So there was this guy...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 7:30 PM GMT
    Well, speaking of being ignored (another thread). I have something I need to get off my chest because it's been driving me crazy everyday for the past 4 months..

    So there was this guy (yes, I know, all stories like this begin this way...) and we talked online for a bit then exchanged numbers and texted for a solid 2 weeks, everyday. We finally went out for a first date and it went really well and we even spoke about how we both had a great time together. I really liked him.

    Shortly after, we arranged to go out for a second date. Around this time, his phone stop working correctly and wouldn't send or receive some messages (apparently..). But we never ended up going because we hadn't picked a time or place and he didn't text me until after to say that he got caught up at work (understandable). So we rescheduled for the next week, same thing happened...(angry face).

    At this point he's (0-2), so I gave it one more shot and we said the following week. We spoke the day before to make plans, meanwhile he still sounded eager to go on the date (indicated by smiley faces and a generally optimistic tone). Anyways, the day came and we never ended up going...

    Spoke again after, and he was all frustrated about how his phone didn't work and he was upset that we didn't chat as much, though no mention of the failures that were our three attempts at a second date.

    Anyways, over the next month or so I would text him randomly... sometimes he would reply sometimes he wouldn't until finally nothing... I messaged him online once or twice, while he was online, but nothing.

    I've been completely understanding and polite this whole time. I'm STILL confused because from what I could tell, he seemed like a perfectly decent guy so I really don't understand why he's been such a dickwad. Maybe, it was complete coincidence that he just didn't get any of my messages and is too wondering what happened. I dunno... It just stresses me out because I really liked him and I haven't really found anyone that I've gotten along with so well...



    Whew, that was longer than I thought. icon_razz.gif
    Honestly I would probably say tl;dr too... but I you have any insights, I'd appreciate 'em. =)
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    May 07, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    Well, if it's any consolation, that's the same kind of behaviour (but with only a telephone) that happened to me and a fair number of people I knew in the 1970s. Things haven't changed much.

    I always just remained civil, but walked away from situations like that. icon_wink.gif


    It's frustrating, isn't it, when everything else seems to just click so nicely.

    -Doug


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    May 07, 2011 7:43 PM GMT
    He was simply ignoring you because he didn't actually want to see you again. Instead of being forefront with his feelings, it was easier to lead you on and fuck your feelings over because being straightforward is hard for some.


    Dealt with almost the exact same situation. Eventually I got confrontational, had him apologize because it was obvious of what was happening and left it at that.
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    May 07, 2011 7:46 PM GMT
    He sounds like a keeper.

    Really, just move on.
    If his phone wasn't working well AND he was interested, he would have found a way to get in contact with you-- e-mail, IM, etc. The phone issue is a convenient excuse (or lie) so that he can be casual with you and have an easy out for when he doesn't want to keep in contact.
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    May 07, 2011 8:06 PM GMT
    Thanks guys.
    I needed someone to just tell me that plainly.

    And really, if he has such a hard time being upfront then I really don't want anything to do with him...
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    May 07, 2011 8:08 PM GMT
    goldenblue saidThanks guys.
    I needed someone to just tell me that plainly.

    And really, if he has such a hard time being upfront then I really don't want anything to do with him...


    TA-DAH!!!!

    You're doing just fine!
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    May 08, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    I think all of us that have 'dated' in the past few years has had this experience. It's nothing new and goes on in the str8 world as well (my son is 35 and hetero and went through the same thing with women...go figure)

    He may have lied (ok embellished the story) a bit about his work, his marital status, his HIV status just to impress or avoid talking about it. Things went better than he thought it would and he needs to avoid you before you find out he is lying about something... maybe

    Or maybe he's just a symptom of the continuing thread on here:

    "Would you take the person above you or take a chance on the next one below you?"

    Crazy world. My only suggestion from a happily married gay man. Don't put such a small price tag on yourself
  • mybud

    Posts: 11835

    May 08, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    like that saying..."He's really not into you".....lick your wounds and move on...chalk it up to his loss....BUD
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    May 08, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    mybud saidlike that saying..."He's really not into you".....lick your wounds and move on...chalk it up to his loss....BUD


    Wasn't that movie such a good learning experience haha icon_smile.gif He's exactly right OP- you seem like a great catch- chalk it up to his loss icon_smile.gif What is meant to be will find a way
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    May 08, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    He's stringing you along. Move on!
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    May 09, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    He's being a schmuck. And, you're too hot for him. Find someone who respects you, your time, and what you have to offer.
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    May 09, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Everyone who involves texting in the dating process has that happen to them. Often, A LOT. It's just how it is.

    Know one thing though, when a guy really wants to see you he'll want to see you, hell or high water. If you see signs like oh the text didn't go through guess the date is yet again cancelled, he doesn't want it.

    When guys want something they reaaaaallly let you know. If they want it.
  • twilight2010

    Posts: 307

    May 23, 2011 7:06 PM GMT
    move on
    do not let anyone treat you like that
    If they cannot even reply to you in email, im, whatever
    they have no intention

    you better off find another man.