What's the WORST thing about being gay?

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    Apr 06, 2008 9:40 AM GMT
    Ok guys, time to vent out those frustrations. icon_razz.gif

    Mine is probably the fact that no matter what I'll do, I'll never lead a 'normal' life. Every time I see a guy and a girl in a movie or something, falling in love and all that stuff... I kinda get this bittersweet realization that hey... I'll never experience that. icon_sad.gif I've already lost my teenage years to hiding. Never experienced that first date thing, first kiss, first relationship, a REAL prom date, etc. that straight people go through. What relationships may come will always be tinged by the sense that it's disapproved on by 'normal' society (hence why Brokeback Mountain resonated so much with me). I swear if i was straight, I'd probably consider a cottage, a cat, good neighbors, a good job, a wife and kids enough to make me the happiest man in the world. It's a very simple thing, that heteros take for granted. And I wish I had that. icon_sad.gif

    And before you lecture, me, hell yeah I'm happy I'm gay. icon_smile.gif There's just some things though...
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    Apr 06, 2008 10:07 AM GMT
    ...thinking what's the worst thing about being gayicon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 10:12 AM GMT
    LOL! Idjit! icon_lol.gif

    *SMACK*
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    Apr 06, 2008 1:27 PM GMT
    - Knowing that without the "proper legal paperwork" I may be refused from seeing my partner in the hospital because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that I may be bashed when leaving a bar because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that my chance for a job may be diminished because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that a majority of the rest of civilization shuns me because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that I may be stoned to death in certain countries because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that others assume that I can't fall in love for life because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that many people believe that I have a mental disorder because I'm gay.

    - Knowing that if I ever wanted to adopt a child I may have a hard time because I'm gay.

    The whole "because I'm gay" thing certainly does get repetitive.


    There is good that can come of being gay. Knowing that I can make smart life choices...deciding for myself if I can accomplish any of the above things. Knowing that you can have "that first date thing, first kiss, first relationship, a REAL prom date, etc." The "normal" society is what YOU consider "normal." You can have a great house, good neighbors, a good job, a HUSBAND and kids...and a cat (or dog.)

    If you use good common sense and the correct resources you can bypass all of the crap. Keep your head up and don't let being gay slow you down.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Apr 06, 2008 1:38 PM GMT
    sedative....

    I'm not lecturing you
    just letting you know that you can have all those "feelings" and truly fall in love with someone
    and more than likely you will in time

    don't look at the str8's
    they have their own problems
    we're all here for a short time here on earth
    have fun and make it the best you can
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    Apr 06, 2008 2:09 PM GMT
    Um, nothing really.

    I've been married.
    I have two successful, great kids (one of whom is gay, the other straight).
    I love my career.
    I have good friends.
    My parents are more than okay with it, and in fact were crazy about one of my husbands (not so crazy about the latter one).
    My brother and sister and their kids are fine with it.

    Downside?
    Um, still thinking...?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 06, 2008 2:16 PM GMT
    Knowing our culture and society doesn't respect my relationship as much as it does hetero relationships.
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    Apr 06, 2008 2:48 PM GMT
    Sedative14 saidI've already lost my teenage years to hiding. Never experienced that first date thing, first kiss, first relationship, a REAL prom date, etc. that straight people go through. What relationships may come will always be tinged by the sense that it's disapproved on by 'normal' society

    Those aren't intrinsically downfalls of being gay, they're just the downfalls of society's disapproval of homosexuality. There is a difference.

    Religion, myth, and political propaganda have continued to shape people's views about homosexuality. But today we live in an age of ubiquitous information. People are being exposed to different perspectives and experiences like never before. Religious adherence is also waning.

    As a result, society's views about homosexuality are becoming more tolerant, even supportive. More and more people are willing to come out and not live according to someone else's wishes. They're coming out younger too. These younger people who come out in their teens will never miss out on those things that you mentioned.

    Things are better this generation than they were for the last, and will be better for the next generation than they are now. Gay marriage was inconceivable 20 years ago. Now, it's within our grasp and taking place in at least one state of the U.S. and several countries in Europe. People are beginning to recognize gay rights as human rights.

    But I'm in the same boat as you, so I know what you mean. But when I see those things that I missed out on and it made me think being straight would be so much easier, I only have myself to blame for letting the wishes of society take precedence over living an honest life I wish to live.
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    Apr 06, 2008 2:52 PM GMT
    Sedative14 saidI swear if i was straight, I'd probably consider a cottage, a cat, good neighbors, a good job, a wife and kids enough to make me the happiest man in the world.

    Why can't you have all that with a husband?

