Yes I have been completely open to my doctor and family, the OCD takes on the form of compulsive masturbation, I went to counselling and I know how my mind works, I know the reasons for my strengths and weaknesses but the doctor thinks that I am still just naturally depressed.
To be perfectly honest I have never had a chance to be happy my whole life until now, but I still can't get out of bed in the morning like I should, I still can't get the sad thoughts of the past out of my mind, I've had poor memory, concentration, time management, etc all my life, I have no drive, I now the solution, I just can't spring myself into action, I can't thing about trivial things, it's always the shit from the past, I have talked about it all to death, I just need to forget the demons and find the will to live my life and become the person I truly see myself as.
Taking what you just said as true and at face valve I get the impression you don't have the skills or knowledge on how to move on. If up to recently you have had a shit past for more then 28 some years then would you know or have acquired the skills to have a different life. At this moment in your life you only know the past.
You may want to think about mentoring yourself to a well put together older guy straight or gay that is the type person you would like to be. You may want to acquire more than one. It sounds like you need living skills you don't have.
You can do this while still going to the MD's
I fell in love with a guy who seemed like god, i.e. athletic, intelligent, hilarious, a real leader, travelled, a true free spirit, but he was also a twisted user who broke my heart even though I told him I only wanted him as a mentor even though I was in love with him, he was the one that triggered this major onset cause I was afraid I'd never find anyone to learn from again.
I got very stalkerish and obsessed with him after his cruel rejection that got me so depressed, i didnt realise it at the time but i was actually just obsessed with his personality attributes rather than himself, i.e. how he could just do a million things at once, have such beeming confidence and self control, how he had such strength of mind and such a happy great sense of humour, i feel like my whole life ive been this free spirited confident soul trapped in a false self that i was raised in, i just want to be my true self, and ive found myself finally but i still feel in a low mood and cant put all my knowledge into action yet, i need a trigger, a boast. i just hope this will help.