Sigh. Some gay guys have absolutely everything.

  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    May 03, 2011 6:47 AM GMT
    sometimes i just look at some of gay guys, just think how can someone be as perfect as they are, great career, bought house and holiday houses, perfect body, perfect partner and friends, amazing fuck buddies.

    THis really makes me quite depressed yet motivated at the same time, i guess it can be a good thing. But i think it would be unhealthy to be driven my anxiety so I can be as good as him.

    care to enlighten me ?
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    May 03, 2011 6:55 AM GMT
    Do your own thing and excel at it.
    Then others will be envious of you.

    When the grass looks greener on the other side, fill your yard with sand and lay out like you're at the beach. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 03, 2011 7:01 AM GMT
    Perfect on the outside often equals hot mess on the inside.

    Just saying.
  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    May 03, 2011 7:01 AM GMT
    it really comes down to money i guess, i am so desperate to get out of school now!!!!
  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    May 03, 2011 7:02 AM GMT
    Runninchlt saidPerfect on the outside often equals hot mess on the inside.

    Just saying.


    hot mes on the inside is as good as it gets icon_smile.gif
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    May 03, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    It takes three eons to travel the road to enlightenment. In the meantime ask yourself, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

    If your motivation is to keep up with the Joneses, your accomplishments will feel hollow. Follow your passion and find a way for people to pay you to do it.
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    May 03, 2011 7:58 AM GMT
    Your views and perceptions appear oversimplified. I guess there is a lot to life that you have to learn (as do the rest of us). Quality of life isn't merely measured through the material posessions and superficial qualities you listed.
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    May 03, 2011 10:34 AM GMT
    I am old enough to be settled, secure in my career, extremely lucky to not want for money or things at this point in my life. Friends who rely on me for emotional support often assume that my life is perfect, that I couldn't possibly need a shoulder to lean on or that my problems must be unimportant. More crassly, I find out that some guys just want to hang around because of the stuff. It's very frustrating.

    One tangible example - we entertain a lot, but there are some guys who never reciprocate in any way, shape or form. They expect to be invited around, but never pick up the phone to ask us to do anything. Some have said that they could never "compete," as if friendship were a competition. We had one friend who finally asked us over to his little apartment with no furniture, where we sat on the floor and ate homemade soup and talked for hours. It was a great time and though life has taken us to different places, I love him for it to this day.

    It's easy for me to say, but please count your blessings. Do what you need to do to be happy in yourself and try not to be jealous of what others have. Your friends will love you because of it.
  • XxXxXxAZNxXxX...

    Posts: 615

    May 03, 2011 11:50 AM GMT
    If you want it, GO FOR IT!
    I know this sounds super cheesy and dumb, but perseverance will get you very far icon_smile.gif
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    May 03, 2011 11:51 AM GMT
    wait, how can you tell when someone has amazing fuck buddies?
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    May 03, 2011 11:51 AM GMT
    They have their own crap going on. Don't be fooled.
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    May 03, 2011 12:05 PM GMT
    Nobody has the perfect life..If life was perfect....I doubt we'd even be on this forum!
  • Razzmaniac

    Posts: 240

    May 03, 2011 12:09 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidDo your own thing and excel at it.
    Then others will be envious of you.

    When the grass looks greener on the other side, fill your yard with sand and lay out like you're at the beach. icon_biggrin.gif


    Thats awesome. Great quote. . .
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    May 03, 2011 12:10 PM GMT
    I have moments -- fleeting though they may be -- when I'd gladly trade the house, vacation home, BMW, and bank balance just to be 25 again.

    It's nice to be comfortable but there's always a sort of nagging sense of Ou sont les neiges d'autan?
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    May 03, 2011 12:13 PM GMT
    TexDef07 saidI have moments -- fleeting though they may be -- when I'd gladly trade the house, vacation home, BMW, and bank balance just to be 25 again.

    It's nice to be comfortable but there's always a sort of nagging sense of Ou sont les neiges d'autan?


    Oh, no he DIDN'T force me to use google to figure that one out!
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    May 03, 2011 12:15 PM GMT
    RICHARD COREY by Edwin Arlington Robinson (1897)


    Whenever Richard Corey went down town,
    We people on the pavement looked at him:
    He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
    Clean favored, and imperially slim.

