Sex on the first date... good sex but bad for relationships?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 3:30 PM GMT
    I had an at home "movie date" with this guy recently. No the movie was not a gimmick to get him into bed. However, we did hit it off and ended up in bed together anyway.

    Well, were joking later that we had been told not to do that and that it was bad luck ect..

    So, how many of you had sex on the first date and regretted it?

    Or, maybe I should ask, how many of you kept dating or had a relationship after that?

  • Paradigm_Shif...

    Posts: 251

    Apr 06, 2008 8:02 PM GMT
    I had sex with my last boyfriend on our first date and we were together for a year and a half. I think good sex can really draw you closer and help get the relationship off to a good start. (That is if the sex is good.... lol)
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    Apr 06, 2008 8:42 PM GMT
    Depends on the person, for me it was not a good thing, but for others it is not an impediment. One thing you should take into account is if the sex is bad or mediocre, it could turn you off a guy that would make a great partner. Sex can always be improved, but it can be very difficult to find a guy you are compatible with in other aspects such as personality or what you enjoy doing for leisure.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 06, 2008 8:48 PM GMT
    I think it would depend on what led up to it, really. If I were interested in being in a relationship. I wouldn't rush into sex.
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    Apr 06, 2008 8:49 PM GMT
    I met a guy recently that I chatted with online and on the phone extensively. We really hit it off. Had both agreed that sex was not an option on the first date. Met for dinner, had great conversation, dinner, went for a walk and then drove to the marina and parked. Made out like a couple of 17 yr olds....afterwards, it was too much for him. I've chatted with him on the phone a couple of times but that's as far as he will go...just friends. I was crushed....good luck, bad luck.... I give up....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2008 8:59 PM GMT
    I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It would be nice if you could get a crush on someone and date some before heading straight to bed. I just don't know if this happens much.
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    Apr 06, 2008 8:59 PM GMT
    I think it really poisons the chance for a relationship. At least I'm speaking for myself. I really have to get to know someone and know that there is a mutual attraction before things go too far sexually.

    Otherwise there's too much wondering about if he's really interested in me, and him wondering the same about me. And then that leads to the game playing where you don't call if you want to call because you might seem too eager. And it gets silly.

    For me the best relationship I ever had was where I got to know someone for months (yes, really) before anything happened. We would probably still be together today if not for geographic distance. We still keep in touch though.
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    Apr 06, 2008 9:01 PM GMT
    I've no rules about sex on the first date. If it happens it happens. What comes after that, comes after that. I've gone on subsequent dates with first-date-sexers, and then not. Depends on the other guy and your vibe with him I think. Tough to have hard and fast rules in romance.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 06, 2008 9:01 PM GMT
    hard and fast

    :teehee:
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    Apr 07, 2008 3:54 AM GMT
    I guess it depends on where you see the relationship going on the first date. To me, having sex on the first date ruins the anticipation of it later. If you're having really good conversation, and are attracted more than physically I would wait. But if the conversation sucks, but the person is hot, why not? To me having sex on the first date is my way of telling the guy, "Not boyfriend material for me, but you're still hot!" Then again, I haven't been on a date in three years, and haven't had sex for just as long, so what would I know...icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 4:02 AM GMT
    Just go with the flow ...
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    Apr 07, 2008 4:05 AM GMT
    I try to stay out of the bed on first dates, but sometimes that's not so easy... given when and where the date takes place. I, however, have managed to maintain relationships after sex on first dates. It is after all nice to know asap if you and your date have sexual chemistry or not. *shrugs* Just my opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 4:24 AM GMT
    I do the reverse: sex before the first date: on the premise that it is important to know if you're sexually compatible with a potential partner. *Besides, I don't eat before sex!*
    If you two are horizontally compatible, then build the relationship from there: You have 3 options>> Romantic Partnership? Special Friendship? Or Just Fuckbuddies (since the sex is sooo good!)?
    It's better to be spared of surprises while you're emotionally unattached. Just my two fills.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 6:03 AM GMT
    I don't do dating any more, just booty calls.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 6:08 AM GMT
    redheadguy saidI don't do dating any more, just booty calls.

    That's a shame. Here's my number. 0097150847259icon_razz.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Apr 07, 2008 6:36 AM GMT
    PhxAriz08 saidTo be honest my first gay sex was on my first date. I know it sound pretty weird. But it was a big mistake, because he live in San Francisco and I live in Phoenix.



    Well, when it comes to a long distance thing like that, sometimes you just have to go by the motto "Take it when you can get it" ;-)
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Apr 07, 2008 6:45 AM GMT
    If sex didn't sometimes cloud things, I'd be fine with sex on the first date. But, now I try not to have sex until about the third date so I get to know the guy better. But, sometimes things happen and we don't make it to third date, in which case I kick myself for not having sex with them when I has the chance. Doh! It cuts both ways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 6:58 AM GMT
    I've never had sex on the first date. I perfer to take things slow as I'm sure a few others do as well. I will admit, though, if I met a guy and things were going great and the chemistry was there then the possibility of sex on a first date might be high.

    I figure it's all good as long as you know what's at stake. Some people handle it well while otthers don't.
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    Apr 07, 2008 10:26 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidhard and fast

    :teehee:


    Hard is good, fast is bad!icon_lol.gif

    If the guy has "equipment failure on takeoff" then you might think twice about having a relationship with him. Unless of course you have had dreams of being the gay Dr. Phil.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 11:11 AM GMT
    I havent gone on a date OR had sex in QUITE some time... i think i forgot how to do either...
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    Apr 07, 2008 11:21 AM GMT
    I know this is gonna make me seem like such a slut but i don't think i have ever had a relationship of any duration that didn't involve sex on the first date. I mean if the sex is good, it is an incentive to build something but if the sex is bad, then........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 11:25 AM GMT
    That is true, but sex can't be everything. I went out on a couple of date with a guy that I met online, and we both talked about that same topic. We both agreed that we'd like to get to know each other better before doing....you know....it?

    Unfortunately my track record is only four dates long. You'd think I'd be able to hold onto someone for longer than that, but there you go.
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    Apr 07, 2008 1:26 PM GMT
    StripperRocco saidI havent gone on a date OR had sex in QUITE some time... i think i forgot how to do either...


    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

    I am sure there are lots of RJ guys would be happy to give you a refresher course on both!icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 07, 2008 1:42 PM GMT
    I wouldn't know. I've tried it both ways waiting and sex immediately and I haven't been succesful in a relationship yet but i will throw in my two cents and say it depends on the person you're with.
  • Csrobbie2000

    Posts: 359

    Apr 08, 2008 3:40 PM GMT
    I have no rules regarding this. I think if it's at the right place and time, then just let it happen naturally. I had sex on the first date with my exbf, and we lasted longer than a year. On the other hand, I had great chemistry with the last guy I went out with. We both wanted to withold the sex until a month after we dated, but it turns out, the sex was horrible, and we became friends instead. To me, the perfect way to end a good date is with a passionate kiss. That way, I know we have a connection and we're attracted to each other physically as well.