So I'm gonna finally do it..........

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    so I'm sick of not being able to comment on when a guy is hot ect.
    and recently i feel a lot more confident with who i am
    so i've decided to 'come out' well at least to my close friends and then my family (not looking forward to that) ....... but i was wondering what to say i've no idea where to even start....... any tips??
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 03, 2011 9:25 PM GMT
    Good for you. Start with your closest friends. I'd start off telling the friend how you've changed recently. Name things that you have done that have helped to give you confidence and successes you've had recently.

    Then tell them that there are some other things about you, you'd like to relate. Be clear. I'm gay.. I like who I am, but still in the process of getting used to the idea. You'll know immediately how they will take it and move accordingly with it. Good luck, keep us informed!
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    May 03, 2011 9:27 PM GMT
    great news! icon_smile.gif Note that you can still be a man and be open. Glad you have decided to go down that path.
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    May 03, 2011 9:28 PM GMT
    First, mentally prepare for the worst. Then take a deep breath, clear your throat, and say "uh, dude, why the fuck do you like pussy? That shit's nasty, yo. Dick is much better. I ain't down with that straight shit, know what I mean bro?"
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    May 03, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidFirst, mentally prepare for the worst. Then take a deep breath, clear your throat, and say "uh, dude, why the fuck do you like pussy? That shit's nasty, yo. Dick is much better. I ain't down with that straight shit, know what I mean bro?"

    well i don't think i'd put it quite like that but i think they'd definitely get the point if i did haha icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 03, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidGood for you. Start with your closest friends. I'd start off telling the friend how you've changed recently. Name things that you have done that have helped to give you confidence and successes you've had recently.

    Then tell them that there are some other things about you, you'd like to relate. Be clear. I'm gay.. I like who I am, but still in the process of getting used to the idea. You'll know immediately how they will take it and move accordingly with it. Good luck, keep us informed!


    and if they don't take it well? icon_confused.gif
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    May 03, 2011 9:51 PM GMT
    BiJamie saidand if they don't take it well? icon_confused.gif
    That's why the first sentence in my reply was "mentally prepare for the worst."
    Some will take it well, some won't, and at least one will end up in bed with you...and the probability of that one being the hottest is very high. icon_wink.gif
  • TrentGrad

    Posts: 1541

    May 03, 2011 9:52 PM GMT
    BiJamie said
    HndsmKansan saidGood for you. Start with your closest friends. I'd start off telling the friend how you've changed recently. Name things that you have done that have helped to give you confidence and successes you've had recently.

    Then tell them that there are some other things about you, you'd like to relate. Be clear. I'm gay.. I like who I am, but still in the process of getting used to the idea. You'll know immediately how they will take it and move accordingly with it. Good luck, keep us informed!


    and if they don't take it well? icon_confused.gif


    If they don't take it well, I guess you kind of have to accept that...but also acknowledge what it means ultimately about their friendship.

    Friends who cannot accept you for who you are...were they ever your friends?
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    May 03, 2011 9:53 PM GMT
    TrentGrad saidFriends who cannot accept you for who you are...were they ever your friends?
    Most important question of all time!
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    May 03, 2011 10:23 PM GMT
    thanks again I'm meeting up with my best guy friend tomorrow so i guess i'll see how it goes but have to admit dreading it a little icon_confused.gif
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    May 03, 2011 10:40 PM GMT
    BiJamie saidthanks again I'm meeting up with my best guy friend tomorrow so i guess i'll see how it goes but have to admit dreading it a little icon_confused.gif
    More than likely he won't give a fuck. If he does, then you know he was never "really" your friend anyway.
    Either way, I wish you the best. icon_biggrin.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 04, 2011 12:50 AM GMT
    "Do people think I'm gay?" is the best question to start the conversation with!
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    May 04, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
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    May 04, 2011 3:55 AM GMT
    Trollileo said If they're not chill within a week, then screw them.


    Lol. Impatient boy! You could give them just a little longer than that. icon_wink.gif

    But really, its all good. Even if not everyone reacts perfectly, it is such a huge relief not to have to constantly monitor yourself, to be afraid of slipping up. When I came out, some folks were actually a little pissed off that I hadn't trusted them sooner!
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    May 04, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    so i told my best friend today and he was so cool with it! which was great icon_smile.gif totally unexpected I'm going to tell more during the week, hopefully it goes as well icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 04, 2011 3:45 PM GMT
    Congrats, and hugs. Fingers crossed that all of your friends are as loving and supportive.
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    May 04, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    BiJamie saidso i told my best friend today and he was so cool with it! which was great icon_smile.gif totally unexpected I'm going to tell more during the week, hopefully it goes as well icon_biggrin.gif
    Congrats! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2011 4:29 PM GMT
    If you have good friends that really know you, you being gay isn't going to be that much of a surprise. If other gay men can know when other men are gay it stands to reason that someone knows you really well can too icon_smile.gif

    Family can be more delicate but remember they love you and even if it takes time for them to understand, you can tell them and still have a relationship with them.

    I've heard stories of the most conservative hardline families coming around.
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    May 04, 2011 4:51 PM GMT
    Start with playing Lady Gaga's Born this Way song playing in the background while talking to family. And be direct and firm.
    Second, Face pics on your profile! Good clear pics, and lots!
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    May 04, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    adam228 said
    Family can be more delicate but remember they love you and even if it takes time for them to understand, you can tell them and still have a relationship with them.

    I've heard stories of the most conservative hardline families coming around.


    absolutely dreading telling the family!
    i thinks my bros and sis would be ok with it but not my parents at least for a few months
  • toscuba

    Posts: 15

    May 04, 2011 5:49 PM GMT
    Good luck with the rest of your friends.

    Believe it or not, just came out to my two closest friends, one said he had known for 15 years and did not make a difference. He was waiting till i was comfortable telling him. Only 6 more close friends and then Family ( that is the one that makes me nervous). The rest of my friends, coworkers, will find naturally.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 04, 2011 5:55 PM GMT
    Hi...check out utube for guys telling their stories on coming out. You could get a lot of good info from them.
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    May 04, 2011 6:04 PM GMT
    BiJamie said
    adam228 said
    Family can be more delicate but remember they love you and even if it takes time for them to understand, you can tell them and still have a relationship with them.

    I've heard stories of the most conservative hardline families coming around.


    absolutely dreading telling the family!
    i thinks my bros and sis would be ok with it but not my parents at least for a few months


    Well, take things in steps. You told your friends why don't you see how that goes and work up to telling your family?

    I had to tell my mom in a e-mail lol. It's not preferred sure but it was the only way I could do it. It gave her some time to process and she e-mailed me a week later with her feelings.
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    May 06, 2011 9:05 PM GMT
    so now all my friend can talk about is how great it is and about how he's so proud icon_smile.gif so glad i told him meeting up with one or two more friends this weekend! so gonna tell them!
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    May 06, 2011 9:19 PM GMT
    BiJamie saidso now all my friend can talk about is how great it is and about how he's so proud icon_smile.gif so glad i told him meeting up with one or two more friends this weekend! so gonna tell them!


    Awesome, so glad! You're a nice guy and deserve for things to go well.