How do you know If a guy is hitting on you, or he's just being friendly???

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  May 03, 2011 7:08 PM GMT

  Well I was just buying a breakfast sandwich this morning. This cute guy walked by and we exchanged eye contact for about 2-3 seconds. He then quickly got behind me on the checkout line, and made a comment about my sandwich and smiled....blah blah blah + small talks. Now I get these friendly comments from time to time, but usually from women. So I wasn't sure whether or not the guy was being friendly, or hitting on me (and frankly I don't really care because I am happily betrothed). Now even when I get them from women I still don't have the darnest idea if they are being friendly or else. I have no game
  
  So my questions are:
  
  1. How do you know if a guy is being friendly or if he's trying to pick you up?
  
  2. I am pretty sure if there weren't that initial eye contact, he would've kept his mouth shut and have not said anything, so...how important is eye contact and how do you know if it's just a friendly eye contact or umm....a lusty one? lol
  
  I'm sure this topic has been done, like 2,000 times already on RJ. But I'm 1). too damn lazy to dig them out and, 2). Would like to hear some fresh opinions =). Thanks guys in advance for your participation!

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• rnch
  
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  May 03, 2011 7:15 PM GMT

  i seldom know for sure.
  
  others, i can judge...myself is always a mystery.
  
  
  :whatever:

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  May 03, 2011 7:17 PM GMT

  Sometimes it's impossible to know for sure without asking.
  If he can't handle the question, that's his problem.

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  May 03, 2011 7:41 PM GMT

  Have you tried hitting back? You can usually tell from there.

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  May 03, 2011 9:01 PM GMT

  @rnch. I can judge others but not myself. Same.
  
  @Paul. How exactly do I ask that? "Are you hitting on me or you just want to sleep with me?" is kinda tacky, no?
  
  @Honeydew (my fave fruit btw). I guess you skipped the part I said I have no game, not that I care. Like this guy made the comment that it's too early to have a turkey sandwich for breakfast. All I can say is that Au Bon Pain's breakfast sandwiches are too oily, and I cannot have too much carb like bagel for breakfast because I need to stay awake...totally lame, I know.

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• BardBear
  
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  May 04, 2011 10:09 AM GMT

  Ask him out. That simple. If you're not interested, who cares if he is hitting on you.
  
  Peace,
  Bardy

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  May 04, 2011 10:12 AM GMT

  Most guys aren't interested in your sandwich. Hint?

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  May 04, 2011 10:26 AM GMT

  I'm similar to you and taken as well
  
  Just the other day I was at work at the bank of elevators and I was just about to miss an elevator but a friendly guy held the elevator and I smiled. Made a little small talk and I was thinking he was being nice until he grabbed my ass on the way out....

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  May 04, 2011 10:29 AM GMT

  Well.....

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  May 04, 2011 12:13 PM GMT

  turbobilly saidMost guys aren't interested in your sandwich. Hint?

  
  
  .....................??
  
  .....................Oh!
  
  Damn it where were you yesterday morning?! LOL. That makes sense. It was an odd comment for the context. That is a good hint. . I should revaluate comments that people make from now on instead of just taking them face value.
  

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  May 04, 2011 12:22 PM GMT

  goldenfoxtails saidI'm similar to you and taken as well
  
  Just the other day I was at work at the bank of elevators and I was just about to miss an elevator but a friendly guy held the elevator and I smiled. Made a little small talk and I was thinking he was being nice until he grabbed my ass on the way out....

  
  
  That's so low-class! And hot at the same time So did you and your BF make a sandwich out of him?

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• HndsmKansan
  
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  May 04, 2011 12:32 PM GMT

  You know sometimes it's hard to tell whether he fits into the categories you mentioned.... maybe it's neither!
  
  He took the initiative to be friendly. I'd take it that way until he proves his intentions. He might want to get to know you. I think if he makes comments about you physically, you can begin to wonder a bit.
  Have fun and enjoy, why analyze every move? (am I saying this?? LOL).

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  May 04, 2011 6:55 PM GMT

  HndsmKansan saidYou know sometimes it's hard to tell whether he fits into the categories you mentioned.... maybe it's neither!
  
  He took the initiative to be friendly. I'd take it that way until he proves his intentions. He might want to get to know you. I think if he makes comments about you physically, you can begin to wonder a bit.
  Have fun and enjoy, why analyze every move? (am I saying this?? LOL).

  
  
  Well with your bod I'm sure you get that a lot Most of the time I wear loose fitting clothes...except at the gym. Hey! I just got commented on the other day by a trainer, maybe he was hinting something...
  
  Oh man! I suck at this. How am I even in a relationship?!?!

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  May 04, 2011 10:24 PM GMT

  Trollileo said

  cityaznguy said
  Oh man! I suck at this. How am I even in a relationship?!?!

  Because you're so damn awesome.

  
  
  
  
  I think you're pretty awesome too. Want me to read you the dictionary?
  

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  May 04, 2011 10:33 PM GMT

  Don't read too much in to it.
  
  Personally, I'm friendly with everyone and quite chatty and I mean absolutely nothing by it. It’s just a small town Midwest thing. I've had them run from me in West Hollywood just because I'm friendly, but I'm OLD!!!! It's so funny. It's like get OVER yourself sweetheart. Only in Weho homoville does something like this happen or really the gay ghetto anywhere.

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• iHavok
  
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  May 04, 2011 10:33 PM GMT

  I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they are just being friendly, unless there is clear indications of interest (no commenting on a sandwich or jacket isn't a clear indication, but comments on physique, or something about me would be).
  
  I just remember how often it's unpleasant when someone I'm not interested in (read that as women) hit on me, and I dont want to make others feel that way, especially if they are just genuinely outgoing...

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  May 05, 2011 2:02 PM GMT

  OneGeezer saidDon't read too much in to it.
  
  Personally, I'm friendly with everyone and quite chatty and I mean absolutely nothing by it. It’s just a small town Midwest thing. I've had them run from me in West Hollywood just because I'm friendly, but I'm OLD!!!! It's so funny. It's like get OVER yourself sweetheart. Only in Weho homoville does something like this happen or really the gay ghetto anywhere.

  
  
  I don't know what the young ones are thinking these days. Do they think they'll never get old?! A problem in gay town these days, definitely.
  
  

  iHavok saidI tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they are just being friendly, unless there is clear indications of interest (no commenting on a sandwich or jacket isn't a clear indication, but comments on physique, or something about me would be).
  
  I just remember how often it's unpleasant when someone I'm not interested in (read that as women) hit on me, and I dont want to make others feel that way, especially if they are just genuinely outgoing...

  
  
  Yeah but when a total stranger (even if he's hot as hell) start making comments about the wonderful broad shoulders and tight glut muscles that you have, you can't help but cringe and vomit a little bit. Or in my case, just burst out laughing because I'd know they're lying, lol.

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  May 05, 2011 10:59 PM GMT

  I have this problem a lot. After embarrassing myself too many times by asking the guy out and getting rejected, I realized that my own wishful thinking was clouding my interpretation.
  
  So, here's the acid test I use:
  
  Imagine the hot guy is actually really ugly. Then, ask yourself: is he making me feel uncomfortable, like he's trying to get into my pants when he has no hope in hell? If you can honestly say "yes" to this question, then the guy is flirting with you. If not, he's just being friendly.
  
  Sorry to be cynical, but 99% of the time they're just being friendly, even if you're extremely hot (in which case 99% of guys are going to be too intimidated to flirt with you seriously).

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