    Some people do.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 2:52 PM GMT
    I think the worst thing is the label itself. Once people know it seems that is how they describe you, hey theres Chad.... he's gay. Not hey there is Chad, he really knows his cars and fitness LOL.
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    Apr 06, 2008 2:56 PM GMT
    Everyone expecting me to be GAY, GAY, & GAY. Well, I am gay, so I quess I am living up to everyones expectations. Yeah, right.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 06, 2008 3:03 PM GMT
    knowing that it is so terribly cold and lonely to be f--king fabulous twenty-four hours every day.
  • Kirby_Atwood

    Posts: 42

    Apr 06, 2008 3:33 PM GMT
    People stare at you in a different way. I mean, i really cannot stand the weird look on their face, even though i like to be in focus by others , but not with a curiosity or even discrimination look, really makes me uncomfortable.
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    Apr 06, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    feeling obliged to be the authority on design, fashion, fine dining and entertaining... oh wait, you said the WORST part? icon_wink.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Apr 06, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    Ummmm, not having nearly enough time to shop??? :-)
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 06, 2008 4:01 PM GMT
    I think its not being taken seriously in some ways by people that have a reason to minimalize you.
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    Apr 06, 2008 4:22 PM GMT
    For me the worst thing about being gay is the ominous threat of it adversely affecting my livelihood.

    On the other hand, one of the best things about being gay is getting to know some of the best, brightest and most interesting guys imaginable.
  • drakutis

    Posts: 586

    Apr 06, 2008 4:25 PM GMT
    Sedative14 saidOk guys, time to vent out those frustrations. icon_razz.gif

    Mine is probably the fact that no matter what I'll do, I'll never lead a 'normal' life. Every time I see a guy and a girl in a movie or something, falling in love and all that stuff... I kinda get this bittersweet realization that hey... I'll never experience that. icon_sad.gif I've already lost my teenage years to hiding. Never experienced that first date thing, first kiss, first relationship, a REAL prom date, etc. that straight people go through. What relationships may come will always be tinged by the sense that it's disapproved on by 'normal' society (hence why Brokeback Mountain resonated so much with me). I swear if i was straight, I'd probably consider a cottage, a cat, good neighbors, a good job, a wife and kids enough to make me the happiest man in the world. It's a very simple thing, that heteros take for granted. And I wish I had that. icon_sad.gif

    And before you lecture, me, hell yeah I'm happy I'm gay. icon_smile.gif There's just some things though...


    If I had magical powers, (You all would probably call me a fairy!!) I would grant this wish and make you straight, but let you remember your life as it was so you could do a comparison.

    I went to both of my proms and had a GREAT TIME with females, I went on a first date with several guys, Had a first kiss, a first relationship. What you think "normal" society is disapproving on, they could well be doing it themselves!

    I didn't look to see how old you are, but you have to get to the point where you have to say "F>>K IT, I'M GOING TO LIVE MY LIFE!" Until you stop being concerned about society, you will be stuck at this point and not be able to grow and learn about YOUR life and experience YOUR life.

    Good luck!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 4:56 PM GMT
    1) The looks of disapproval I get from my gay friends when I tell them I'm going golfing.

    2) Fauxhawks everywhere I look. I keep waiting for its 15 minutes of fame to expire but, like a zombie, this do keeps eating heads. OH WHEN WILL IT END????!!!

    K
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    Apr 06, 2008 5:11 PM GMT
    Worst thing, Girls assuming that you want to go shopping with them.(Divas shop alone)

    Girls assuming that you care tampons for them just incase.(Always or Maxi?)

    Str8 guys assuming that you secretly want them.(ok sometimes lol)
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    Apr 06, 2008 5:13 PM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidFor me the worst thing about being gay is the ominous threat of it adversely affecting my livelihood.

    On the other hand, one of the best things about being gay is getting to know some of the best, brightest and most interesting guys imaginable.


    Believe it or not, there are tons of bright, imaginative straight guys who live on the planet too.
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    Apr 06, 2008 5:13 PM GMT
    not getting respect from other minorities. i may be a white male, but i've been yelled at, spit on and physically assaulted too.
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    Apr 06, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    I think what you meant to say was "the worst thing about living in a society that discriminates against and oppresses gay people is...."

    I moved to Canada from South Africa so that I could enjoy living in a country where human rights are progressive and respected. Right now a conservative politician is being called upon to resign after a video of him making homphobic comments over a decade ago has surfaced - this in spite of him apologising profusely.

    But my heart bleeds for my brothers and sisters who live under regimes where they are routinely abused, humiliated and even executed. We have a long struggle to still fight .....
  • jeepguySD

    Posts: 651

    Apr 06, 2008 5:18 PM GMT
    Wow, there are so many directions to go with this, but among the worst things is that so many people still regard being gay as a choice. As far as I can tell, gays are the last group in the US against which discrimination is still legal - spousal rights, survivor benefits, and so many more rights are denied. Who would "choose" that? The laws, and society at large, still differentiate gays from the rest of society, when who we love really shouldn't matter when it comes to civil rights.
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    Apr 06, 2008 5:22 PM GMT
    KissingPro said
    you sure have a romanticized, hollywood style way of describing happiness.......and it all comes from someone or something "out there" instead of from within.

    I'm not sure if you're replying to me or to Sedative since you excerpted both his original post and my reply to him. But why the criticism? Why do you assume that's not his (or my) genuine wish rather than assuming it's a Utopian ideal that's been forced on us by straight society.

    I think people are people, gay and straight, and many share the same ideals, even if you don't or if you think they're contrived.