Oooooooh whoops....

  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    May 04, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    My dad came to my aparment today and while he was here he needed to check his bank, jumped on my computer, clicked the address bar BAM right up, realjock sitting right there with the taglines 'Gay men - chat, forums, dating, etc,etc'.

    Not being out to anyone yet he yelled out to me in the other room 'what this gay chat thing on your computer?'

    Stupidly I just said 'I dunno... never heard of it'

    Rest of the day, nothing different icon_smile.gif So im pretty happy to think he has no problem with it what so ever icon_smile.gif

    Only problem is my mum though... One time I was just talking about a girl I was seeing before by the name Kori. I was talking about her and she thought I meant a guys name (Corey) and the look on her face... literally like I stood up and tore a newborn baby in half right in front of her...

    Probably loosely to do with the fact my dad is in no way at all religious and my mother was raised in a kinda strict christian house... Just a speculation...

    Arghh...

    My dad makes me wanna come out already but I have no idea how the back lash is going to be from the other side of the family :

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    May 04, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    It still puzzles me that people are not okay with their sexuality in 2011.
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    May 04, 2011 1:25 PM GMT
    Solution: Go to the maternity ward, take a newborn baby, hold it in front of the rest of your family, then say "y'all can either accept that I'm gay or I'll tear this newborn baby in half."

    That should do the trick. icon_biggrin.gif

    Edit: Oh yeah, forgot to add...I was "outed" to my parents by being caught in the act with my ex. If you think your experience has a huge impact on your parents, just wait till they catch you "red-handed" (pun intended) with another guy. icon_wink.gif
  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    May 04, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    Im prefectly okay with it... I think its just loosely related to the whole 'from a different generation' thing like when old people still have a bias against black people...

    It'll just wear out over time in my opinion.
  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    May 04, 2011 1:27 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSolution: Go to the maternity ward, take a newborn baby, hold it in front of the rest of your family, then say "y'all can either accept that I'm gay or I'll tear this newborn baby in half."

    That should do the trick. icon_biggrin.gif


    haha icon_biggrin.gif

    mood elevator icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 04, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    You will know when it's time to come out. There are people, including me, who unequivocally accept and embrace their sexuality but are unable to completely come out of the closet for a variety of reasons. You should not let external factors or pressure dictate your decision--coming out has potential consequences (good and bad) and that decision should not be taken lightly. Good luck.
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    May 04, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIf you think your experience has a huge impact on your parents, just wait till they catch you "red-handed" (pun intended) with another guy. icon_wink.gif


    So I take it you were fisting the guy at the time.
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    May 04, 2011 2:29 PM GMT
    Pyrotech said
    paulflexes saidIf you think your experience has a huge impact on your parents, just wait till they catch you "red-handed" (pun intended) with another guy. icon_wink.gif


    So I take it you were fisting the guy at the time.
    No, that would be brown-handed. icon_lol.gif
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    May 04, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidYou will know when it's time to come out. There are people, including me, who unequivocally accept and embrace their sexuality but are unable to completely come out of the closet for a variety of reasons. You should not let external factors or pressure dictate your decision--coming out has potential consequences (good and bad) and that decision should not be taken lightly. Good luck.


    I completely agree with your conclusion. Guys should generally come to terms with themselves and make sure they're really ready before they come out, not have the timing dictated by others. It's not like I leapt out of the closet as a fully formed gay guy in my early teens - I wasn't out at work and to my parents until my lateish 20s.

    But I usually have a hard time imagining why ultimately, most guys wouldn't come out. I'm nosy and curious - looking for a discussion, not looking to troll. What are the reasons you choose not do so?

    I generally think of: (1) still unsure of one's own sexuality, (2) still living with parents who would object, (3) still financially dependent on parents who would object, and (4) lives in a part of the world where it would make one fearful for his physical safety. I gather (though perhaps wrongly) that you live in the same town and are in the same business that I am - so it does make me wonder.


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    May 04, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    Trust me if your parents didn't have questions your dad wouldn't have noticed or asked about that chat site lol.
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    May 04, 2011 3:08 PM GMT
    If I were you I would have used it as an opportunity to come out. Just be like "well dad, its a place where gay men gather and chat about a bunch of things" and he will get the picture
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    May 04, 2011 7:44 PM GMT
    showme said
    DOMINUS saidYou will know when it's time to come out. There are people, including me, who unequivocally accept and embrace their sexuality but are unable to completely come out of the closet for a variety of reasons. You should not let external factors or pressure dictate your decision--coming out has potential consequences (good and bad) and that decision should not be taken lightly. Good luck.


    I completely agree with your conclusion. Guys should generally come to terms with themselves and make sure they're really ready before they come out, not have the timing dictated by others. It's not like I leapt out of the closet as a fully formed gay guy in my early teens - I wasn't out at work and to my parents until my lateish 20s.

    But I usually have a hard time imagining why ultimately, most guys wouldn't come out. I'm nosy and curious - looking for a discussion, not looking to troll. What are the reasons you choose not do so?

    I generally think of: (1) still unsure of one's own sexuality, (2) still living with parents who would object, (3) still financially dependent on parents who would object, and (4) lives in a part of the world where it would make one fearful for his physical safety. I gather (though perhaps wrongly) that you live in the same town and are in the same business that I am - so it does make me wonder.




    You're correct that we live in the same town and it would appear that we are in the same profession. If you've ever worked for very conservative "big law"/AmLaw 100 law firms as I have, you know how practically impossible it is for lawyers with certain immutable characteristics to become partners. If you add sexual orientation to the mix, the "negatives" are multiplied ten-fold. I'm more open with my sexual identity now having broken the marble ceiling and reached partnership status, but I'm always painfully aware of how big law firms and corporate clients view certain things. I am not going to elaborate. I also represent, pro bono, a couple of military-centric organizations. You may draw your own conclusion.
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    May 04, 2011 8:06 PM GMT
    DOMINUS said

    You're correct that we live in the same town and it would appear that we are in the same profession. If you've ever worked for very conservative "big law"/AmLaw 100 law firms as I have, you know how practically impossible it is for lawyers with certain immutable characteristics to become partners. If you add sexual orientation to the mix, the "negatives" are multiplied ten-fold. I'm more open with my sexual identity now having broken the marble ceiling and reached partnership status, but I'm always painfully aware of how big law firms and corporate clients view certain things. I am not going to elaborate. I also represent, pro bono, a couple of military-centric organizations. You may draw your own conclusion.


    Thanks for the answer.
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    May 04, 2011 9:08 PM GMT
    deltalimen saidIt still puzzles me that people are not okay with their sexuality in 2011.
    This.