Would you stop being friends with someone if...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 9:37 AM GMT
    Say you met someone who you are just friends with. But everytime you guys go out that person goes off and dance with someone else all night. Not to mention you just happened to run into each other yet they never gave any invite from the start?

    I'm just throwing that scenario out there, but I don't like to come off all possessive and shit over friends. I feel we're all free to go out and meet other people, but only to a certain extent. But something similar happened and at the same time when I feel like someone is dissing me I have to do the right thing for myself and break it off with them. I mean, when I go out with friends or someone I know it's out of common courtesy not to just diss each other and go dance with someone else all night.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 10:33 AM GMT
    I think you're defining acquaintance vs. friend or quantity vs. quality.
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    May 07, 2011 10:47 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidI think you're defining acquaintance vs. friend or quantity vs. quality.


    What?
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    May 07, 2011 2:41 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidSay you met someone who you are just friends with. But everytime you guys go out that person goes off and dance with someone else all night. Not to mention you just happened to run into each other yet they never gave any invite from the start?

    I'm just throwing that scenario out there, but I don't like to come off all possessive and shit over friends. I feel we're all free to go out and meet other people, but only to a certain extent. But something similar happened and at the same time when I feel like someone is dissing me I have to do the right thing for myself and break it off with them. I mean, when I go out with friends or someone I know it's out of common courtesy not to just diss each other and go dance with someone else all night.





    I'd think it's hella lame if my friends bailed on me to go dance with other people ALL night.

    Some of the night is different, but ALL night can be very rude but I can see why people do it.

    Think about it from another perspective though- my friends and I know a lot of people around the city so when we go out we run into a lot of those people. We have a drink or a few dances with those people but we all regroup. Maybe these new friends just know a lot of people and want to make sure they're not dissing on those other people?

    You're new to Denver right? I wouldn't get too upset- I mean you're still in the process of meeting people that are of quality and good people, and when you find those people you'll know, but for the moment why don't you just dance and talk to other people that you don't know when your friends bail on you? That way you're not missing out on anything- and who knows you might find a cool new friend.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    May 07, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    I wouldn't mind at all. I spend a lot of time with my friends outside of the club. I don't need to be hanging out with the whole time I'm there. It also forces me to meet new people which is something I like to do.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    May 07, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidI wouldn't mind, I'm always trying to get mine, so I don't care if my friend is off trying to get his/hers. Maybe check up to make sure everything is cool, but don't be a cock block.


    +1 I hate when someone "tries" to cock block. I mean seriously???
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 07, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    I wouldn't mind, I'm always trying to get mine, so I don't care if my friend is off trying to get his/hers. Maybe check up to make sure everything is cool, but don't be a cock block.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 07, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidSay you met someone who you are just friends with. But everytime you guys go out that person goes off and dance with someone else all night. Not to mention you just happened to run into each other yet they never gave any invite from the start?

    I'm just throwing that scenario out there, but I don't like to come off all possessive and shit over friends. I feel we're all free to go out and meet other people, but only to a certain extent. But something similar happened and at the same time when I feel like someone is dissing me I have to do the right thing for myself and break it off with them. I mean, when I go out with friends or someone I know it's out of common courtesy not to just diss each other and go dance with someone else all night.


    have you confronted them about this? because if you haven't then it's going to be just as rude in simply cutting them off.
    However... if you don't want that person as a friend in the first place then you should be alright ;)
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 07, 2011 6:50 PM GMT
    If someone that I am just friends with didn't show me attention every minute that we were ( supposed) to be together...he would be instant history, because ya know...I am fab-u-lous....connie_1.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    May 07, 2011 6:59 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    deltalimen saidI think you're defining acquaintance vs. friend or quantity vs. quality.


    What?



    LOLz. This individual at the club is most def not a friend but merely an acquaintance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 7:05 PM GMT
    I can't wrap my brain around hypothetical questions... not worth the time.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 07, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    My feeling is that, when you go to a dance club with a friend, it's just so you don't have to go alone. Probably, you check in with each other from time to time, throughout the evening. Maybe you dance with each other. Maybe not.