    And he was always quietly arrayed,
    And he was always human when he talked;
    But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
    "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

    And he was rich--yes, richer than a king,
    And admirably schooled in every grace:
    In fine, we thought that he was everything
    To make us wish that we were in his place.

    So on we worked, and waited for the light,
    And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
    And Richard Corey, one calm summer night,
    Went home and put a bullet through his head.
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    May 03, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    showme said Oh, no he DIDN'T force me to use google to figure that one out!

    It's been too long since they made you take French in high school, which sort of reinforces my point, alas.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 03, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    What is this "green grass" syndrome....?

    I've had friends make comments like that to me after seeing my home and all the hard work I put in after having my home built.... or after I've talked about progress at the gym, etc. Sure, I feel like I have a successful life, partner, happy with how I live and the progress I've made, but anybody can achieve a healthy, happy and successful life if they put their mind to it.

    And what makes a "fuck buddy" part of that perception? LOL
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    May 03, 2011 12:17 PM GMT
    Ermine said
    If your motivation is to keep up with the Joneses, your accomplishments will feel hollow. Follow your passion and find a way for people to pay you to do it.


    Totally agree...a lot of people pay so much attention to others and what they have and then they complain about working 12 hour days without getting a break.

    And all of them will tell you it took time and didn't happen overnight. I haven't accomplished everything I want yet, but I've come along way from when I was 19 and where I am now.

    Find content in what you have and if you desire to get more, do so...but focusing on what other people have is only going to make you feel worse. Because you'll feel you can never amount to them.

    I say this because I knew of a friend who was always comparing himself and me to other people and how other people seemed to being doing so good, driving new cars blah blah blah. Well so what. I drive my 90s model car and have lots of free time and travel and don't have to worry about a car payment. And if someone wants to talk shit then they'd better be fucking paying me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    Seconded on perfect on the outside = hot mess on the inside.

    Idk, I think this applies to people outside of the gay community. Most of the "wildly successful" people / friends I know, definitely have issues that extend well beyond the great body, awesome party life, ridiculous summer internships, and straight A's (just using my context as a college student for what "perfect" tends to mean here). Minimally, the combination of those things comes with creepily high levels of dedication to maintaining that level of "perfection" and the mental, emotional, and physical strain of that maintenance do not always have the prettiest of side effects.

    That said, two caveats:

    1. Realistically, you could totally not have it all and still have issues (life does not seem to be terribly concerned with fulfilling our need for even distribution of luck, wealth, intellect, etc etc)

    2. I'll probably get disagreement on this, but I'd totally take hot mess and "successful" over stable lifestyle and "average" (you know... if all of life's decisions were binary and we actually had total say in the matter icon_smile.gif )

    Long story short, I think there's some choice involved here. I think we all encounter situations daily where we're given the choice of how much we want to sacrifice to get what we want (and some people have to sacrifice more to achieve the same results). Whatever you choose, I think it's most important that you're happy with not just the results, but the cost you paid to get them: if the balance works out for what you want, I'd call that success.
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    May 03, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
  • fitnesshound

    Posts: 36

    May 03, 2011 12:38 PM GMT
    I agree with Paulflexes...just do your own thing...be your own person...and everything will fall into place for you.

    But, with that said, if you're in a bad environment where there's not much opportunity...move! icon_smile.gif
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    May 03, 2011 1:02 PM GMT
    TexDef07 said
    showme said Oh, no he DIDN'T force me to use google to figure that one out!

    It's been too long since they made you take French in high school, which sort of reinforces my point, alas.


    I only took Spanish and, in college Ancient Greek, so your additional ennui is unjustified. icon_wink.gif
  • nooceansleft

    Posts: 61

    May 03, 2011 1:08 PM GMT
    turbobillyWhenever Richard Corey went down town,
    We people on the pavement looked at him:
    He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
    Clean favored, and imperially slim.

    And he was always quietly arrayed,
    And he was always human when he talked;
    But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
    "Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

    And he was rich--yes, richer than a king,
    And admirably schooled in every grace:
    In fine, we thought that he was everything
    To make us wish that we were in his place.

    So on we worked, and waited for the light,
    And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
    And Richard Corey, one calm summer night,
    Went home and put a bullet through his head.


    ...that is one fucking sick poem dude.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    May 03, 2011 1:10 PM GMT
    Never compare your insides to other people's outsides.