficult, frustrating and upsetting... icon_sad.gif

    I've had this problem for awhile, and it's caused me grief at other times. Often, if I'm on the road with family or on a trip with the University, and we stop for bathroom breaks, and everyone's using the bathroom, I can't get myself to go. I feel like people are waiting for me, and I'm not going so it makes me more nervous! I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what they think and that they aren't judging me, but it doesn't help. Nothing helps! I know it's not an obstruction/physical problem because I can go just fine in the privacy of my own home.

    I try running the faucet or letting it drip, I flush the toilet (I wasn't allowed to do this during my test though), I try to breathe deeply and slowly, I try sitting instead of standing, and it's just making my life miserable. I'm even more anxious because I know in scenarios like jobs or being arrested and they need urine samples, there are bad consequences for failing to yield any. You're assumed guilty, the employer turns you down, etc.

    What a roller coaster of emotions I've been through today! I just wish this problem would stop!
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    May 03, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    wow, you've got it bad, I feel for you. I was 'only' pee-shy in my late teens and twenties, but was at least able to go in a stall. Now, I have no more problems.
    For me it was about getting comfortable with myself, accepting me and my faults.
    The only suggestion I have (and I'm not a therapist) is to spend lots of time naked and also to get naked with others. Once you come to accept yourself, that it's all natural, some of your problem might subside.
    Good luck

    If everything else fails go see a shrink.
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    May 03, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    Just fuckin piss and let it loose like you're pissing with a waterfall. Remember, we all piss. So the next time you're in a public bathroom just think of that.
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    May 03, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    I had it severely when I was younger. Severely. To the point where I was in college and I had to loiter outside a restroom waiting for it to clear out before I could go in. It was horrible, I felt so ashamed and powerless.

    My senior year of college I got drunk a lot. That flushed out a lot of insecurities and mental crap, including urinal shyness. Thanks booze!
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    May 03, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    I used to have it really bad, and still have occasional problems with it.
    Alcohol tends to help quite a bit. I could care less who's watching me piss when I'm drunk.
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    May 03, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    I have it a little bit. I am usually ok in any restroom as long as I can go in a stall to piss. I feel kinda stupid sometimes if there are 10 urinals open and I stand up pee in a stall, so then I just sit down so I don't make obvious stand up pee noises lol.

    I have been completely screwed a few times. ESP at public events like outdoor concerts. Standing in line for a stall is just a pain in the ass, but I seriously cannot use a trough. I could stand there for an hour, it wouldn't happen.

    Ive noticed at the bars I've been getting better at using a urinal though. I just try to let whatever come into my mind completely dominate. It usually goes something like this (orange, glasses, tile, water, wakeboarding, question mark, english, school, jock, football, baseball, brewers, cubs) just random shit. it stops me from thinking!!

    Whats weird to me is that I have no problem whipping out my cock and showing the world. I have no issues with it and I skinny dip with my friends allll the time. Also, once I start its all systems go. I could back 4 feet from the urinal and let everyone watch me arch it for all I care. Its getting relaxed to let it flow that just doesn't happen easy and I've wondered for years why!!! Still perplexing to me.
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    May 03, 2011 2:45 AM GMT
    I occasionally have something like that. I hate going into public restrooms for this reason. I can't even go in my fraternity house's bathroom because I worry that someone will walk in (besides it's dirty anyway) so I go across the street to the less-used bathroom in our rec center.

    If its really bad though I tell myself to suck it up and go anyway.
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    May 03, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    I feel bad for yall. I have only a very minor case of that where I can overcome it quickly when I set my mind to it. You just gotta stop caring about what other people think. Maybe go break the rules of the bathroom and pee next to another guy and make it loud. That might give you confidence.
    I'm sure it carries over to getting off in bed? Do you have trouble reaching orgasm with other people? I certainly do, and I think it's intimately related to shy bladder syndrome.
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    May 03, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    Yup, I've got it here too lol. It's frustrating and annoying because I have to wait for people to leave the restroom or strategically enter when nobody is there. I'm not really embarrassed about it though, I've told my friends that I'm pee shy and they think it's pretty funny, not in a mean way though lol
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    May 03, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    Sometimes I feel very lucky to have been in the military because it breaks a lot of these sorts of anxieties. Piss in public urinal? No problem. Community showers? Pass the soap. After a long day of basic training crawling through the mud, I was ready for a shower no matter who might be looking at my shriveled up pecker.
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    May 03, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Years ago, I saw a tv show that said if you suffer from this, try counting your 13 times tables in your head. I occasionally get a shy bladder, so one day when it struck me at the urinal I tried it: 13...26...39...52...and it happened. Try it and see if works for you.
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    May 03, 2011 4:10 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI had it severely when I was younger. Severely. To the point where I was in college and I had to loiter outside a restroom waiting for it to clear out before I could go in. It was horrible, I felt so ashamed and powerless.

    My senior year of college I got drunk a lot. That flushed out a lot of insecurities and mental crap, including urinal shyness. Thanks booze!


    haha OMG same here!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 4:58 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidI had it severely when I was younger. Severely. To the point where I was in college and I had to loiter outside a restroom waiting for it to clear out before I could go in. It was horrible, I felt so ashamed and powerless.

    My senior year of college I got drunk a lot. That flushed out a lot of insecurities and mental crap, including urinal shyness. Thanks booze!


    Maybe I need to just have a few drinks more often... icon_confused.gif
  • Crashingthewa...

    Posts: 189

    May 03, 2011 5:08 AM GMT
    its wierd, i have no pee shyness in public restrooms but once it becomes part of a sexual nature then i get pee shy....maybe its the focus on it
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    May 03, 2011 5:29 AM GMT
    I'm not a doctor but I believe its the parasympathetic nervous system that needs to be properly engaged to urinate with control. Often when we're anxious our sympathetic nervous system overworks and we lose the ability to control basic bodily functions (breathe becomes more rapid, we start to sweat, can't urinate, etc.)

    I used to have this issue but found that taking a couple of deep, conscious breathes into the diaphragm (which activates the parasympathetic nervous system) always worked.

    Good luck.
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    May 03, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    bluey2223 said
    I'm sure it carries over to getting off in bed? Do you have trouble reaching orgasm with other people? I certainly do, and I think it's intimately related to shy bladder syndrome.


    It absofrickinlutely does with me. I'm hideously cum shy icon_redface.gif
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    May 03, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    Szchatt89 said

    Maybe I need to just have a few drinks more often get shitfaced a couple times and stumble drunk into the bathroom and pee normally... icon_confused.gif


    fix'd!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    I used to. If I focus on something else, the "shyness" would be forgotten.
    What worked for me was to recall the Greek alphabet forwards or backwards or remember the list of squares or cubes.