    It's not a date, where you are both obligated to spend most (or all) of your time with each other, at the dance club.

    That said, it's hard for a shy person to go to a club with a friend and then be left alone by their much more outgoing friend. Maybe that's your situation. I don't know.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 07, 2011 7:23 PM GMT
    Celticmusl said
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    deltalimen saidI think you're defining acquaintance vs. friend or quantity vs. quality.


    What?



    LOLz. This individual at the club is most def not a friend but merely an acquaintance.


    Maybe it's just me, but I have a ton of fun pregaming with my friends for a couple hours, but when we go to a bar we seperate ways, to meet people, dance with people (maybe try to hookup lol) , then we each have our own little stories to share the next morning. Those are the best nights.
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    May 07, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver saidNot to mention you just happened to run into each other yet they never gave any invite from the start?


    If he didn't invite you in the first place and you just happened to run into him, how could you be upset that he didn't hang out with you? Maybe he was there with someone else to begin with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    "Would you stop being friends with someone if..."


    Nope, not for the reasons you've described. When I was single and went out, it was often alone. When I went out with a friend, we often split up and well, were being single and available.

    Sometimes we'd wink at each other across the floor or making amusing jaw-agape mimes at each other over guys we liked.

    Afterwards we'd go get a bite to eat (unless one of us was running off for the evening with a handsome someone) somewhere and talk about our evenings.

    lol, you need to mellow out a little, Mr Fit! icon_wink.gif


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    May 07, 2011 8:12 PM GMT
    Webster666 said
    That said, it's hard for a shy person to go to a club with a friend and then be left alone by their much more outgoing friend. Maybe that's your situation. I don't know.


    Well I'm not shy, as I did go there by myself to begin with.

    Basically, it went like this. I was doing my 'rounds' and we run into each other. We chat a bit. Then he's like, let's go dance. And we're dancing for like literally 20 seconds and then he goes off and dance with someone else.

    I know you're right the fact that there was no invite so that's why I did not cock block, which is totally against the game.

    However, since the person asked me to dance and then just left me hanging is what kind of got to me. I mean, if it were me and yes I have been in situations...I can still be kicking it with someone I met and make sure my friend isn't being left out either.

    It seems to always happen though in that type of scenario, you just can't find anyone else around to meet. And then the moment he went off and danced with the other guy some fat greasy mother fucker came up to me asking to buy me a drink. Talk about a slap in the face!

    The fact that the other person didn't care to pay me any mind while with his new fling is why I am saying that perhaps it's better to move on. I deserve better friends than that and I can get better friends than that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 8:53 PM GMT
    Don't give up on him so quickly. He may have been drunk. Sounds like you two are just at the very beginning (acquaintances).
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    May 07, 2011 9:18 PM GMT
    Brownale saidDon't give up on him so quickly. He may have been drunk. Sounds like you two are just at the very beginning (acquaintances).


    mmhmmm he said it right
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 07, 2011 9:25 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    Webster666 said
    That said, it's hard for a shy person to go to a club with a friend and then be left alone by their much more outgoing friend. Maybe that's your situation. I don't know.


    Well I'm not shy, as I did go there by myself to begin with.

    Basically, it went like this. I was doing my 'rounds' and we run into each other. We chat a bit. Then he's like, let's go dance. And we're dancing for like literally 20 seconds and then he goes off and dance with someone else.

    I know you're right the fact that there was no invite so that's why I did not cock block, which is totally against the game.

    However, since the person asked me to dance and then just left me hanging is what kind of got to me. I mean, if it were me and yes I have been in situations...I can still be kicking it with someone I met and make sure my friend isn't being left out either.

