"Straight Acting Guys"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    Okay... so first let me preface this by saying that I am a masculine guy. Having said that, I think everyone on here knows someone at some point or another who is gay that claims to be "straight acting". I never cease to be puzzled by guys (usually who lie about the fact that they are gay to other people) who say they are "straight acting".

    What does that mean anyways? I've listed a few things below about what I think it might mean, and if anyone would like to clear me up on this, feel free to comment....

    "Straight acting" guys are.....

    1. Guys who are gay that pretend to be straight in public settings to avoid anti-gay rhetoric (understandable in my view depending on where you live and what you do)

    or

    2. Guys who are gay that date women but have hookups with men because they are probably gay but are scared of themselves.

    or

    3. Guys who act masculine in public but naturally act feminine in private, but don't want to be seen as feminine, so they act masculine and macho to be more accepted by their gay hating friends.

    or

    4. Guys who don't understand that you can act masculine but still be openly gay and truthful about your sexuality, without being feminine in your behaviors. Therefore they claim to be "straight acting" because they think that masculine truthful gay men don't exist?

    Feel free to comment. Seriously not trying to be an ass, but it seems like the definition is radically different from person to person. Just wanted to get opinions because it confuses the hell out of me. Thanks!

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    May 07, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    I think in general, they mean the 4th definition icon_smile.gif Although sometimes the 1st definition applies in case you live in an area where homosexuality isn't tolerated...
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    May 08, 2011 12:05 AM GMT
    From reading the various threads here, it's pretty obvious that almost all gays lust after straight guys. Maybe it's a little bit of self-loathing and maybe it's a little bit of fantasizing about turning out a straight guy. So I have this theory that some/most gay guys act straight as a ruse to attract other gay men. icon_lol.gif
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    May 08, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    findout said

    "Straight acting" guys are.....

    1. Guys who are gay that pretend to be straight in public settings to avoid anti-gay rhetoric (understandable in my view depending on where you live and what you do)

    or

    2. Guys who are gay that date women but have hookups with men because they are probably gay but are scared of themselves.

    or

    3. Guys who act masculine in public but naturally act feminine in private, but don't want to be seen as feminine, so they act masculine and macho to be more accepted by their gay hating friends.

    or

    4. Guys who don't understand that you can act masculine but still be openly gay and truthful about your sexuality, without being feminine in your behaviors. Therefore they claim to be "straight acting" because they think that masculine truthful gay men don't exist?



    Sounds to me like you have covered most bases. No doubt some on RJ will be stirred up however lol
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    May 08, 2011 12:36 AM GMT
    You forgot a category.

    5. Guys who are themselves.

    This is the category that I am in. icon_biggrin.gif
  • SactownItalia...

    Posts: 306

    May 08, 2011 12:53 AM GMT
    he didn't forget a category. # 5 is just # 4 in disguise.

    my biggest pet peeve is when guys say they are "straight acting". it's like number 4 states, they assume they can't be masculine and gay and perpetuate that belief by labeling themselves.
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    May 08, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidYou forgot a category.

    5. Guys who are themselves.

    This is the category that I am in. icon_biggrin.gif


    If you are being yourself then you wouldn't be "acting-" which is why it wasn't included in the categories.
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    May 08, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    I used to be concerned with being as "straight-acting" as possible when I was younger because I wasn't secure with myself. Now that I'm a bit older I just don't give a fuck. I'm naturally masculine but I don't care if I do things that may be deemed as "gay."
    _d
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    May 08, 2011 1:08 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidYou forgot a category.

    5. Guys who are themselves.

    This is the category that I am in. icon_biggrin.gif

    Apparently masculine men who are just naturally masculine, but gay, are putting on an act. Where have you been.!? /sarcasm
  • nubScotty

    Posts: 282

    May 08, 2011 1:09 AM GMT
    I used "straight acting" for a while, since it was the only term that I knew and which I could relate to. I also get told all the time that I am way to "straight-acting" to be gay, but if I was truly straight acting, I don't think would enjoy sucking dick as much as I do icon_rolleyes.gif. A running joke with my friends is that, as soon as I have a few drinks in me I'm straight. However I don't really identify with the term masculine either since I don't think I'm masculine/macho/etc at all(spiders are scurry!).

