Regarding a Past Relationship...

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    May 03, 2011 10:30 AM GMT
    If I was to ask someone about his past relationships, good or bad, I would like to hear that he also learned from it. Cause he and I weren't compatible, I can only imagine all the shit he'd be saying about me behind my back. So many people are ready to say shit. And the truth won't go as far as a lie... Cause a lie is juicy and can be exaggerated while truth stands.

    If I had an Ex, I'd have to say, "It was a learning experience." Cause in the end, bad or good, they should be learning experiences and if you still hold that kind of anger or have enough hate in yourself to bash everyone you know... then that tells me you haven't entirely learned from it. If it is over, what did you learn? If the guy was extremely horny and he cheated on you... Lesson: Date someone who is less of an openly sexual deviant addict. If he was a complete dishonest liar... Lesson: Learn to understand people better and read into what people say. Yes it can be learned because if it happened, it just happened so you can learn from it.

    I don't have really any much dating experience, so I'm not the one to give advice about past relationships. But I do feel that a mature person would say both, good and bad and say he learned from it. Or, that he experienced a lot and now knows himself better and what he wants from someone else more than before.

    t kinda makes me wonder if I ever became an Ex to someone (Not that I plan to be), all the stuff they'd say and how unbelievably immature it could be. Its just extra uneeded drama.

    Any feedback is welcome.
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    May 03, 2011 12:52 PM GMT
    I remember first getting involved with my ex years ago. I introduced him to my best friend, and in conversation something came up about his previous ex.
    His response, "That fat bastard."

    My best friend looked at me and told me to remember that because he might be saying that about me in a few years. I'm sure he's saying it as we speak.

    When referring to my ex I usually sarcastically say, "He was a real treat."

    -I loved
    -I lost
    -I learned
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    May 03, 2011 1:47 PM GMT
    Is the phrase "i wana choke the living shit outta him" considered a learning experience? Lol, j/k

    For me I think it would depend on what stage Im in after the break up. If its still kinda fresh & ur hurting its hard to think of things positively. I can remember so many wonderful loving things about my ex, but the things he did to hurt me, lie to me & cheat on me trump all of that right now.

    In time I might feel different though. I definitely consider it a learning experience. The phrase "live & learn" pops into my head, so how can you learn if you dont get out there and live?
  • Csrobbie2000

    Posts: 359

    May 03, 2011 3:04 PM GMT
    If I have nothing nice to say about an exbf, then I usually describe him as "and interesting" or "a very unique person" and leave it at that. There's a reason why we are exbfs, and there's no need to trash talk about someone you once loved.
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    May 03, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    For me "learning lessons" is not about learning about how to read other people or anything.. its about learning things about yourself, how YOU feel, react, are etc.... and you wind up in relationships with others as a reflection of whatever it is that you set out to learn about yourself...
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    May 03, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    it's revealing when people can't think of anything nice to say about an ex, clearly, there's a reason why he's an ex or he would still be your man, but what people often leave out is the reason he was your man to begin with. you chose someone, and that choice made sense at the time.

    i'm civil or friendly with most of my exes. the rest i've lost touch with.
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    May 03, 2011 10:22 PM GMT
    I loved him......I still do........icon_wink.gif
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    May 03, 2011 11:02 PM GMT
    All of my ex's I have learned from... some are gone from my life because we went our separate ways and others have a way of just lingering in your life. it's those moments that I think of the person i fell for, not the people we both were at the end...
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    May 04, 2011 12:49 AM GMT
    I have some guys in my past that I don't have anything nice to currently say, but I never bad mouth people. There's a reason why someone is an ex, and I don't need to talk about my past connections in the present. If someone needs to spit venom about their past boys, they clearly have issues moving on. You don't wanna get involved with a guy who has that much emotional baggage.
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    May 04, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
    Each relationship you engage in is very different. Some are wonderful experiences. Some are not. You learn and grow with each experience. When it is time to move forward, you generally keep the past in the past.

    I generally don't talk about past relationships. Once a relationship is over for me, I rarely talk about it. It becomes history, and I look forward to starting anew (not bringing old baggage with me). My past relationships are private. Each has a special place in my heart that I revisit from time to time but rarely chose to share with others. JMO
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    May 15, 2011 9:17 PM GMT
    Thanks for the feed back. =D I like the responses cause they are all true. And it did make me realize something... What if an ex trully did do something terrible... I mean, I've never been in that situation, but I mean, what if (he) took everything you had for granted and literally left you with nothing... I can see why you have nothing good to say, especially if its still affecting you today. icon_sad.gif

    Learning experience... I guess sometimes it costs us a lot to learn about ourselves. I wish I was smarter, hahaha! Or if only we'd learn the easy way and not learn the hard ways.
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    May 15, 2011 9:31 PM GMT
    I always remember the good, focus on the positive, never on the negative.