Gay questions and reasons?

  • TallSoCal

    Posts: 321

    May 03, 2011 7:54 AM GMT
    Someone please explain to me what the hell gay guys are about. I really don't understand some things.

    1. Ignoring someone you're not interested in: I'm just curious why people don't just say so rather than ignore. Is it because responding to someone you're not interested in may give them hope?

    2. Distance after sex: Why do people make things so awkward after sex when the times and conversations prior, you're the most incredible person ever? Do people feel ashamed after the big finish? Do guys just "toot it and boot it" even when they've admitted they've found an awesome guy rather than try to make it work?

    3. Only looking for friends: I have almost no gay friends. So, when I say it, I mean it. I think this is an excuse a lot of guys use when they're getting hit on by someone they don't find attractive (assuming they haven't ignored them already). Is that the case? Or do people only want attractive friends?

    4. Lying about everything: Age, name, dick size, weight, height...etc. You're gonna meet the person you're lying to eventually. Is it an insecurity thing? Is it a good impression someone is trying to make? What about when you've know the person for a while? And you think everything is going wonderfully because the dude repeatedly tells you you're what he wants and that you guys should keep dating...all the while he's losing interest, but it's too hard for him to be honest and say so? So, he keeps feeding you the lies while you fall harder and faster. Wtf's that about? (Don't ask. lol)

    5. Using your body to get attention: I'm guilty of this because I think my body is better looking than my face. Haha. Would you guys say that would qualify as teasing? Cause I'm not the only one that does this.

    Clearly, I'm speaking from experience, but what do you guys think? What're your reasonings? What do you think about guys doing these things? Are any of you guilty of these?
  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    May 03, 2011 8:06 AM GMT
    1. because they might have limit number of messages or they dont want to say yes now and definitely dont want to say no either. let them get back to you on their on pace.

    2, your question should be distance after casual sex. its not just limited to gay men, straight men do the same thing. both of you there to do one thing, that is getting off. after its done move on. if hes has and you havent, just means that he is not that into you.

    3. thats usually an excuse, easier for them to say no. or not reply at all.

    4. people lie about anything tend not to meet. as least i find that. then again, i generally dont meet people from the net. i want to see the person first then make a decision.

    sometimes, a lot of times, online chatter use you as their validation, they just want you to say things they want to hear but never really wanted to meet up. another reason i take internet chatting very lightly.

    5. muscle is hot, nothing wrong with that. I understand it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 8:10 AM GMT
    WOW OP such a great topic!

    1. Vindictive assholes, that's why.

    I went to hook up with someone (from friendster...LONG time ago). When he came to my door I realized he was not my type. I told him immediately. He still insisted and I insisted that he leave. He seemed nice and I felt bad for outright rejecting him. Later on he sent me hate mail and put a fake ad up on Craigslist with my number and address and to come over and piss all over me.

    The above story doesn't happen all the time, but it happens enough where I will ignore someone if I suspect they could be a lunatic. In other words, if they seem like the type that will argue, then I don't want to bother bringing up something they'll want to argue about. Having said that, I'll still tell someone the truth before ignoring them, just because I want the same to happen to me. I'll just make sure they don't have my address.

    3. When people say they are "Only looking for friends" it could mean a variety of things, but in most cases it is a euphemism for "I want to fuck but I don't want you to think I'm a whore." I'm guilty of saying "only looking for friends" rarely when in the back of my mind I'm still hoping to fuck. But sometimes I've said it because I'm genuinely looking for new friends. But yeah, it makes no sense to say this. If you're looking for friends and you've lived in the same place for over a year, then either something is wrong with you, or you need to cut back your hours at work. In my case, I live in LA. So friends turn out to be flakes and I have to find new ones. Or maybe something is wrong with me. We'll find out next week when I move to NYC and see if I can make friends there.

    4. I HATE HATE HATE this one so much. I will refuse to be friends with people who lie about basic stats. If you have to deny who you are for sexual gratification then I'm sure you're lying to me as your friend somehow. I wish there were more hot gays that were older to motivate guys to admit their age.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 8:21 AM GMT
    All I can truthfully say, is that I know one thing for sure, in the matter of kinda relating to this post:

    * Getting NO RESPONSE AT ALL, when you hit someone up, IS A RESPONSE, St8 up....

    Yeah, I know it blows B I G JUJU, but you gotta keep truckin' along with the rest of em', you knowicon_idea.gificon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gificon_exclaim.gificon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2011 1:12 PM GMT
    1. "Ignoring someone you're not interested in." I dunno, I don't get that one, either. It's generally rude, despite my younger friends here who seem to think that manners have changed due to the Internet. ;-)

    "Is it because responding to someone you're not interested in may give them hope?" There is a grain of truth to this. We have all encountered guys who won't take no for an answer, for whom any interaction is an excuse to keep communication going. Once you've said no thank you politely, if someone keeps pestering you I think it's fine to ignore them.

    2. "Distance after sex." I think that's because some guys really just want to have sex, they're not interested in anything further.

    3. "Only looking for friends." Yes, this is often an excuse that guys use. Look at Grindr - at least in DC it is chock full of guys in relationships who are just "looking for friends." It gives them plausible deniability. Friends are much, much harder to find than hook-ups.

    4." Lying about everything: Age, name, dick size, weight, height...etc." Pisses me off royally. I am always honest about my age. I have met guys whose online profiles claim they are the same age as me, or even younger, but when I meet them they're clearly at least a decade older (and their pics are the same age). They think they are going to get something out of pity, which they're not - they'd have better luck being straightforward and honest. That said, this is so widespread that I think you have to just accept it as a fact of life and try to work around it.

    5. "Using your body to get attention." OK, you don't need any advice on that one. ;-)