You know, Mike, we witness people's lives. This is not easy to comprehend when life is so new, still, and time has not given you the perspective that it affords many of us who have a couple of decades on you, but take note - you are VERY much connected. Right now. Very much indeed.
What you are left with is just under the sorrow and the numbness, which you must endure in order to reveal the obligation that you now have to remember your Mom to the world. To carry her forward in a living testimony that begins and ends with you. You are her legacy. And you are her witness, brother. You are her survivor, her story teller, and the forward carrying champion of all she learned and gathered and shared and discovered and endured and was shaped by in her life here.
You cannot let go of that obligation. You must celebrate your responsibility to remember, and to witness.
And soon, so much sooner than you think - SO very much sooner - you will witness her to someone whose very foundation will be rocked and whose axis will tilt for how taken and how in love with you they are. And you will know why she carried you close to her heart, why she was the person to whom you opened up: so that you could learn - and be ready and open to him.
The sorrow will lift, Mike. The mission is clear. You are connected to all of us who need to hear about her, and about the emerald eye'd man whom she gifted to the world, and whom she chose to witness her life.
We are here. We hear you. You are not broken. Of this, I am certain.