    I tend to now say I'm a regular guy who happens to be attracted too other guys, and I find that the best definition, if I had to define myself/sexuality.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 1:13 AM GMT
    I never took acting classes, so I can't claim to be "straight acting" - I can only claim to be masculine.

    Sometimes.
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    May 08, 2011 1:15 AM GMT
    'straight acting' is for gayboys who dont want people to think theyre gay.

    anything described with the word 'acting' shows pretence and fakery.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    Maybe... just maybe... there is no acting for some of them.
    Exceptions to the rules... yes... exceptions!
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    May 08, 2011 1:23 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidI loves me a "straight-acting" guy.

    In my dictionary, "straight-acting"=masculine (not closetted, self-hating, or any of your other hang-ups.) To me it's just saying "average, everyday guy".

    Your definition is neat too, though....hope it's workin' for ya.


    Mine is the complete opposite.

    Masculine= "not closetted, self-hating, or any of your other hang-ups 'average, everyday guy'."

    "straight-acting"=/=masculine
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    5. Guys who are just straight up masculine

    6. All of the above

    The beautiful thing about English is that words and phrases almost never have one single definition.

    EDIT: You guys who are saying that the word act implies false behavior... have you never heard act used as a synonym for behave before? Are you not exposed to native English speakers on a regular basis? People never stick to the literal definitions of words. It's hypercritical of you all to get upset over something so trivial.
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    May 08, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    stee99 said'straight acting' is for gayboys who dont want people to think theyre gay.

    anything described with the word 'acting' shows pretence and fakery.

    Right....so my "fast-acting Rolaids" are just pretending. icon_lol.gif


    yes, they're psychosomatic. lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    "Straight-acting guys" are guys who have sex with women. It's a stupid term because there are masculine gay guys and feminine straight guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 1:55 AM GMT
    In my opinion there are only two kinds of guys, men and fems. You can be gay and still be a man which most of us prefer. But fems or effeminate dudes, cross-dressing, transgender, etc...I just don't get. It's your choice to do that sort of thing I guess. But I love a beer swilling, ball scratching ass kicking, bar brawling rough neck. But that's just meicon_cool.gificon_cool.gif
  • dudeitsme

    Posts: 8

    May 08, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    There is an important difference between gay and masculine, and being "straight acting". The former doesn't censor "gayness" for approval like the latter does. You can be as manly a gay guy as you want. There's nothing wrong with that if that's you. The problem is in diminishing your gayness, using masculinity as a facade, and discriminating against other gay men who don't "supplement" their "gayness" with "traditional" masculinity. - from Straight Acting by Angelo Pezzote
    And not all gay men like straight guys, it's a huge turn off being bi, let alone saying your straight to me.
    Further more the pursuit of these 'straight men' is one of those things that feeds into that stereotype, and keep us from truly having equality. (so to all yall gay men like to hit on REAL straight guys, stop fuckin' it up for everyone one who plays by the rules! or at least shut up about it, if i have to hear one more guy 'brag' about turning a straight dude i'm gonna fucking rip my hair out. THEIR NOT STRAIGHT IF THEY'LL HAVE SEX WITH A MAN! Identifying with something doesn't make you part of it, if i told everyone I was black, it wouldn't make me black)
    As well as many of us are just finding ways to make other people within our own community be lower than them to boost them self up, using the phrase 'straight' is implying your better than some one who has a more obvious feminine aspect, which in masculine cultures is considered weakness. going back to say something that is womanly is weak. (which is sexism towards women, which ALOT of gay men have) Some of my closest friends get called a faggot just walking down the street, and i seen some drag queen take down the burliest of men. And that takes alot of balls, and self pride to live with that. So someone who feels the need to state their masculinity in such a way, are just obviously just trying to mask their underdeveloped pressurized cultural view of themselves, fitting into what society thinks a man should act, talk, walk, and think like and i personally pity them.
  • SFGeoNinja

    Posts: 510

    May 08, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    SactownItalian saidhe didn't forget a category. # 5 is just # 4 in disguise.

    my biggest pet peeve is when guys say they are "straight acting". it's like number 4 states, they assume they can't be masculine and gay and perpetuate that belief by labeling themselves.