    It seems to always happen though in that type of scenario, you just can't find anyone else around to meet. And then the moment he went off and danced with the other guy some fat greasy mother fucker came up to me asking to buy me a drink. Talk about a slap in the face!

    The fact that the other person didn't care to pay me any mind while with his new fling is why I am saying that perhaps it's better to move on. I deserve better friends than that and I can get better friends than that.



    Maybe you can't dance?
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    May 07, 2011 9:30 PM GMT
    Well, I'd just make it clear that if I found someone I wanted to dance with, then I'll dance with them. My friend is free to do that as well. As long as we both know where the other is, then it's all good.
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    May 07, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    Brownale saidDon't give up on him so quickly. He may have been drunk. Sounds like you two are just at the very beginning (acquaintances).


    But the thing is, he doesn't even drink!

    ohioguy12 said
    Maybe you can't dance?


    You're right, I can't fucking dance to this lame ass flaming queer music that they play in Denver every god damned night of the weekend. For Christ sakes, Denver has a sizable Latino population, play some Salsa. Or play some tribal house or electro . Mix hip hop with some house beats. Nope, same old bullshit week in, week out.

    Maybe if they played better shit there wouldn't be an issue.
  • Leo123

    Posts: 126

    May 08, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    I've been screwed over by supposed friendships so many times that I can probably help you out on this one.

    First off, how does he treat you outside the club scenario? And the easiest way to catch them shitheads, how does he treat his other friends? Read between the lines, shit people send signals all the time that they're shit.

    Ditch you at the club, good, that's one. Now, what else? Are you his last choice of people for the other situations too? Does he usually call you to arrange stuff or are you always the one going after this guy?

    Look, for an acquaitance, I'm cool with almost anything. If he wants to ditch me at the club that's fine because at the end of the day, all I'm doing is using him for my convenience too.

    NOWW.. If the guy I consider my true close friend starts pulling this shit with me all the time, I'd be pissed. Confront him and then just ditch the son of a bitch because NO, they WON'T change because you're whiny. Just make sure it's an overall scenario and not just a bad night out.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 08, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    really? jeeze dude, no wonder you are so miserable in denver. how are you going to get upset at someone enjoying themselves. u two are not dating so why should he be all under you all night.
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    May 08, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidI think you're defining acquaintance vs. friend or quantity vs. quality.


    I agree with this.
    The few times I've run into a really good friend by chance, usually we'll wind up hanging out for the rest of the night, integrating social circles, etc...

    But the situation you described happened to me, I guess I wouldn't think of the person as a friend...*shrug*
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    May 08, 2011 3:00 AM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidreally? jeeze dude, no wonder you are so miserable in denver. how are you going to get upset at someone enjoying themselves. u two are not dating so why should he be all under you all night.


    Don't say something that I didn't suggest. I did not say he needed to be around me all night.

    OK, we're not dating. But the way it went down kind of irked me. It's like, the person said, "let's dance...and then literally a minute later he sees someone and says, "I'm going to ask him to dance".

    To me it was almost as if I was being used to build up his courage to ask that guy to dance, because he finally had a dancing partner. And I was the dancing partner. You don't fucking do that... In addition, the mere fact of running off to dance with someone else really makes the person who got left look bad. Friends don't do that to each other. We dance together, in the vicinity. Not run off to the other side and forget about so and so on the dancefloor.

    I see things for face value. I'm not going to let someone ride atop of me so they can use that to meet another person.

    The last time I was out with this person we went to meet a guy who liked me. But I still introduced and included the person and the guy I was with even bought my friend a couple of drinks.

    I'm sorry but I just like a bit more camaraderie if I'm friends with someone. If they don't feel the need to invite me out or introduce me to the other person, that's fine. That's basically telling me to move on. But I'm not going to just be there and not mind at all...

    I can probably forgive him cause he is really new to the club scene, and doesn't understand how to go about meeting people without alienating your friend but I'd think it's an instinctive courtesy to not do something like that. Or maybe he did it on purpose which is grounds for me to move on...