Seconded on perfect on the outside = hot mess on the inside.
Idk, I think this applies to people outside of the gay community. Most of the "wildly successful" people / friends I know, definitely have issues that extend well beyond the great body, awesome party life, ridiculous summer internships, and straight A's (just using my context as a college student for what "perfect" tends to mean here). Minimally, the combination of those things comes with creepily high levels of dedication to maintaining that level of "perfection" and the mental, emotional, and physical strain of that maintenance do not always have the prettiest of side effects.
That said, two caveats:
1. Realistically, you could totally not have it all and still have issues (life does not seem to be terribly concerned with fulfilling our need for even distribution of luck, wealth, intellect, etc etc)
2. I'll probably get disagreement on this, but I'd totally take hot mess and "successful" over stable lifestyle and "average" (you know... if all of life's decisions were binary and we actually had total say in the matter
Long story short, I think there's some choice involved here. I think we all encounter situations daily where we're given the choice of how much we want to sacrifice to get what we want (and some people have to sacrifice more to achieve the same results). Whatever you choose, I think it's most important that you're happy with not just the results, but the cost you paid to get them: if the balance works out for what you want, I'd call that success.