    This is a good point. If there were a #5 and the guys were both gay and comfortable in their own skin, then you wouldn't need a label for it, would you?
  • dudeitsme

    Posts: 8

    May 08, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]yourname2000 said[/cite]
    dudeitsme saidThere is an important difference between gay and masculine, and being "straight acting". The former doesn't censor "gayness" for approval like the latter does. You can be as manly a gay guy as you want. There's nothing wrong with that if that's you. The problem is in diminishing your gayness, using masculinity as a facade, and discriminating against other gay men who don't "supplement" their "gayness" with "traditional" masculinity. - from Straight Acting by Angelo Pezzote
    And not all gay men like straight guys, it's a huge turn off being bi, let alone saying your straight to me.
    Further more the pursuit of these 'straight men' is one of those things that feeds into that stereotype, and keep us from truly having equality. (so to all yall gay men like to hit on REAL straight guys, stop fuckin' it up for everyone one who plays by the rules! or at least shut up about it, if i have to hear one more guy 'brag' about turning a straight dude i'm gonna fucking rip my hair out. THEIR NOT STRAIGHT IF THEY'LL HAVE SEX WITH A MAN! Identifying with something doesn't make you part of it, if i told everyone I was black, it wouldn't make me black)
    As well as many of us are just finding ways to make other people within our own community be lower than them to boost them self up, using the phrase 'straight' is implying your better than some one who has a more obvious feminine aspect, which in masculine cultures is considered weakness. going back to say something that is womanly is weak. (which is sexism towards women, which ALOT of gay men have) Some of my closest friends get called a faggot just walking down the street, and i seen some drag queen take down the burliest of men. And that takes alot of balls, and self pride to live with that. So someone who feels the need to state their masculinity in such a way, are just obviously just trying to mask their underdeveloped pressurized cultural view of themselves, fitting into what society thinks a man should act, talk, walk, and think like and i personally pity them.

    All righty then....so now you just need to go in an update wikipedia for everyone and then get all of the dictionaries in the world to comply too.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straight-acting

    it doesn't change it's offensive nature. and it does need more updating, the implications are more complex than half a wiki page.
  • dudeitsme

    Posts: 8

    May 08, 2011 3:21 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]yourname2000 said[/cite]
    dudeitsme saidThere is an important difference between gay and masculine, and being "straight acting". The former doesn't censor "gayness" for approval like the latter does. You can be as manly a gay guy as you want. There's nothing wrong with that if that's you. The problem is in diminishing your gayness, using masculinity as a facade, and discriminating against other gay men who don't "supplement" their "gayness" with "traditional" masculinity. - from Straight Acting by Angelo Pezzote
    And not all gay men like straight guys, it's a huge turn off being bi, let alone saying your straight to me.
    Further more the pursuit of these 'straight men' is one of those things that feeds into that stereotype, and keep us from truly having equality. (so to all yall gay men like to hit on REAL straight guys, stop fuckin' it u
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    May 08, 2011 3:28 AM GMT
    I was acted the part of a straight man. I played Bob Cratchit from "A Christmas Carol" It was pretty neat.
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    May 08, 2011 3:30 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    dudeitsme said...the implications are more complex than half a wiki page.

    Not for me. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

    Straight: sleeps with women
    Straight-acting: doesn't do that, but you'd never know it from looking at him.

    I don't see it as the bourgeois proletariat elitists foisting their neo-fascist dehumanizing dogma on the undulating unwashed masses. (or whatever it is that I'm to be afraid of.) icon_neutral.gif

    Thank you. Finally, someone gets it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    If you have to define yourself as straight ACTING, youre NOT.
    Youre Not fooling anybody.