Have you ever reached your breaking point?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    share your story , thanks (:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    I haven't. If things get bad I try to change course, but sometimes that can be hard. I got close in high school and I moved out. Got close again, told everyone I was gay. Got close again recently and told my ex-boyfriend how I really felt about him. I don't think getting to a point where you can't recover on your own is a good thing. Yeah it happens but if you can avoid you should try to get some help before it gets to a point where life seems hopeless or you are just blind with anger all the time.
  • Rowing_Ant

    Posts: 1504

    May 05, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    Yeah...s.eee thread entitled "Help"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 9:38 PM GMT
    Breaking point? What do you mean?

    Are you depressed?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 9:46 PM GMT
    maybe 90%.....but never completely......still have the glass half full thing.....
    icon_wink.gif

    Shameless optimist here...........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 05, 2011 10:16 PM GMT
    Life can be hard. But somehow I've had enough strength to get off my knees and carry on from some difficult times. Sometimes, your only options are to keep waking up in the morning and plugging away at life OR just give up. Fortunately, I've never thought that giving up was the best option.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    I was 99.99999999% there, then put the gun down and told myself that was a stupid idea.
    Never got that far since then.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 11:40 AM GMT
    turbobilly saidmaybe 90%.....but never completely......still have the glass half full thing.....
    icon_wink.gif

    Shameless optimist here...........



    ditto.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    I think I have reached it years ago, when I was fresh out of high school. I was 19 at the time.

    I got aquainted with a guy who was older than me (I believe he was in his mid 20's) and I fell head over heels for him. He captured what I wanted in a guy: Athletic background and took great care of his body, attractive, seemingly good ethics, great confidence and just plain friendly.

    As we got to know each other, it became apparent to me that he was in trouble with harder drugs such as meth. Obviously he slept around a bit, and probably with better quality men (I was a shy, quiet, computer/video game geek with a taller lanky frame and barely any muscle tone complete with acne). Then he started to flake; suddenly he never called me and I couldn't contact him because he refused to give out his number. He never show up to his work for days. I managed to spend a bit of time with him again and he left. Vanished off the city grid.

    A year passed and though his face was somewhat fresh on my mind, I wanted to move on. I lived on my own for a bit, and slowly living and forming my life, or thinking back as I was supposed to.

    Then he came back, with intent in looking for me. I gave him a chance when he admitted his drug problem and he wanted to change over a new leaf. He again began to flake out on everything he said he would do. I stopped showing up, and he did not like that. How dare I to reflect the level of interest that he has shown to me.

    What we were doing would change my life into a long, tiresome, uphill battle with not only him, but myself.

    There was no yelling or arguments, I don't even think we spoke for two months. Yet he was there, working nearby my work, haunting me with the fact that I knew he was fucking some other guy. I knew he was lying to me about everything.

    I wanted him to go, I couldn't take anymore of this. His very presence annoyed me tremendously.

    I endured enough bullies growing up in school, I endured every shortcoming in my life, and still I show patience, try to understand everything and everyone on this planet. And it life wanted to hammer me as weak.

    I was breaking up inside, a deep rage stirred in deep within and swelled with every thought of being humiliated, pushed, shoved, and anything that reminded me that I was inherently inferior.

    That when I felt it snapped, uncontrollable rage consumed me, emotionally and mentally filled with a great distrust, anger, sadness. I wanted to burn down everything in my sight, everything remined me that I exist, and only existed as some kind of practical joke to this man and everyone like him. Lonliness is the price I pay now for bottling up everything wrong in my life. I ended up wandering in life years after that. I never wanted to see him again for what he did, and looking at him would keep reminding me when I snapped.

    Some time later a miracle occured in my city: that our hockey team became so close in winning the cup that it was surreal. Especially that our team never got close to winning a Stanley after two decades. Everyone on the street were celebrating as our team won a spot closer to the finals.

    Everyone were friends with anyone.

    Though it was warm time in my city, I could not find solace, even to this day I have trouble. Even after reading these kids killing themselves because they cannot take the same bullshit treatment I gone through,and the follwing movements to prevent that. I still remain with that rage burning slow deep within me, I struggle to find a place without running away after because I don't want to be hurt or harming anyone in any way.

    It was tragic that what happened blinded me for a long time from what he was struggling and trying to be: a friend. He wanted me to shape up and greet me a proper welcome in my initial exposure to my local community. It became too late for me.

    Don't every let yourself get to that point, it might change your life for the worst.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    In high school, at one point I had such an anxiety problem that I missed weeks of classes and had to begin counselling and medication. It was a really rough time... I don't think I'll ever face anything harder than that in my life.

    Learning to manage anxiety has been a very liberating experience, however, and I have no regrets about having an anxiety disorder-- I've learned so much from it and I really feel it's given me more insight into life than I ever would have had otherwise.

    But 95% of the time these days I don't feel remotely anxious. And when it rears its head I know how to deal with it. icon_smile.gif